There was an old English proverb that my daddy was fond of quoting. It went something like this:
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I'd wear one by my side.
If if's and and's were pots and pans, there'd surely be dishes to do.
From the book of collected poetry by James Orchard Halliwell (1840)
I've had several emails asking for a general update, but being the private person that I am and experiencing what I am going through, I couldn't think of anything to say.
Thanks to all of you who have followed my torturous journey of recovery with your thoughts and prayers and WISHES for a speedy recovery. Please believe me when I tell you I want to write again just as badly as you want me to finish Book 4. (And wait until you see Book 5. I think it's pretty good, at least in my mind…)
For the most part, I am progressing nicely. I am growing stronger every day. However, I WISH every single day that they (the doctors) could do something about the meds.
I can be sitting there watching TV when I think I'll go to the kitchen to get something, but by the time I get there (a dozen steps or so) I can't remember what I went for. Or I will go to the grocery store and forget what I came for. (I have learned the value of making lists). And remembering the names of even simple items is a chore sometimes. Oh, it eventually will come to me, but I have to work for it.
We discussed this lack of concentration with my doctors, and one even did some testing, but they all finally agreed that it was caused by this Daedalean cocktail of medications that I take every day. (Most of them to keep my body from rejecting the experimental valve).
So while I read your emails, and empathize with your desire to have more of the story, I am unsure how to respond. I find myself WISHING every day that I could focus enough to write, but even this short note is pushing the boundary for me. And as for when I'll be able to write, well… hopefully when they reduce some of the medicine load. That's what I'm WISHING for.
My one-year follow-up is next week, and I'll be going back down to the hospital in Atlanta for a few days so they can run their myriad tests and really see how the old ticker is faring. I hope they will decide to lessen the med load so that I can focus better, but if I had to choose, I much prefer living with a lack of concentration, than not living at all.
Still, I do understand your desires for me to continue the story, and so my WISH for you is the patience that I also, am forced to endure at this time.
Best WISHES,
Phil