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Another Rewrite! Surprise!

Posted at Updated:
 

Hi All

I paid a little attention to the folks who read this story, "Surprise!", and upon reading it, they were correct. The darn thing was hard to follow. So I redid it and now it should flow more clearly.

Thanks for the suggestions, even the "You Suck" from all those non-writers who could do better but they just don't have the time.

Love you!

Mick

 

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