I don't know if I've discussed this here before, but probably I have... Anyway, I'm an addict. What am I addicted to? Playing an online game.
That sounds like something I ought to be able to kick relatively easily... Right? Not really, so I've discovered. I've known for most of my life that I had issues with this area of my personality... When I was in the military and over seas I would take two dollars and buy a roll of nickles (leave any other cash and my checkbook in my locker) then walk to the all ranks club where I would play the slots as long as the nickles would last... Now the nickle slot was somewhat loose... to the point that could eat several hours if I never won big (500 or so coins... Then I would stop!) sometimes if it got to closing time (hey they had to close early all the people who used the club had to be at work early in the morning) I'd leave with no money, sometimes with just a bit more than I came with and rarely with a pocket full of bills. Occasionally I'd feel good and play the push line on the craps table at a dollar bet and pull that off every time I won... (start with no more than $10 using the same rules as I did for slots) anyway, this was a nearly nightly habit. It didn't keep me broke, but it didn't help! It also meant that I didn't do everything I should as a soldier.
Fast forward a few years, I'm not a heavy drinker, but like to have a couple after work. No problem right? I'm never really drunk, I'm not driving, etc, etc all the 'safe' things you're supposed to do to drink safely. But as my then SO told me one day just after I'd had about half my first beer: You're nasty and mean to the kids when you're drinking. Now if I'd been more sober I might have ignored that, and if I was more drunk I might have ignored that, but I was just lit enough for that to hit directly home. I poured out the rest of that beer and gave any other beer that I had in the house to a neighbor and told said neighbor that I would not take any more beer from them.
For a long time after than I wouldn't even have beer in the house! Not even when it might have been nice, like when I was working at roofing and could have used the occasional beer to make things just a bit easier after lumping shit around all day.
Fast forward to now, so I'm divorced (according to my SO my fault so not trying that again... Not even a 'committed relationship' [tried that too, SO there told me they left because reasons to do with me... I must be too broken to be in a relationship according to two people]) I can live without that sort of pain and drama in my life. So I bought a bit of beer to prove to myself that I had control over that... I do. I've had the same 12 pack in my fridge for 4 years...
But recall earlier I spoke of the reels on the slot machine being able to fascinate me and keep me away from what I should do as a soldier? Well online there are slots... I know to avoid those!!! But there are other non gambling games on the web. Some of those involve 'building' a 'world' whether that means Civilization or any of the knockoffs or farmville where you build a farm or trains... Well you get the picture. I started one of the farm games about 4 years ago... Was one farm enough? No! Two? No! Three? Barely...
And now I've sworn I'll quit 'farming', but I haven't managed it yet!