Kenn Ghannon: Blog

I just read 'Sally's Birthday' by Just Plain Bob (a virtual legend in CW stories). This story is about a man who suffered a tragedy in the Gulf War and has intermittent erectile dysfunction; at first, he'll go 8 to 10 months fine and then suddenly be unable to perform for 3 to 4 months. At the time of the story, it's been 14 months seen he's been able to perform.

His wife, obviously, cheats on him. She's very upfront about it; they go to a bar, she dances with three guys and tells her husband she's going home with them...and does them in the car in the parking lot, one at a time.

I found myself feeling for the wife. If there comes a time when I can't perform and my wife can, I'm hoping that I can be a big enough man and love my wife enough to let her do what she needs to do. Now, the 3 or 4 months without I don't think qualify -- obviously, there are toys for situations like that -- and also, it doesn't say if the guy was willing to be with her without coitus but I think that it is unreasonable to make her go over a year without.

Am I being unreasonable??

I sat here a bit wondering what made me like cheating wives stories so much. I mean, what was the appeal? There was rarely any good sex scenes in them. They were about betrayal and revenge. I certainly don't have those problems in my marriage...so why did I like reading them.

That got me to thinking. My brother-in-law married the wrong woman (but no, to the best of my knowledge, she didn't cheat). He had two wonderful kids...but he and his wife actively HATED each other. The problem was, he was a factory worker and didn't make much money...so a divorce would ruin him (and did, when she finally filed). When she finally filed for divorce, the courts KILLED him. He's getting up there in years and I don't think will ever comfortably retire because he just can't afford it.

The system is not fair...and there are two things wrong with it. First, in our haste to make divorce easier (through 'no fault') we no longer take the actions of the parties into account. Why should my life be ruined because my wife cheated? Why should my wife's life be ruined if I cheat? It's cookie cutter divorce and I think that EACH divorce should be examined carefully before assets are divided, visitation rights are granted and so on.

Second, the books are stacked completely in the woman's favor. This was NOT a bad thing years ago when women's contribution to the work force was so little. Now, with many women in the workforce, the books need to be evened out a bit.

I think it is this unfairness that leads me (and maybe others) to read the cheating wives stories. We're able, vicariously, to get revenge through them (and, honestly, I really like a good revenge story/movie/etc. I really like when the 'bad guy' gets his comeuppance...but I don't like the cheating husbands stories as much).

Anyway, it's just a thought...

I think I've spoken in my blog before about the "Mirror Darkley" science/fantasy story I'm writing. I've been struggling a bit lately and what I've found is that taking a break and working (BRIEFLY) on another story allows the story to coagulate a bit and I can then move on. Another method is to read other stories and let my mind wander. Yesterday, I blogged that I was currently into cheating wife stories but lamented that I couldn't think of a viable reason why a wife would even bother fighting for the marriage if she's caught.

Thanks to someone who actually reads the blog (honestly, I didn't think anyone did!) he came up with a list of 9 reasons.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

I've decided that, over time (in other words, no telling when I'll start or finish any of these) I'm going to write a story for each of the following reasons that a wife would fight for a marriage after cheating:
Social Status
Financial
Children
Her family's reaction
the affair was purely sexual, not emotional
Religious objection to divorce
needing husband's medical insurance
Absent Pregnancy (Father runs/disappears)
Stupidity (talked into it by other women)

Thanks to the person who 'donated' the list (who will currently remain anonymous since I didn't ask if I could mention his name).

Wish me luck. :)

For a bit now, I've been fascinated by cheating wife stories. I don't know why. I have a very good relationship with my wife and I'm certain my wife doesn't cheat on me (of course, the husband is always the last to know, but...). I even started writing my own cheating wife stories...until I ran into a problem.

If a woman is going to cheat on you, it means the love and respect are already gone. So, what does it matter what you do to them...if you divorce, they're free of you and free to have sex with their lovers anyway. There just doesn't seem to be any downside for them...so, I'm putting off writing a story I have in my hopper until I can think of a reason why a cheating wife would even bother fighting for the marriage...

Chapter 7 of the First Mirror Darkley book is giving me no end of trouble. First, I've had some minor, cheesy medical issues to deal with which have been taking up more of my time than I'd like -- and the medical problems have come complete with pain pills which, I've found, are NOT conducive to writing that turns out to be legible. Go Figure.

Beyond that, I've also been doing some reading -- currently of Phil Brown's "Second Time Through" series (book 2 still in progress). I have to say, I've enjoyed it far more than I thought I would though I find some of it a bit far-fetched -- but then, that's why they call it Science Fiction. The great thing about Mr. Brown's story is that it's character development is incredible -- he manages to maintain boundaries of his characters that make them individuals. For example, he wrote a few sections where he didn't bother to name the character interacting with Michael (the main character) and just from the dialog and descriptions you could easily tell who it was. Masterful and I highly recommend it.

Reading his story did put a quick story idea in my hopper...but I've got about 100 stories just lounging around in there, so...maybe I'll get to it.

As for Chapter 7, I think I need to just muddle through and force myself to write it...then come back and edit the crap out of it until I'm satisfied. The primary difficulty here is keeping it believable (within the realms of the Universes I've created). Sigh. Here goes nothing...