I have completed my first book, Liberty Mountain: No Man's Land (103,800 words).
I've never written fiction before. Truth be told, I have always wanted to do a "dirty book." One day, just for the hell of it and on a lark, I started to write. To my astonishment, folks really liked the story. So much so, I now want it to be available without the **EROTICA** tag.
To that end, I am re-writing, editing and toning down the explicitly sexual scenes so they will not be flagged by Amazon censors. Posted below is one example.
Please read and offer your thoughts.
QUESTION: Is the section hot enough to please while also being acceptable to readers of general romance and adventure?
---- From Chapter Seven ----
https://storiesonline.net/s/20838/secrets-of-liberty-mountain
As I started to prepare for my shower, Darlene wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug and a smooch almost violent in its intensity.
"I'm so damn horny, Dennis! I want you to make love to me," she said as she took my hands and pulled me next to her on the bed.
"Your wish is my command," I replied, and slowly began to kiss Darlene's face.
I tenderly stroked her eyelids and cheeks and lightly traced the point of my tongue across her welcoming lips and followed with kisses under her chin as I moved down and nibbled along the nape of her neck. I traversed the edge of her collarbone to her shoulders' rounded crest before reversing direction and gently kissed the side of her neck.
Darlene's steady breathing changed into little pants punctuated by low moans as I circled her face with affection. I slowly caressed the contours of her chest while almost, but not entirely avoiding direct contact with the hilltops. I let my fingers accidentally-on-purpose brush ever so slightly against each summit as my hands explored the slopes and the valley between.
Each time my fingers approached the tips of her desire, Darlene curved her back and tried to press herself into my hands. I refused to connect and continued to tease.
I moved to the inside of my lover's thighs as she parted her legs and allowed me space to softly caress her sensitive skin. She held her breath as my advancing fingers danced along the edge of her pleasure. She gasped and shuddered as I ventured ever deeper.
Darlene's whimper was whisper-quiet, and her body glistened with desire as her body took on a deep reddish blush. Her soft moans became steadily louder as her arousal grew in anticipation of my touch while I visited and stimulated each erogenous zone in turn.
I felt the tension building within as she trembled, and her muscles tightened in response to ever-building waves of desire.
As I slid forward in search of her special place, Darlene lifted her hips in welcome and twisted her body to meet my lips. The point of my tongue gathered her dew as I celebrated and relished every luscious drop.
The tip of my tongue acted like a magnifying glass in a beam of sunlight. I narrowed the focus of Darlene's thrill and guided each particle of delight toward the center of her joy. Women have twice as many nerve endings there as men do. I wanted every strand to be on fire with desire.
"Oh, mercy, yes! Don't, uh, Oh my God! Don't stop!" she shouted as her body started to shake and quiver.
Darlene's climax exploded in a series of spasms, her legs went stiff, and then kicked and thrashed about as she moaned, "Yes! That's it. Oh yeah!" I relaxed the pressure a tiny bit and then redoubled my efforts as I stimulated all points at the same time as each wave passed.
I knew I had finished when she moved me away. I wiped my face with my hand and scooted up and rested alongside my lover's body. I held her close to me, and we cuddled together and basked in the warm afterglow of euphoria.
Savoring Darlene's lips, I innocently inquired, "Did I make you happy?" It was a stupid question, but I loved hearing the answer. It was my report card.
"You were absolutely fantastic, Dennis, and you know it! My sweetheart, I came so many times I lost count," she said as she hugged me as tightly as she was able.
"That was only the first installment. Are you ready for part two?"
I kissed her skin in a line under her navel and whispered, "Turn over."
She eagerly obeyed. I straddled her and began to massage her bare backside and the inside of her loins. The heavenly and musky scent of lust rose from Darlene like steam. I savored the sweet/tart taste of her excitement.
I proceeded to lick and explore the pathways of desire. Each pass was a little faster than the previous one as I teased and pushed Darlene toward the brink. She suddenly arched her back and screamed, "Oh my lord! Oh, Dennis, yes!"
As she cried out, I stiffened my tongue and drove it as deep into her as far as possible. Darlene's entire body tensed in a screaming, nearly ear-splitting shriek of passion as she reached the top of her peak and kept climbing. Her contractions of bliss squeezed like a pulsating vise in one surge of ecstasy after another before she lay still.
"Christ, Darlene, do you think you can make any more fucking noise?" I scolded.
"I doubt it, but I can try," she chuckled as she tried to catch her breath.
"I had been telling my sisters what a fantastic lover you are while you were meeting with Sheila, but I don't think they believed me, so I decided to let them hear for themselves. Besides, you need all the publicity you can get," Darlene explained.
"Why would I need any advertising?" I wanted to know.
"Tonight, I think they all heard how hard you make a girl come. You now have a reputation to uphold, Mr. Talented Tongue. A few of my friends might want you to give them personal tutoring if I know them."
"And you would be okay with that?" I asked as I gave her a skeptical eye.
"Of course, I would be, just as long as you make sure your students use me for the final exam," Darlene laughed with a wink.
"Okay, okay, I'll think about it," I said as I lowered my mouth and began again. It had been a long day, but the night was still young.
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I look forward to reading your thoughts and suggestions. Send me an email or post at the end of the story. Thank you.
Write on!
Nathan
=^.^=