Chapter 10 of Through different Eyes has been uploaded... and Mutti confronts an event from her past.
“Hmm … this man,” she tapped the individual in the photo, “is SS Haupt Sturmführer Vogel.” Her voice was ice cold as she lifted her eyes to stare across the garden towards the playing fields and the stands of eucalypts surrounding them. Her lips pursed and eyes narrowed. “Vogel was at Ravensbrück for months in late 1944 and part of his duties was …” She glanced at me and assessed what she was about to say. “… overseeing the special prisoners – which included the English girls sent to Europe as spies.”
There was another long pause as Mutti revisited these hard memories.
“I went into the block one day, as usual, to empty the slop buckets, with an SS guard to open each cell for me. As I worked my way down the cell block corridor, I could see a cell door was standing open with no guard and my stomach clenched: they had executed someone. As we moved closer, I could see it was …” her voice caught for a moment. “It was one of the English girls. As I arrived at the cell, the door at the far end of the block opened, the one that led to the yard they used for executions. Vogel strutted in, replacing his pistol in its holster.”
Mutti picked up my hand, her eyes avoiding mine. “I don’t think I should tell you any more …”
I gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze … and I guessed why this death was special, amongst the countless number she had witnessed at Ravensbrück. “He had executed Colette, hadn’t he? The girl I’m named for.”
Mutti’s eyes rose to mine, glittering with unshed tears. She took several uncertain breaths before continuing. “I didn’t move away fast enough. Vogel saw my face and grabbed my throat, pushing me up against the wall. I reached for the floor with my toes.” Her nose wrinkled. “I could smell the acrid explosives on his hand from firing the pistol. His eyes bored into mine, revelling in my sorrow. I’ll not forget his words or his icy, arrogant visage.” Mutti swallowed, fingers fidgeting at her throat. “He mocked me for mourning a spy … and told me he looked forward to scouring the Reich free of communist … rubbish … like me.” Mutti’s eyes stared into the distant past. “When he dropped me, I staggered and fell beside the stinking slop bucket. He strode away, boot-heels smacking his arrogance into the concrete floor.”
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