Chapter 9

(1954)

I awoke early in the morning feeling gloriously relaxed and with the still sleeping warm body of Jenny snuggled in next to me, her arm draped over my chest. We had made love for hours the previous evening, relieving tensions and growing ever closer in friendship and intimacy. Jenny finally confessed, as had I, that even if Tom recovered she'd still want to hold onto the love we now clearly felt for each other. Yes, there was still guilt and fear of the future should our relationship ever get out, but overriding it was the desire to simply enjoy intimacy with each other as and when we could. That's not to say we were in love with each other, simply that our friendship had a sexual context to it.

<Ben's note: This is the only clear notation in the diaries where Alan ever expresses in words his relationship with my Grandmother. Everything else written is merely my slant on what I think is going on. The diaries themselves merely described what they did; it's only in the letters that how they felt was ever discussed. Nor do the diaries give many other clues as to their lifestyle at the time. 50's adult societies were mostly smokers, though this is not mentioned once in the diaries. Their political views tended to be black or white and they were very patriotic and outwardly morally repressed. Again though there is no glimpse into how they felt, other than the odd note on a conversation that they, occasionally (it seems), had. As in many diaries of the time, much is taken for granted in the everyday life of the writers and it's only the extraordinary that gets a mention. There's not even a mention as to how or where Alan or Tony had the time to write a diary.>

Jenny finally stirred and snuggled in closer giving me a soft kiss.

"I'd better be going before we get our alarm call," she giggled, briefly glancing at my bedside clock.

"Indeed, though such a pity," I chuckled as I gently caressed her back.

"Mmmm, I look forward to our next time with some anticipation," she said as she slipped out of bed and pulled on her robe.

"As do I, dear one, as do I," I replied.

I pulled on my own robe and went to the bathroom to wash, shave and see to my other needs before dressing and going downstairs to find Mrs Harris opening curtains and checking that everything was in order before waking the family.

"Good morning, Mrs Harris," I greeted her.

"Good morning, sir. Everything is in order and breakfast will be in about three quarters of an hour," she replied.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, knowing that she'd had to spend the night at the Manor.

"Yes, sir. The bed is most comfortable. Had I known, I would not have been so reticent as to volunteer in the past," she said, eyeing me speculatively.

"Well, bear it in mind if Rosemary needs to keep a closer eye on her sister," I replied, wondering what her look meant before shrugging it off as she'd never tell me if I asked anyway. Probably it was to do with the goings on in the house, of which she probably knew more than she would admit, although I did trust her to not gossip.

"Indeed I will, sir," she said as I left the room to find a smiling and cheerful Abi coming down the stairs.

"Good morning, Uncle Alan," she greeted me.

"Good morning, Abi. You look quite lovely today," I replied, noticing she had pulled her hair back into a ponytail perched very high up on her head and tied with a red ribbon.

"Thank you, Uncle Alan," she replied beaming at me, giving a twirl and letting it swing out behind her, also allowing her skirt to flare outwards too.

"You look very grown up," I said. "It suits you."

Abi said nothing, simply ran up to me and gave me a tight hug, which I returned with pleasure.

"Ready for our walk?" I said eventually.

"Yes, Uncle Alan," she replied and we left to go and get my Saturday paper.

Carefully checking the hallway before leaving the spare room, Jenny darted into her own room and grabbed her wash-bag and headed into the main bathroom, greeting Abi as she scurried out from her own ablutions. Using a flannel she carefully washed away the dried on evidence of her and Alan's passionate lovemaking, enjoying the rough feel of the flannel on her most intimate parts. The thought uppermost in her mind was would she or indeed could she allow her son certain liberties with her body. It wasn't as if Alan was not providing enough relief for her these days that taking Tony into herself was necessary, though honesty prevailed upon her to add that it was certainly tempting.

'I'll make the decision as and when I need to, ' she thought, knowing fine well that by the time such a decision was necessary, it would probably be too late.

Once out she headed downstairs to check on Tom, getting a surprised look from Mrs Harris at the foot of the stairs.

'She knows, ' Jenny thought. 'But she doesn't know how I got from one wing to the other, which has her confused.'

"Good morning, Mrs Harris. How are you today?" Jenny greeted her.

"I'm well, ma'am," Mrs Harris returned. "How are you? Your bed was not slept in."

"I spent some of the night beside my husband," Jenny replied. "It probably won't happen tonight though."

"Of course, ma'am. That's good to know. I would have hated to disturb you," Mrs Harris replied to the unasked question, serenely knowing her master would not be disturbed tonight ... well not by Jenny at least.

Jenny went into Tom's room knowing that Mrs Harris at least was on her side and would perhaps seek an accommodation with Alan herself, should her nerve not fail her.

<Ben's note: There is no evidence other than a few cryptic clues in the diaries that Alan was involved with some of his staff from the time of the family arriving. However, I suspect he eventually was with both Edith Harris and indeed Janet Ellis ... at least.>

Tom was still slumbering and seemed likely to remain so for a while as Jenny checked to make sure he hadn't had any 'accidents' through the night. Just the sight of his still inflamed wounds was enough to make her sigh in anguish over the loss of his intimacy with her, no matter the way she'd chosen to get around the problem.

'Enough, no more crying over spilt milk, ' she mentally sighed and left her slumbering husband to go to her room to get dressed for breakfast.

She immediately ran into Tony who was just coming out of the bathroom having done his ablutions.

"Good morning, Mother," he said sunnily.

"Good morning, Tony. Swimming today?" Jenny asked.

"Yes please, Mother. If that's all right with you?" he queried.

"Yes, although I don't expect Alan to allow us the keys to the motor boat, so you'll be rowing me across," Jenny said.

"Yes, Mother," he replied before heading downstairs where the smell of fried bacon was permeating the hall.

Alan and Abi walked companionably down to the village, hand in hand.

"You know when I grow up?" Abi asked.

"Yes dear?" I enquired.

"Well, it's to do with having babies," she said.

"What about having babies?" I asked.

"Rather to do with avoiding having babies," Abi giggled.

"Don't let a man make love to you is the best way," I chuckled, knowing where this conversation was going.

"Yes, but I enjoy the feeling too much," she giggled.

"Ah," I replied.

"So when would I be safe?" she asked.

"I don't know, but I'll find out for you," I replied.

"Thank you. Are there other ways?" she continued.

"Yes, you can get the man to use a condom or French letter as it's also known," I said. "It's a sheath that goes over the man's penis to catch his seed so it doesn't fertilise you."

"Does it feel as good?" she asked.

"No, but it's better than nothing," I chuckled.

"Ah," she murmured, clearly thinking about it.

"The other thing that can happen is a man will promise to pull out before he spends. That however is very, very risky as in the heat of the moment he might forget, or have lied or simply be too slow," I said.

"I see," said Abi.

"Just remember, you're the one who gets pregnant," I said as we came into the village.

"I know, thank you, Uncle Alan," Abi said giving me a hug.

As coincidence would have it, we ran into Pamela as she was leaving the village shop and after saying our hello's I broached the subject of Abi's questions with her.

"You're a little young, Abi," Pamela began with a smile.

"I know, but Mother spoke to me about men and boys the other day and I got curious," Abi replied.

"Ah, 'that' talk," said Pamela as I left the two of them to go into the shop and get my newspaper as well as the magazines I'd ordered for Jenny.

Back outside both Pamela and Abi followed me back up to the Manor talking animatedly about the female reproductive cycle.

"Would you care to join us for breakfast, Pamela?" I asked when I could get a word in edgeways.

"Thank you Alan, that's very kind of you," she replied with a brilliant smile. "Henry won't rise until after ten on a Saturday."

When we arrived at the Manor a delighted Jenny hugged Pamela as we went into the dining room.

"Oh, it's so lovely to see you. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye the other day," Jenny said.

"Sadly work called and I needed to make sure Henry had risen to face the new day," said Pamela with her usual gentle smile.

We all chatted merrily through breakfast, although Abi and Pam had changed the subject from their previous chat.

"I was thinking of holding an end of summer dance in about a week or so," I finally announced.

"Oh, that's a good idea, Alan," said Pamela. "The old Lord used to hold one and invited all the village worthies and staff to attend and we danced the night away."

"Well, it may not be up to London's standards, but I will hire a band and make sure there's catering laid on, perhaps a marquee on the lawn," I mused.

"Oh, it will be lovely to dance again," said Jenny, who then subsided a little when she looked at her husband.

"It's all right, my love. It sounds like a good idea and I'm sure Alan will squire you around the dance floor," said Tom with an encouraging smile.

"Would be my pleasure," I replied.

"Thank you, Alan. Although I suspect you'll have your pick of partners on the day as well as the evening," Jenny said with a smile.

"Well, it will do my old ego the world of good," I chuckled.

"Well, I for one will insist on at least one dance from you, Alan," said Pamela.

"Me too, please, Uncle Alan," said Abi almost bursting with excitement.

"You'll all wear me out, though I expect young Tony here will help," I replied.

"I ... I can't dance ... well not terribly well," said Tony looking downcast.

"I'll teach you," said Jenny. "Don't worry. It's not as difficult as it looks and I'm pretty sure that we won't be expecting any fancy moves either."

"Thank you, Mother," Tony replied.

Breakfast was finished off and Pamela said her goodbyes as Abi and I prepared for a trip into Horsham.

The trip itself was a delight as Abi kept me company and talked unceasingly on a variety of subjects as the Conquest ate up the miles to the town. There were a few moments when I was tempted to pull off the road and indulge in a little intimacy with Abi, but I restrained myself with the thought of business first, pleasure later, perhaps on the return journey, as we drove into town.

The trip into Horsham had been pleasant and I collected the sketch from the art supply shop, being very satisfied with the result.

"Mother is so beautiful," said Abi.

"Yes she is, and you take very much after her, little one," I replied.

"Thank you, Uncle Alan," she said, squeezing my hand.

"I think I'll ask Tom to do a sketch of you too," I said.

"Oh, do you think he will?" Abi asked excitedly.

"I don't see why not, he does love you after all," I replied.

"Oh, that would be so wonderful," she said as she squeezed my hand in evident delight.

"I think you'd be a very good model," I replied. "Once you've done a little more growing in places."

"I don't know, I was planning on becoming a doctor," she replied. "Like Dr Davis."

"Good luck," I replied. "You will have to study very hard."

"I know, but my year tutor believes I have the ability," Abi said with a happy smile.

"Well, I suggest you go for it and ask Henry about it as well. He may have a few pointers for you," I said.

"I will. He's supposed to be coming around on Monday when the Army doctor comes to see Father," Abi said, her face clouding over slightly at the mention of Tom.

"I know things aren't easy for your Father at the moment," I said. "But don't give up hope. You never know what might turn up."

I took Abi for a light lunch although it was still early, simply because it was a lovely day. We wandered to Horsham Park which I explained had once been the ancestral park of the Hurst family who had been the Lords of the Manor in the Horsham area. I pointed out a few things of interest as we simply wandered hand in hand, a grandfather out with his granddaughter. Well, it would have been had not Abi taken it upon herself to caress my manhood whenever there was no one in sight, something I would not have believed would ever happen in my life.

Jenny and Tony walked in silence down to the lake, Tony carrying a basket containing a packed lunch and their two bathing costumes wrapped up in towels. Tony was wondering if he should do or say anything, but was also fearful of putting his foot in it as Jenny hadn't mentioned anything to do with their previous conversation where she'd expressed a possible interest. Not a definite 'yes' of course, but equally not a definite 'no' either. That and the fact that they were both going together without Alan or Abi gave him hope, though sadly not the ability to actually express it.

Jenny unlocked the boathouse and allowed Tony to assist her into the row boat and then helped grab the basket as Tony gingerly climbed in as well.

"You row," said Jenny breezily, "I'm the lady."

"Yes, Mother," chuckled Tony as he used an oar to push the boat away from the side.

It didn't take long to reach the island, although Tony was perspiring in the heat of the morning by the time they did. Alighting, Jenny led the way to where the gazebo was and then stood watching her son with a slight smile on her face as he stood looking confused and unable to act.

"Costume on, let's swim ... first," said Jenny.

"Yes, Mother," Tony replied and then started slightly as Jenny began undressing in front of him.

Taking her time in a silent striptease Jenny observed Tony's reaction as he couldn't keep his eyes off her body as step by step she revealed herself to him. She also noted, as he began his own undressing, the shape of his young cock as it pressed forward against the fabric of his trousers. Finally they were both in their costumes, Tony's still with a hardened bulge at the front. Jenny led the way through the bushes to the swimming area where they both splashed about, Tony doing several dives off the rock, showing off to a certain extent to Jenny's enthusiastic applause.

Eventually though, Jenny decided enough was enough, they'd both 'accidentally' brushed against each other several times during the swim and now the ache between her legs was demanding resolution...

"Let's get the picnic blanket and the towels out and we can talk," Jenny said, after they had casually strolled back to the gazebo, an act which seemed to take an age to Tony.

Soon they were both sitting side by side on the blanket and Jenny reached up to tousle Tony's short hair.

"You've grown," she said. "Even in the last couple of days you've grown ... or rather, matured, Tony."

"I wouldn't know, I don't feel any different ... well apart from ... you know," he said glancing down.

"Ah yes, your problem, which isn't really a problem if you can keep it under control," Jenny said.

"I'm trying," Tony replied in a chuckle, but also blushing as well.

"I'm sure," Jenny said. "But you appear to struggle a little when I'm around."

"Yes, you're so beautiful," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Thank you, it's nice to be noticed," Jenny said with a gentle smile.

"I can't help but notice," Tony said.

"It's also nice to be appreciated too," said Jenny, leaning across to kiss her son in a way that mother's weren't supposed to.

"I do appreciate you," Tony replied when their lips parted.

"Oh, there's appreciation and appreciation," said Jenny as she stretched her hand out and ran a fingertip over her son's groin.

"Does that mean?" Tony began.