There is some wisdom that I have gained through the years. I feel it is really incumbent upon me to share some of this knowledge. You don’t have to read it, though.
1. Never trust a fart.
2. See the doctor.
3. All the things they told you to slow down when you were young, you should now speed up and get on with it. Walking, talking, driving, sex. Would you just finish, please?
4. Yes, you need to brush your teeth. Again.
5. Plumbing leaks and repairs are costly. Keep the pipes flushed and in good repair. That refers to your biological pipes as well as the copper ones.
6. The pretend lover is every bit as real as the real lover.
7. When a woman says she likes older men, she doesn’t mean OLD men.
8. Use it or lose it.
It’s amazing that I’ve lived 74 years and have collected no more wisdom than this.