Hello Everyone,
I am Jun Tristan your janitor of darkness. Why is the janitor the emcee? Because my boss is a cheap bastard. Would you believe that not even one little slut wanted to tour my closet after our last show?
Hey Blondie, Yeah, you, the one in the front row with your hand in your shorts. If you'll wait a few minutes I'll help you with that. What's that? Crabs, you say. Come see me after you see the doc.
Anyway, Great News! Great News! Our distiller called. He said they were looking through the warehouse when they found extra ingredients. Old and a bit musty, but still usable. So the run of Kevie's New Life will be larger than originally ordered. He said that it will have a blend of depravity, fear, and hate with a belying sweetness and lust that will tickle even the most bland of palates and entrance the most discriminating. He said it will take a little longer to deliver due to it's size.
For Hell's sake people, when it gets here read the label before imbibing. We are not responsible for tummy aches, unless you spend time with Madame Rachel. Gut punches are her specialty.
Oh, before I get off stage. Madame Jasmine said to tell everyone that if she finds the prick that jizzed in her favorite thigh high leather boots she will cut off said prick and mount it in her wall collection.
Enjoy your sins, just don't die from them. This is Jun Tristan your janitor of darkness signing off. Hm... where did Blondie go? I've got some Raid. The mic's still hot? damn.