I posted the beginning of the next part of The Rise of Azkoval on the site this morning.
Posts will still be sporadic but I will try to let everyone know via this blog when chapters arrive.
On non-SOL topics, life is still hectic but we're starting to make strides.
My new granddaughter is a catharsis. The little girl has led a rough life. I've touched on some of it generically. But she is full of life and laughter and love.
Yes, she's only 5 and doesn't remember much of it. But she remembers enough and she is still happy. The members of my household have discovered they've lived a pretty charmed life in comparison (and I am included in the voyage of self-discovery).
My daughter and her husband succeeded in getting a new caseworker (and this one isn't a horse's ass) so it's been easier for everyone to see each other. The adoption should be finalized in the spring.
Even the newest member of the household is doing slightly better. She was almost pleasant for the entire time that family was around. My two older daughters made it a point to include her in things and my granddaughter took an immediate liking to her.
We offered her the opportunity to move to a different school -- the school where the boys go -- at the start of the second term. She agrees that it might be better to find new friends than to maintain the ones that led her (or followed her) into so much trouble.
Her father's health is deteriorating quickly and I will be surprised if he is still living in six weeks. He is in a care facility and she has been spending Saturdays there to visit.
I truly don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. My mother and I had a strained relationship for many years. I was a child of the 70s and 80s. She was a child of the 20s and 30s. We didn't see eye-to-eye on much when I was growing up.
Then I came home to take care of her when her health worsened. Now, almost 25 years later, I still miss her. I'm not sure I would if I hadn't spent so much time with her during the last months of her life.
My son spent Christmas with his mother at her parent's house. He wants her to move back to the state so he can live with her.
He was almost an "only child" at her house. He's one of three at ours. Plus, the amount of child support I paid meant no want was left unprovided.
His mother pays far less than I did -- for a reason I cannot understand -- and I'm not a believer in handing out things for no reason.
If he wants something, I expect him to work to earn it. If he wants something I don't think he should have, I simply tell him "no."
That's not a word he's heard a lot, I've come to understand. It baffles me because it was exactly opposite with my oldest daughter. Oh, to be sure, she had to earn her privileges but her mother was the hardass and I was the "easy mark."
But my ex-wife is happy out west -- and I am still not willing to give up on making this work. I told him we will take a fresh look at things in the summer but he was staying here until then. That went as well as you'd expect for a 14-year-old boy. But, tough shit. I'm still the dad and it's still my decision.
So, in the past six or seven weeks, we got one problem pretty well solved. Another problem is working itself out. I think the newest member has figured out that we're not going away. We're not going to push her off on a father who doesn't want her because we're more interested in feeding out vices.
We're not going to leave her to raise herself because we're more interested in furthering our careers or making more money.
We're a family that wants her to be a part of it. And we'll take the warts that come with her. We'll ask her opinion on things that affect her -- even if we decide on a different path. She knows that she's been heard and we've considered her thoughts.
I'll be frank: It's taken a lot more patience than I thought I had. My wife is an absolute saint and every single day I thank her first husband for being such an idiot to let her get away. The two children she brought into the marriage are amazing. They're just ducking and dodging right along with their mom and me, proving a moment of levity or of seriousness when it's needed.
We're slowly but steadily starting to see daylight.
Of course, it might be a train!
Jay C.
P.S.: I am remiss in not mentioning all the kind words I received from people on this site. We truly are a community here at SOL and I appreciate your support.