Test Drive
Chapter 1

I left my 36 Dodge humpback sedan delivery with one of the big name Southern California rod shops. I hadn't done much more with it, other than paying their bills, since. Hadn't really done much of anything else this past year, except living out of a suitcase, and trying to manage the hostile takeover of one of our former suppliers.

On my last trip to the coast, I was able to pull my nose off the grindstone long enough to stop at the shop. I was shocked! Little or no progress had been made, the body had new dents and scratches, and some of the priceless trim and guages were missing. I was thoroughly pissed, and left no ass unreamed when I left.

It took nearly an act of congress to get a call through to my old room mate. Bill Monty. Attorny at law.

"Hey, you bristle-faced dwarf, have they found out how you cheated on the bar exam yet?"

"Not yet! Are you still struggling to keep the smoke in the wires?"

"No, I manage the strugglers now. Say, can I throw some work your way, something to help feed your wife and my kids?"

"Sorry. Can't do it."

"You mean they've finally disbarred your scrawny ass?"

'Hell no! Sorry dumbass. I can't take YOUR case."

"Why the Hell not?"

"I really am sorry Bob. I'm representing Kathleen."

"Representing her in what?"

"Shit, Dude. You know I specialize in divorce law."

--oOo--

The meetings ran into overtime, but I got the deal done, and signatures in all the right places. It meant millions to the company, hundreds of thousands to me, jobs for hundreds. All of a sudden all of that didn't mean much. I was two days late getting home. Kathleen and a bottle of wine were waiting in the kitchen.

"When were you going to tell me?" I asked.

"This morning. I had the kids in town. We were all going to discuss things after brunch."

"That sounds like a Kathleen plan. Who's the guy?"

"What guy?"

She was staring at me, poker faced, expressionless, giving nothing away.

"Since I've known you Kathleen, twenty fucking years, your favorite expression has been "Don't step out of the boat till its tied to the dock"." "Who's dock have you tied up to?"

Her mask started to crack. Her eyes grew moist. "You know him. Randy Jordan."

"Yeah, I know him. Big man on campus in our college days. Old money. Fraternity president. Smooth operator with a horse cock, and God's gift to women. He was sniffing around you before we were married, on up to graduation. Guess he finally nailed you?"

She glared. "I WOULD NEVER..."

"BULLSHIT Kathleen. Your second favorite expression is: "Don't buy the car without taking a test drive." How many test drives have there been?"

She was sniffling now. She couldn't meet my eyes. "Maybe a half dozen."

"Just six applicants, or six guys in our bed?"

The stem of her wineglass snapped. "NO! I was never like that! You were gone and I was alone and Randy was always there and it just happened. You know me Bob."

"Kathleen, I thought I knew you, but I don't know who the Hell you've become."

"I wasn't looking for it, it just happened."

"Happened again and again and again. Kathleen, I know the kids think they're full grown, but, were you really going to expose them to this discussion, or were you just going to hide behind them?"

Her chair crashed to the floor as she stood, sobbing, and fled the room. I stood too, as if to chase her. I froze. I didn't, I don't, know what to do. I sat for hours, but she didn't return.