Phil Brown: Blog

Thanks to those of you who nominated my story for a Clitorides Award. I am honored beyond belief.

Unfortunately, I am still struggling with some heart issues, including a pair of heart caths and an additional stent since the first of the year.

For those of you who asked, I fully intend to finish STT Book IV someday, as well as The Gates of Erebus which I had started before Christmas.

Thanks for your notes and concerns. Everything is looking up, but the journey is slow.

Phil

With all the e-mails asking about my health, I thought I'd take a moment to post an update.

I'm fine.

What I'm sure both of them really wanted to know was… when I was going to get off my ass and post some more stories. Well, I won't lie and tell you the last two months have been a piece of cake, but I really am improving a little bit every day. Enough so that, for most of the last month, I have been reading.

I know. That doesn't sound like all that much to you young whippersnappers out there, but if you live to my advanced age, you'll discover that between the meds and the surgeries and just living life every day that the days you can focus enough to be able to read are very good days indeed.

And on the days when you discover a jewel like Shrink42's "Corona Heights" it makes you so giddy you want to go out and get drunk. Or get laid. Or spend some time just remembering what it was like to be able to.

"But you had already read that story, Phil. We saw it in your list of favorites," you might say.

"True, but senility is not without its moments," would be my reply. However, you are correct. I probably should have said "…when you re-discover a jewel like Shrink42's 'Corona Heights'."

But whether you're discovering it for the first time or re-discovering it, you'll enjoy the way Shrink weaves the various character's lives together into a wild and erotic urban tale. I was so fascinated by his story that I actually called and set an appointment for admission. I'm on for the 8th of next month. I plan to use Shrink42 as a reference and if you ask, I'm sure he'll give you a good one too.

I have also received several emails (okay… it was the same two guys) who wanted to know when I was going to start writing again.

Truthfully that has been a bigger challenge than I expected. Did you know that it can take up to six months for all the drugs from the surgery to leave your system?

Anyway… I have finally started writing again. I'm slower than before, but I'm eternally optimistic that I will get back to speed someday.

It's a new story and I just sent the first three chapters to my editors. So if they still remember who I am after all this time. And if they haven't won the Mega-Millions Jackpot and taken off on a round-the-world-cruise on the MS World, (check it out. It's way cool!) and if they still want to edit for me, (remember, they don't get any compensation either). Then, I hope to start posting it soon.

Just so you know, it's called:

"The Gates of Erebus"

by Phil Brown

Dr. Jake Sanders was a process systems engineer, specializing in the digital modulation units manufactured in his Tampa based facility and installed in military and scientific research vessels worldwide.

Little did he know, when he was called to examine one of his units that had been tampered with onboard a lost research vessel, that it would take all of his special skills and more if Jake was to survive the new world he was about to discover. A world he can never return from.

Unless he can figure out how to unlock... The Gates of Erebus

Seriously, I want to thank everyone for your continued care and concern. Because you're so great, here's a little excerpt:

"First time on the bridge?" she asked. There was a bemused smile on her face as he nodded without losing that silly grin. Mikayla could remember the excitement of her first time on the bridge of a ship. In truth, it hadn't been that long ago.

"Yeah!" he said, the excitement obvious in his reply.

"Now," she said exhaling slowly, trying to help him relax. "Why don't you tell me why we're stealing a valuable piece of NOAA property, and how you were able to get the engines started. Then we can work on where you think you're going to go with a stolen ship that half of the world's navies will be tracking by sunrise!"

"One, we're not stealing it. It's kidnapping us. Two, I used my heart. And three, I have no idea where she's taking us," Jake explained calmly.


Have a wonderful holiday season,

Phil

Just a quick update for the curious. Thanks for taking your time to write me. I appreciate the support and words of encouragement.

This morning is one of the "better" mornings, because now days, some are better than others. However, even though I don't feel like it, I am getting better, a little every day. While I almost didn't make it (I discovered it was a fifty/fifty proposition for about ten days there) I will get better.

Maybe not back to perfect, But I am slowly recovering.

As for Book IV and Book V, I have them outlined, and had started Book IV before the heart attack. Book IV will be about finding the codex, which will lead to the next quest (for Book V) the quest for the Armor. (I could tell you where it is, but that would spoil both books).

It will also have Michael going to Tapato, dealing with busybody Indian agents, and possibly a new antagonist near the end. He'll also be dealing with the new girls that have come into his life in book three.

Because I cannot string together two coherent thoughts for very long, (they say it will take 90+ days for the meds to leave my system) I don't know when I'll actually start writing again. However, I have been able to answer a few emails lately and have started reading again, albeit very slowly, which is frustrating. Especially when I find a really good story. And don't you know I'd find one when I really didn't want to and now I can't put it down.

The story I'm on now (up to chapter 61, so far) is called Daze in the Valley, by Jay Cantrell and it is great! If I could ever understand how SoL's ridicules review system worked, I would definitely write a review for this one. But I could never understand it BEFORE the heart attack, so it's probably a lost cause.

However, the story is worth the time it takes to read, even if you're a slow reader like I am these days. (And if you do read it and like it, be sure to drop Jay a line and tell him so. Praise and appreciation are his only compensation for his efforts)

Once more, thanks for all the notes and well-wishes,

Phil

That my life has changed since we last spoke is a vast understatement. When I posted my last blog entry, I was in ICCU, three days after my heart attack, thinking that the worst was over. And as they say, ignorance is bliss.

Little did I know that while I waxed lyrically about the stent and the groin shave, the staff was fighting to keep me alive with some revolutionary new procedures, while trying to determine if and when I would be strong enough to endure the multiple bypass surgeries still to come.

Over the next few days, I discovered that I was one of the first patients this world-renown heart center had ever tried this new-fangled auxiliary pump on. I will tell you that it was like being on a stage as dozens of noted professionals, as well as interns and RN's came by to see this new gizmo in action.

At one point, which seemed to me at the time, to be in the middle of the night, there was actually a group of Facility Engineers gathered around my bed as they ooh'ed and aah'ed over the apparatus. And I heard the doctor's explanation of the pump to visiting dignitaries so often, you'd think I could write it here. But, alas, I cannot remember it today.

Needless to say, their efforts proved successful, and I am at least able to tell you about it today.

One interesting sidebar is that in the midst of everything else going on, I discovered the topic for one of my next stories. It's called "ICU (Intensive Care Unit) Psychosis".

ICU Psychosis is a generic term for the loss of contact with reality while in ICU. And while I had never heard of it before my ordeal; after my own personal experiences last week, I have begun to research it.

Supposedly, people with ICU Psychosis are given to suffering hallucinations and/or delusions, violence, and impaired insight. I won't bore you with my own frightening experiences today as they are still raw and painful. However, if this is something with which you are familiar and would like to share your experiences or expertise, please drop me an e-mail.

Thanks again for all the notes of encouragement and well-wishes. They tell me that the road to recovery is long and hard, but doable. For the moment, I hope you'll forgive my limited replies to your specific questions concerning STT. They also tell me that the surgical drugs should wear off soon, and that I'll be able to string together more than two sentences at a time. Hopefully, that means I'll be able to get back to writing soon. Please be patient with me.

Phil

I'll probably never have a heart attack… because I'm too young. …because I'm too good looking (okay, maybe I didn't really believe that one.) … because I'm in pretty good health. …because I can't afford it (afford the time or afford the money, all us guys believe that we can't afford a heart attack).

And IF I ever have a heart attack, by then, they'll have some sort of cure so that they can just zap me with an alien health ray, Right?

WRONG!

Unfortunately for me, when I woke up Thursday morning, I did not know any of the heart attack warning signs, except for something about sore arms, and I couldn't think clearly enough at the time, to decide if the pain that radiated throughout my whole body constituted sore arms. I vaguely remember wondering if I should take an aspirin, but then, I couldn't find one and the pain made it too hard to keep looking.

I didn't want to call 911 or call someone to take me to the hospital. My most predominant thought was what "they" would say if I went to a hospital and it WASN'T a heart attack. I'd never be able to live with the humiliation!

And that little piece of stupid logic almost killed me. I had called my little sister next door to ask about some aspirin. She took one look at me and ordered me into her car. She said I was 'gray'. I didn't argue. I couldn't. I was hurting too bad. But she could tell I was hesitating.

For guys, the fear of being embarrassed is acute. However, at that moment, my body was racked with another wave of pain, so I gave in.

Fortunately, for me, the hospital emergency staff knew exactly what to do.

I think it's been about four days now, and honestly, I'm glad I don't remember all of it. However, even with all the drugs they were pumping into me, I was somehow aware of the expert level of care I have been receiving.

Speaking of horror stories, and this is a true fact; Did you know that they DO NOT put you to sleep when they put a "stint" in your heart to open up a blocked artery? Talk about spooky! When I realized they were not knocking me out, I almost panicked! Then, when they started shaving my groin area, I really became unglued!

I kept trying to tell them that my heart was higher up. If I was a fiction writer, I would have described the evil gleam in the nurse's eyes as she replied, "We know, Mr. Brown. We know!"

Talk about scared!

Well, said nurse just came in to check my vitals… I'll fill you in more if I survive.

Phil Brown