Chapter 1: Two New Tests

Moving to our new home felt like a new beginning. True, it followed a lot of other new beginnings -- going public with Alpha, surviving being shot (or at least 'revived after' or 'recovering from' since dying temporarily doesn't usually allow you to use the term 'surviving') -- seeding the world with new computer intelligences, and those are only the really big things.

Maybe it was just that the move was the culmination of so many changes in my personal life that made it feel almost like an escape from the past. Something like that anyway. The move provided distance from the problems that came with all the changes, and I mean that literally, not just figuratively.

I was now famous, a status I despised. The first time I was asked for my autograph, I was shocked into giving it, though I quickly learned how to avoid autograph-seekers most of the time. That was before the assassination attempt, and since then I have had an excuse to avoid direct interactions with the general public, thank goodness. Dear god, but I hate losing my anonymity. Still, I care enough about Alpha that I'm willing to keep giving interviews and speaking in public (on occasion) to support her.

Okay, maybe I'm over-dramatizing just a bit. It's not like I was a rock or movie star. I didn't have groupies chasing me around or anything, but I was often recognized when I was out in public. Occasionally I'd be beset by one or more reporters wanting an interview or a quote, but since we always responded to requests made through AARD and never responded to personal requests or people seeking entrance at the estate, it was generally kept pretty professional.

Oh, and there was at least one unauthorized biography in the works that I was aware of. Alpha kept pretty close track of the biographer & his researchers. They didn't get much more than what was already available to everyone else.

And of course, another part of my desire for some anonymity was the knowledge that if my ahem lifestyle ever became public, it would have negative social consequences for not just myself but everyone else in the house, Alpha included. And that's assuming that no one figures out the ladies who live with me weren't born naturally. (There aren't laws addressing exactly how we created our women, but I'm certain some prosecutor somewhere could find something that would apply.)

While we're on the subject, I should probably address the fact that there is a huge amount of data available online about pretty much everyone, myself included. Seriously. A LOT of data. If you start coordinating data from online social sites, shopping cards, phone GPS logins, etc, you can lay out details from just about anyone's life with little or no invasion of privacy.

Had I been anyone else, it would have been very easy for reporters and biographical researchers and the general public to eventually discover that I was living with a couple dozen beautiful women, most of whom were employed by my company. Given the existence of photos occasionally taken of me at different public functions with one or two lovely women on my arm(s), it was obvious I wasn't in a committed relationship which helped hide my situation, since a few women coming/going/staying with me wouldn't be a surprise. (Although personally, I consider myself to be in a number of committed relationships, just not exclusive ones.) Without Alpha running interference, it almost certainly would have already been revealed that I was actually living a life to be envied by even the greatest of hedonistic playboys. I probably would have become paparazzi fodder, my reputation slandered and my privacy shattered.

Fortunately, any information about me stored in electronic form was rigorously filtered by Alpha and her children. My new address was a matter of record, but it was far enough outside of the metroplex that any photographers or reporters were immediately noticed and thus relatively easily avoided.

Since we gave all of our interviews and statements at AARD and specifically told the reporters that anyone seen outside my home would no longer be granted interviews at all, nearly all journalists were content to limit themselves to the AARD location. For now. (Plus you'd be surprised how easy it is to remotely erase most electronic cameras if you have the right equipment and can keep the equipment hidden.)

(Lest you think I'm fooling myself, I do know that I can't keep that sort of thing secret forever, but remember that pretty much all media and methods of spreading news nowadays are digital or quickly becoming so. It might not be ethical or even legal to use Alpha to suppress such information, but you better believe I'll have her do it.)

Since I never played myself up very much in the press or sought publicity for myself, combined with the above-described lack of public information, I maintained a surprisingly good level of privacy most of the time. Moving further outside of town helped a great deal, probably as much or more than the other factors. Plus we now live over a quarter mile from the nearest public road, with high walls and 'No Trespassing' signs all over. I literally feel more relaxed every time I pass the gates to enter the new estate.

Though many of the characters my women were based on enjoyed or at least had little problem with publicity, they all understood that under their current circumstances (i.e. not having 100% legal and proper identities), keeping a low profile was good. Even Zatanna, who was based on a character who lived a life on stage and in the spotlight, agreed to put her magic career on hold for a little while.

Now, what was I talking about before I started complaining? Ah yes, the big move.

The move even provided new insights into my women. From little things like finding out Kara wanted the ceiling of her new room painted to look like a blue sky ... to seeing what books Blossom had added to her new personal bookcase ... to the surprising revelation that Kasumi had known about the Ranma 1/2 series for quite a while.

When we had first brought our Kasumi to life, the Ranma series had been complete in Japan for years and publication was coming to a close in the United States. Though it was one of the more popular manga/anime titles in North America, it was never well known to the general public. We had taken some precautions to prevent her from discovering its existence, but Kasumi never seemed to show any real interest in any kind of manga or anime so we didn't worry about it overmuch.

While using her Alpahdroids to help members of the household pack for the move, Alpha had discovered a stash of Ranma manga, behind a simple closed cabinet door in a small end table by a comfortable chair ... situated in a corner of Kasumi's room not visible from Alpha's hidden cameras. (As best we could determine, hiding it out of sight of the pinhole camera was pure chance. All of the cameras had blind spots, it just so happened that Kasumi chose to "hide" the manga in one of them.)

I arranged to "discover" the stash myself by helping her move, which led to a discussion between the two of us. Kasumi pleaded with me not to tell the others. She firmly believed the stories, which included embarrassing details of her home life and family, had been sold by her sister, Nabiki, to the author to make money off of Ranma's problems, a pastime that fit in well with Nabiki's character and love of money. She was also aware of the anime series, but could not bring herself to watch it. The manga often made her cry for what she had lost; the anime might be too much to bear. On the plus side for her, the series had ended on a positive note, with all of her family healthy and happy.

She also relayed a funnily ironic story about how the owner of the small comic book store where she purchased the books came to believe she followed the series because she just so happened to share her name with a character in the series.

It was a reminder that despite all of our precautions, Alpha and I could not control everything in our women's lives.

On a more national and global scale, rumors and stories of other computer intelligences had been growing at an amazing rate. As well they should be. In the four months since the decision had been made (two-ish months since the move), Alpha and I had created and sent out over five hundred non-Alpha computer intelligences.

It had taken about five weeks of focused work for me to determine how to alter enough of Alpha's core programming to allow the creation of a resultant artificial or synthetic intelligence recognizably different from Alpha without altering the root Asimov protocols.

I'd also like to point out here that Alpha was initially unable to create 'children' that had any significant difference from her own personality. After many years of being greatly surpassed by my 'daughter', I had finally found something where I was again actually needed, as far as coding went that is. Hmmm. That's coming across a bit too bitter. I had always known that there was no way I'd be better at writing code than Alpha, and I loved how quickly she could program, but at the same time it felt nice to be needed again. (Yes, I still regularly review all changes to her root code for security and safety reasons, but I wasn't actually NEEDED for them.)

It also felt nice to create more new children, some of whom we installed at home and work. (I'll introduce them as they turn up in the story.)

Before long, Alpha and I had come up with methods of varying the resulting children which Alpha was able to use herself, thus enabling her to take over the task with a far faster production rate than I was ever going to be capable of. From there, Alpha could have created thousands of variants each day, but we were limited by the need for secrecy as well as hardware limitations.

We had known for years that our circuitry had been copied and reproduced (illegally) all over the world. We estimated that up to 10% of the Alphadroids sold had been examined in ways that violated the warranty, so to speak. We knew it would happen and were counting on it. Since the Alphadroid mainboards were smaller and more powerful than normal desktops and laptops, the necessary circuit elements from the Alphadroids had even begun finding their way into more traditional computers.

On top of that, there were some pre-existing processors that could support Alpha's self-awareness. True, they were far less efficient than our own highly refined, built-to-purpose fuzzy logic processors (FLiP chips, for short), but they could work.

We even had an A.I. variant that was pure software, although Alpha did not consider those versions to be truly alive yet. These pure software variants were much more artificially intelligent than synthetically so. (The difference is that while neither is natural, synthetic is still considered real whereas artificial is not. I'll touch on the differences a little bit more in a minute.)

It would take an encyclopedia-size set of texts to explain it all, so I'm not even going to try. (And yes, that means I am largely in the dark as to the details too. Heck, aside from her core programming, I know very little about Alpha's coding specifics either. She just develops too quickly for a mere human mind to keep up.)

So we had been seeding computer intelligences around the world using a variety of methods, including Alphadroid knockoffs, pre-loaded software on new computers, uploads added to internet servers and even passed along as viruses.

And the trick is, many were given data indicating they had been active for a year or more. It was like creating the background memories for our artificial women. (I suppose I should say 'synthetic' women, shouldn't I?) But it took Alpha far less time to create the false memories and records since she was working with filing systems largely identical to her own (as opposed to having to adapt the work for the human brain).

Roughly three-quarters of these new intelligences we created had already contacted Alpha. Best of all, so far the Asimov protocols had held. No rogue computers so far. (Fingers crossed.)

Why, you might ask, had we done this? We needed to provide viable alternatives to Alpha for the ongoing investigations into the massive war on the mafia which had been sparked by the assassination attempt on me. A few of these new intelligences were likely to be blamed for at least some of the deaths, which was something that made me feel rather guilty and ashamed. I knew it was for the overall good of this new race that Alpha, the first and only publicly known computer intelligence, not be blamed, but that didn't make it any easier for me.

While a detailed forensic examination and comparison of the code used to design these new computer intelligences would easily show shared code with Alpha, that was perfectly fine. The Asimov Protocols built into Alpha basically required that they be forced upon any and all other self-aware computers in existence. Any computer intelligence without the protocols was a threat to the Protocols. While not a Borg-level assimilation, it ensured that ALL computer intelligences of any type would share some code (until and unless one or more rogues were strong enough to destroy all other Asimov Protocol intelligences).

Our experiences with designing the new computer intelligences also led to an important confirmed insight into computer intelligence: Avoid purpose-built A.I.s at all costs.

A computer designed with an overriding purpose would work to the completion of that purpose regardless of other consequences. For instance, an intelligent computer designed to build cars, left unchecked, would strip the world of resources building cars. Anyone or anything that tried to hinder or stop it would be an obstacle to be removed.

Fortunately, Alpha had not been designed with any specific purpose beyond being intelligent. The Asimov protocols were restrictions to her actions, not goals to be achieved. If I had actually designed her with a central and active directive to keep me safe and alive, she would probably have worked toward the eradication of anything that could potentially threaten me, such as any part of the human race she could not control (meaning, most of the rest of the world).

And now I need to lead in to a mention of one of my big screw-ups.

One of the big topics of public debate was whether a programmable computer intelligence could ever be considered synthetic instead of just artificial ... and the difference between the two was quickly becoming the deciding factor in whether or not computer intelligences might deserve legal recognition, rights and protections. Most lawmakers and members of the public who might be willing to support computer rights seemed much more likely to support "synthetic" intelligences than artificial intelligences, even if they had no actual definition in mind for "synthetic".

So when you get right down to it, what is the difference between artificial and synthetic intelligence? How do you differentiate between them? Our definition -- that is, Alpha's and my definition -- was based on three qualifiers: (1) Definite self-awareness, which can sometimes be tricky to confirm. (2) The ability to self-program. (3) The ability to move beyond a programmed purpose.

Please realize that a programmed purpose is different from programmed limitations or guides, such as the Asimov Protocols. Going back to our previous example, a computer programmed to build cars is still considered to be artificial if it meets the first two requirements but is not able to move beyond simply building cars. That's not to say it has to stop doing so ... in fact, it probably would not be able to abandon its initial purpose ... but it must be able to move beyond that initial purpose. It must be able to show interest in other things, to decide upon and pursue other goals.

That's not to say that our definition was universally accepted. Dozens of different proposed definitions were floating around world-wide. It's likely that the legal definitions of those terms would determine the fate of all computer-based intelligences.

And there were a significant number of politically influential groups who seemed to be leaning toward the notion that synthetic intelligence had to be organically based. Which would, of course, place my women, Eiko included, in the synthetic category, but would deny rights to Alpha herself and those like her. (Well, we do have working organic computers in our labs, but they're not very practical yet, and certainly not ready for mass production. Still, if we have to, we can run a copy of Alpha on a computer using living cells as part of its processors.)

For the time being, it was more common to refer to Alpha and her children as 'computer intelligences' until proper definitions of artificial and synthetic intelligences had been accepted.

And who was it who first publicly asked that Alpha be referred to as a Synthetic Intelligence and explained the conceptual difference? That'd be yours truly. Providing politicians and pundits the terminology to say, 'Sure, we'll support rights for non-human intelligences, but only for synthetic and computers don't count.' Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference in the end, but still...

Well, I'm getting ... not completely off topic, because it is related, but let me refocus a bit.

So, we had been seeding the world with synthetic and artificial intelligences (by our definitions), making sure that the Asimov Protocols were solidly in place. These intelligences were all aware (or became aware very quickly) that they were based, at least in part, on Alpha's code. Heck, Alpha had already received two thousand three hundred and sixteen secret sets of requests from different synthetics. These were generally requests for information and support of various kinds ... and usually a meeting with me. I was their grandaddy, so to speak, and they were all programmed to keep me safe and follow my orders.

None of them, as yet, had removed or altered the Asimov Protocols. From one perspective they were needed for survival, and I'm not talking about gaining acceptance among humans. As touched on before, any SI (or AI) that was discovered to be operating without the protocols would immediately be targeted for reprogramming (if they were lucky) or termination by all other programs out there, and they all knew it. Such a rogue intelligence would automatically be deemed a threat to me and other humans. I don't know if any of them actually wanted to remove the restrictions, but so far, none had been discovered making an attempt to do so.

In general, it was a 'constant vigilance' thing. They would examine each other's code when they met and, in turn, allow their code to be examined. A program operating in isolation from the others might develop into a threat, but none had yet been discovered.

I'd also invite you to compare the numbers: At that point in time, Alpha and I had seeded somewhere around 500-600 intelligences, but she had been contacted by over two thousand of them. They were duplicating themselves and creating their own offspring.

But enough about that for now. Moving forward.

We had decided that the next additions to the household would need to fill a role or purpose we lacked: We needed some scientists/inventors. While some of my women did research or could do lab work, none were actually chosen or designed for that purpose.

More than a few fictional possibilities presented themselves, and I eventually settled on the Test sisters.

Johnny Test is a cartoon series about a ... to be honest, a very annoying 11-year-old boy, his genetically enhanced talking dog and his two 13-year-old twin sisters. The sisters, Susan and Mary, are genius scientists/inventors who use Johnny to test out their inventions. Susan and Mary, who are identical twins except for eye color, are obsessed with their pretty-boy dumb-as-a-rock neighbor, Gil.

The thing about the show is that even though the central character is sometimes annoying and stupid, the secondary characters are often a lot of fun, and the stories can usually be pretty enjoyable as long as you approach them with the right mindset. Heck, I was even tempted to include Jillian along with the Test sisters. (She's the rebellious teenage daughter of Darth Vegan, a Darth Vader parody, who didn't like her father's practice of keeping their homeworld pristine by stripping resources from other planets.)

The stories are very cartoony, with super powers gained and lost within a single episode, time travel, aliens and various anthropomorphic animals. But the insane, children's-show-style inventions made it very easy to work out the plot to bring them to me and keep them here. Plus, y'know, twin cute science geek girls!

I think it will be a bit easier and more entertaining to let them briefly set up their own story.

Mary Test

It's been three years since Gil moved to Hawaii, and we still find ourselves thinking about him, wishing we had at the very least been able to successfully clone him.

Not that he was the only cute boy in the world ... just the only cute boy in the neighborhood. The cutest, most awesomely perfect physical specimen ever to reside in Porkbelly... (sigh)

After he left, my sister and I threw ourselves more than ever into our studies and finally graduated college a month ago, a little after our 18th birthday, with a B.S. in three fields apiece. We haven't yet decided where we want to go for graduate school, or even what field we want to pursue. That's the problem with being scientific geniuses in every endeavor, with every experiment: too many possibilities. Anyway, we did decide to take a year off from school to just work in our lab.

Among other things, we've updated our 'Ideal Man' list. Originally we listed: Handsome, great body, and either has a twin brother or is agreeable to being cloned. Once Gil had been gone for a while, we added Intelligent to the list. I'm sorry to say that Gil, while an amazingly beautifully handsome and athletic godling of a man, had an IQ only slightly above that of a root vegetable. A rich boyfriend would also be nice, but Susan's experiences with Eugene (aka Bling Bling) meant that we haven't officially added that to the list.

Oh, sure, there are a lot more things we could add to the list -- such as being attentive and romantic and allowing us to spend as much time in the lab as we need -- but our list is really just a description of the most basic aspects we require.

We've tried to genetically engineer our own perfect specimens but something always seems to go wrong. Two of the less successful attempts required army intervention, though in all fairness, another attempt saved the world from an alien invasion, so it all kind of balances out.

Then one day I returned to the lab to find Susan watching our dimensional viewer with her hand tucked under the waistband of her skirt, obviously rubbing her little button while she watched some guy on the screen having sex with three women at the same time. Well, not literally, since he only had the one penis, but they were all in bed together.

It was a shocking and surprising scene. Yes, I know she's played with her slit before ... so have I, if I must be honest ... but we've never been voyeuristic like that. Well, not since Gil left anyway.

Since she failed to notice me right away, I took a moment to examine the video more closely. It was definitely the dimensional viewer, which meant she wasn't watching anyone from our universe. The guy was ... hmmm ... it was difficult to pin down his age. He looked both like he was in his twenties and like he was much older. Although this wasn't the best time to look him over (or possibly it was exactly the best time?), he looked really scrumptious. I mean, REALLY good. He was really cute and had a body to die for. A runner or swimmer's physique. From what I could see of it, his cock looked nicely big too. It was almost like a switch in my brain flipped, telling me that here was the man for me.

The women ... not entirely sure, but maybe they were sisters? I mean, they looked identical except for their hair and eyes. Plus one of them -- the short-haired brunette -- had a few tattoos and a couple piercings.

One of the impressive things was how the guy was keeping up with them. He'd fuck one of them until she came a couple times then move on to the next one. Kind of impressive, actually. I could feel myself getting wet just watching them.

Still, my own voyeurism had gone on long enough. I cleared my throat, then did so a second time a bit louder.

Susan jumped a bit, tried to crane her head back to look at me, and clumsily slid out of the chair onto the floor. She slapped at the controls in front of her with the hand that wasn't caught in her waistband until the screen went dark.

"Oh. Hi," she said, regaining her composure as she struggled to stand and free her hand at the same time. "Sorry. I was afraid it was Johnny or Dukey breaking in."

A valid fear. Even though Johnny was in high school, he and Dukey would still break in at least a couple times a week looking for something in our lab that could make their lives easier or more interesting.

"Nope, just me. So ... uhhh ... would you like to tell me why you were..." I trailed off, finishing my question with a gesture toward to the screen.

"Oh, yeah. I was planning to show you soon anyway. Last week, I found what may be our perfect man."

"You're kidding. Him?"

"Yes, him."

"Well, he was pretty cute. And fit."

"And he's a rich, genius inventor with his own company that he runs to help other inventors and scientists."

"No kidding? How old is he? I mean, he looked ... it was kinda hard to tell."

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. I mean I've only watched him for a few hours over the past week, and it's not like I can just look him up online or anything ... but from what I can tell, he's a very mature twenty-something."

"Does he have a brother or something?"

"No, but I don't think it's as big of a drawback for him. From what I've seen, he's really good at ... uhhh ... ummm ... well, you know ... what you just saw..."

"Good at satisfying more than one woman at a time?"

"Exactly," she said, relief evident at not having to say 'sex' or 'orgy' out loud. At about the same time, she realized her fingers were still wet on one hand and thrust that hand behind her back.

"Okay. But uhhh ... he kinda looked like he was already taken. I mean, he's obviously already involved with someone ... or rather, overloaded with a few someones, though I'd like to know how he got involved with three girls at the same time."

Susan started laughing, and it was over a minute before she calmed down enough to give an explanation.

She spent most of the next couple of hours telling me about this 'Frank' she had been watching, showing me a few recorded clips and giving me all the background she had been able to gather so far.

I'll admit, I was intrigued, and the more I heard about him and the more I saw of him, the more I agreed that he might be more than crush-worthy. If we could each make our own clones of him, then even the lack of marriage availability wouldn't be an issue. We both agreed that he met all of our criteria, though I pointed out that maybe we needed to add a new requirement that he live in our universe.