My mom is so hot!
(How hot is she?)
Wild red hair, cute turned-up nose, bedroom blue eyes and legs that just go on and on.
From snooping in her room, I have found out she wears 38E brassieres.
She's five'10 in flat shoes, over six feet tall in heels.
I know that sounds tall, but my dad is six foot five, and I'm six foot one.
I don't know where my sister got her genes from; she is also very pretty and five foot five! She has red hair too!
I'm Martin, 25 and through college. I work for my dad.
My sister is 22; her name is Cici, her nickname with a full name of Cecilia.
"Honest Abe" Carnahan is what my father is known as. He sells cars for a living, actually owning the Dodge dealership in town.
I'm in training, but I have a very lucrative job developing websites. I'll make a very simple one for free, and then quote them a price, so they can have all the bells and whistles added. All told I had developed almost 300 websites, making a nice regular income.
Honest Abe, however, wants me to follow him in the car sales business. I help them on weekends telling him I'm too busy supporting my 300 paying customers during the week.
He doesn't really understand what I do, and that's okay. I made him a totally free website, and he tells me people from all over see the website and come in to look for both used and new cars.
My mother, more so than my sister, wears clothes to get attention. Her name is Cassandra, but tells everyone to call her Cassie. Dad insists she brings him lunch every day, so she can help sell cars just by flashing her million-dollar smile.
Cici tries to tell her that it's very sexist of daddy, but I guess my mom is a bit of an exhibitionist.
She knows I look at her sometimes ... It doesn't seem to bother her. Most of the blouses and tops that she wears are rather tight.
Neither dad nor I really mind that much. He knows I look at her too.
He came home yelling, "Cici, come down to the kitchen please?"
"What is it daddy?"
"You know that car show I go to every year in Las Vegas? The one you have always asked to go to? This year I thought I'd take you with me ... Is that all right with you Cassie?" he asked mom.
"Not a problem dear. Martin and I can find things to do. Will you be going for the whole week again?"
"If that's all right?"
"You don't have to ask me honey, you know how much I support you!"
"Martin," he turned and said. "Whatever your mother asks of you ... do it without question! You hear me?
"Yes sir. Do you want me to go into work for you?"
"No, I've got Bob Fleming to cover. Protect your mother while I'm gone. Can't let anything happen to the lady who really runs this place!"
Dad is smarter than I give him credit for sometimes.
"Everybody wash-up. Dinner will be ready in five minutes," my mother said. "Martin, you can wash your hands in the sink. You won't have to sit around all day while he's gone. You can go out with some friends if you'd like, or even have somebody over."
"Now why would I do that? I have the hottest woman in town as my mother. Why would I want to be around anyone else, but her?"
"Tone it down a little please honey ... Dry your hands and set the table please?"
"Sure thing beautiful!"
"How long has it been since you've been on a date?"
"Why bring that up?"
"Well ... you are hitting on your mother."
Grabbing the plates and silverware, I said "Why go out looking for fives and sixes when I've got a 10 at home?"
"Please stop that already!"
"Stop what?" Dad said entering the kitchen.
"Oh nothing dear. I was just telling our son, he needs to replace the last girlfriend he had."
"Why should he do that? He has got such a hot mom!"
"You boys," she said with a grin.
"What about the boys?" Cici asked sitting down at the table.
"Oh, your brother and father were just being men."
"What else would they be?" my sister said with a giggle.
"Yeah," I said, "What else would I be?"
I got up to help mom bring the food the table, then we all set and dad said a prayer.
After dinner, dad pulled me alone for a moment.
"Martin, in all seriousness ... look out for your mother while your sister, and I are gone. I love her as much as you do."
"As a matter of fact, let's make a wager?"
Dad and I have been making wagers about this or that since I was 16. They were usually small amounts, sometimes very silly. When we were all younger on a family drive, he wagered we would see more Toyotas than Honda's. Cici and I kept track of the Hondas while mom and dad looked out for any kind of Toyota.
After time was called, we had 36 Honda's; they had 28 Toyota's. We had eight more than they had, so we got $10 for each, splitting it between us. We knew it was a game, but I had never turned him down yet when he said those four words.
"What kind of wager are you thinking of dad?"
"Well ... you think your mother is hot, correct?"
"It's OK, I had the hots for my mom too. Here is the gentleman's bet."
I suddenly got very nervous.
"I remember how I caught you kissing a couple of your girlfriends in your room. Let's say if you can give your mother an amorous kiss, by that I mean with tongue, I will give you $500 cash."
"Dad, that sounds like entrapment to me," I said.
"That's how sure I am that it won't happen Martin. I say she is a one-man woman ... me!"
"Gees dad. You don't need me to take a picture or a video to prove it?"
"No! I trust you either way," he said. "She can't know you and I have made the bet, not even after nothing happens between you."
"Sir," I said. "I am known for being a very good kisser. My girlfriends will all attest to that. What if I do kiss her, and she wants to do more than kiss?"
"Then, I would need photographic proof. If that were to happen, the wager would be for $10,000."
"I don't have the money for that kind of bet dad," I said.
"If you don't ... when you don't succeed, you have to start working for me four hours a day every day for four months. Have we got a deal?"
Even though the nature of this wager is so blatantly ... wrong, I took his hand and said, "Shake."
We did our crazy shake dance that I started many years ago. We act like we are getting electrocuted while we are simply gripping each other's hand.
Cici walked in. "Haven't you boys grown up yet?"
"Never," we said together.
The wager was in place!