Chapter 14

ANNA

Friday was better and worse. Fear and worry had turned into restless anticipation. I couldn't wait to see John but the hours dragged on and on. I swear I was ready to flip my desk over and set fire to the place by the time 5pm came around. As soon as I got home, I started getting ready. Shower, shave, I must've brushed my hair 300 times. I picked out my outfit a few times, before finally settling on a nice navy skirt (with panties this time, shit I still needed to get my dress clean I realized), and a bone white blouse. Stocking and heels. Then I power-fidgeted through my apartment generally making things cleaner. I made my bed and straightened my room, and I was on the stoop by 6:45. If I thought my workday went slowly, that last 15 minutes took years to pass.

When John stepped out of the cab I was already moving. I couldn't help it. I need to feel his arms around me. It was a compulsion. Luckily, he was ready and didn't drop me. I'm also lucky I didn't tear my skirt to shreds when I threw my legs around him. God he's a big man. Flashes of that pillar, and of oak trees crashed through my mind as I reveled in his scent.

I mumbled something about how happy I was to see him, carefully using Jonathon, instead of what I wanted to say. As much as I hoped for, I wasn't ready to abandon our fiction no matter how thin in case he didn't feel the same way. He corrected me immediately, and I lost it. I was so relieved and so happy my stupid eyes starting crying again. Sometimes I hate being a girl. But he set that right too, and all my stress and worry seemed to float away. I was so excited. I had no idea what we were going to do, and to be honest, didn't care. I was with John and that was enough. Almost enough. Sometime during the week, I'd finally accepted that yes, I was in love with him, and had been forever. Which led to the realization that, at some point, if I was very very lucky, I'd be able to fuck him. And as soon as I realized that, I had a hard time thinking of anything else.

I hadn't seen him naked since we were kids, and I was overcome with curiosity about what he was like under all those stupid clothes. I knew he was solid, and strong. Was he hairy? Was he big? His girlfriends had all spoken glowingly of his prowess, and that he was 'plenty big enough' down there. But I wanted to see it. I wanted to touch it, taste it. I wanted it inside of me most of all, and with a flash all of my hornyness was back with a vengeance. A small part of me had worried that it would be weird. Too much like incest or something, until I remembered how it felt when he'd smelled my hair. John wasn't like my brother. He was closer than my family, and different. And I wanted him in the worst way.

Which translated into manic babble in the back of the cab. With my anxiety replaced by lust, I couldn't stop talking, until without saying a word he shut me down. It was gentle, and patient, but it was a command, of that there was no doubt. And it worked. It stilled me, and I didn't say a word the rest of the cab ride. My mind was buzzing, working on what he'd said. That we needed to talk (ominous, but his tone of voice didn't sound ominous) and this wasn't the place. Yeah, that made sense. Cabs aren't really the place for serious conversation, but I hadn't even really noticed the driver anyway. All my focus was on John. So I grabbed his hand, and then found that I felt better the more I leaned up against him, so by the time we got to the restaurant, I had plastered myself to his side and was in a little trance just feeling his solidness and drinking in his lovely woodsy scent. I felt warm all over, and very comfortable. I might've even fallen asleep.

The Maitre'd showed us to the booth, and John opened a menu briefly. I was still a little loopy from the cab ride and reached for a menu, but John gently shook his head. I stopped, and raised an eyebrow at him. This was going to be fun. He was quiet, and I was determined to not break so I stayed silent myself. Finally the waiter arrived, and John ordered a suite of appetizers and tasting of the main course dishes, along with a nice bottle of wine. Then he put a $20 on the table and said we didn't wish to be disturbed. The waiter faltered for a moment, then swept up the cash and vanished with a smile. Then John turned his full attention on me. It felt like the heat of the sun, and he began to speak.