Carlos Malenkov: Stories

A summer job washing dishes at a diner exposes a recent high school grad to all sorts of new experiences, such as an older woman revealing to him the mysteries...

He's the new kid in town, and he has an infallible gimmick for picking up women. Or so he thinks.

Those pheromone concoctions -- do they really work? Do they really attract women? And if they do, what then?

Casimir wants nothing so much as a relationship with a woman. The problem is that all of his sexual experience so far has been with men. Then he sees an interesting personal ad in the paper. The woman implies that she's looking for anal sex. Now THAT Casimir knows a few things about. But there could be trouble ahead...

Mr. Anderson had never seen his wife in the altogether. Then he learns the naked truth.

Big city, bright lights. Beautiful women waiting for you to warm their beds. Yeah, sure.

Sure, you can beat the odds and make big money gambling. Poker, the state lottery, you name it. But, how? Anal sex. Anal sex? But, that's crazy! Yes, it's crazy, but it works. Of course, there's a catch...
This story features cameo appearances from Alexxia, also seen in "Twenty-five Words or Less" and "You're a Big Girl Now"... and Mick, seen in "Agendas," "The Seven Year Itch," "Fit to Print," "New Kid in Town," and others.

It was only a statuette, but it was an anatomically correct replica of a long-lost girlfriend. And why was it haunting his dreams?

Too fat, too ugly, too... Is there any hope at all for people whose looks don't meet the expectations of pop culture?

Who's the hunter, and who's the prey? A deadly game on the New York City subway. This story was nominated for a "Golden Clit" award in July, 2004.