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But this time, I can tell it's my fault. I've started keeping copies of what I uploaded. Apologies to those who caught the error the second time and reported it. No, I did not do it on purpose.
In any case, two more chapters in this story, I hope you find where I've taken it to be interesting and believable. As much as any story with brain washing could be.
I've often commented how much I appreciated great feedback. Lots of good comments, suggestions, appropriate criticisms, etc. I've sometimes wondered how to get more people commenting and the answer is ...
Mess up.
I posted a chapter last night and when I reread it this morning, found an error which was worth trying to fix. So I quickly posted an updated chapter and sent it in before going to work.
Long day later, come home and find 30 mails all telling me I had chopped out a lot of story! Yikes. Sorry about that, fixed now I believe. Please give it another read.
After so much great feedback on my previous question about Descriptions of Women, I have to say thank you to all 17 people who responded. Several authors whose work I've read here went out of the way to give detailed examples and suggestions. Some of them kindly read my work and gave their thoughts. A lot of readers weighed in on what they thought was "just enough" and "too much". I'll think about trying to summarize the best of the suggestions so that others can benefit as well, but let me finish TMD first.
I had to fix a continuity problem in chapter 12 of the Master Downstairs, so please give the ending a re-read. I've also re-edited all the previous chapters to clean up some similar problems, but am giving it a day or two before I reread them again and then repost. I now have the rest of the story plotted out to a conclusion. Should be about 6 or 7 more chapters, but they're going to take more time than what I was able to write last week. It's back to the job again which slows things down.
Your feedback and comments are incredibly helpful. I've put in a few things specifically based on questions from the readers. Please keep it coming as well as voting.
When I get anonymous feedback that's useful and I can't reply, I'll start the conversation by putting it into a blog post and seeing if others agree or disagree. Today, Anonymous wrote
"The Master Downstairs would be a fantastic story
if you described the women:- hair colour/length,
eye colour, body shape, height, etc."
It's good useful feedback, and I'll start by saying how much I appreciate it. As a long time reader here, this writing thing is a lot harder than it looks on tv.
One of my favorite all time authors is Deidre over at ASSTR. She only wrote for a short time a long time ago, but wow did she pack a lot in. Her style is pretty minimal, and what I noticed when I reread all of them before putting this down on virtual paper was - she never actually describes the people. I know what I THINK each of them look like, but she never told us. The reader fills in the blanks with people they are reminded of, or wish they were. I'll admit, I decided to do that here as well, though otherwise didn't try to write like her. You'll note that I've tried hard not to give the protagonist a name either.
Having said all of this, I've been going through and fixing problems in the story, and I think adding SOME descriptions would probably help. It will not be a paragraph long fact sheet about each one though.
Thoughts?
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