"okay, you are pretentious, and a lazy narcissist who gaslights people into feeling bad about themselves. You justify constant bad choices and habits by intentionally creating victim scenarios in your head and then blaming others for the outcome of your decisions " I replied
"No, not like that. I meant rough sex" she clarified.
So I tied her up and made her give me a rusty trombone (blow in my asshole while reaching around and jerking my dick like a trombone). Then I said "all of your relationships are dysfunctional fictions of co-dependency"
I think she liked it. I also intentionally forgot her birthday.