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There's always another chance .....

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I've read some stories the last few weeks and was surprised how well they were written. That made me think about my own story and I wondered whether it could be improved. So I went back, re-read it, and found a little slip in the time line here, a word not used right there, and a misplaced image stopping the flow of the story. I went back once more, tried again, and re-posted it.
So you'll find now a story that has been tightened up, where some new ideas were added, and where the end has been changed and re-written. I believe that it is better now - what do you think? Any chance to review your avaliation?

 

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