I need feedback on the sex in Unknown War.
To much, too little, good or bad, not descriptive enough or too descriptive...
I had an interesting email, which made me think. I love those. They asked me to change the bad things that happen in chapter 5 (no spoilers). Here is/was my response:
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First, thanks for the feedback.
While I kinda agree, that entertainment should be be fun and agreeable. That the crappiness of life shouldnt creep into our entertainment. This is where I have to disagree, an unrealistic story gets boring to read. I have read them, and I am sure you have read them as well. Stories, that no matter what insane situation the author throws at their characters, they skate through with barely a scratch, and we all applaud their resourcefulness. I am writing one now, The Haunted Daylight. So that is my first reason, I hate boring and predictable.
This does serve a purpose, this isnt for no reason. It tells the reader how dangerous this era is, and really nails it in. It develops the characters, gives you more insights in to how they think, what they feel, by how they react. It does further one of the plots along, but that is a weak tie in. It narrows the focus, less distractions from the main character, though I do plan to introduce more later. Did you know that the fatality rate for a first time pregnancy was close to 50% in the 17th century? They werent numb to death, they had all the same emotions. I havent really touched on this yet in the story, but death is rampant. A random, barely noticeable, everyday cut could kill you if you were unlucky enough. With no drugs to treat infections, diabetes, asthma, allergies...
Next reason: This medium, free stories for people to read, is a place too practice skills, tryout ideas and watch them burn to the ground without any real consequences. This is a place for me to grow as a writer. Did you know this story is the first time I have written sexually explicit material? (I still havent got feedback on that yet, is it terrible, great?) That was also my first attempt at actually trying to write something sad. There are a few more ideas I have in the works that will be firsts for me. So I am trying out new things, getting better at grammar, and structure. It is as much a learning tool for me, as it is a source of entertainment for you.
Lastly... I once read a story, well I first started reading it for the sex, I am not going to lie. After a while, I would scroll past the sex, and keep reading the story, it was a great story. Eventually I scrolled past all the sex, only interested in the story, dont get me wrong, the sex was written well, but the story was really great. It was an emotional roller coaster. It started off slow, happy, and the hills and dips just gradually got more and more profound. By the end of the story I had experienced every range of emotions, and a few to extremes. At one point I was so angry that I stopped reading the story, but eventually went back and finished it, I am glad I did. I laughed, I cried, depression, thrilling, suspense, cheering, greedy, jealousy, killing intent, sappy, sexy, and so many more. That story was, fulfilling, is the best way to put it. I felt like a better person for have read it. Not because I agreed with the material, or the plots, but because it touched me deep down and I grew the tiniest bit. If I could ever write something like that, I think I could finally call myself a good writer. To be able to reach in and touch someones psyche, their soul, and caress it with the words of a story, is amazing to me. That really isnt a goal for this story, but something I strive to do eventually. Baby steps.
j
Post Script,
if you are curious, here is the story I mentioned;
https://storiesonline.net/series/598/an-ordinary-sex-life