Victoria the Girl Who Hated Her Name
Chapter 8

Copyright© 2013 by Bob Gilfried

August 24, 3:30pm

Victoria,

Already using this addy instead of the sol one. Did Magenta call you? I told her about the email you got from Frank leaving out the bit about sol and Brad and Patricia. Left in the stuff he was going to miss and that he asked you to tell the wife. Sorry dearie but that last bit's just really bad form.

I do have my own beliefs. But I also have things I am unsure of. I'm really not into organized religion at all. The Catholics taught me too much. They screwed up and went and made a thinker out of me! One of the first conclusions I came to was that I didn't need them.

The Blessing of the trucks thing is unique here too. A truck driver I know from different shows also happens to be a Mennonite. He is as active in his church as a long haul trucker can be. Remember our definition of long haul is a bit different to yours. We consider an area the size of England to be "regional". Anyway this guy is active in his church and wanted to incorporate his beliefs with what he does. A lot of churches have regular events to specifically bless peoples' pets or motorcycles etc but this is the only one I know of specifically for lorry drivers and their lorrys. To me it's a bunch of lorries all shined up in a pleasant setting-parked on grass not macadam or gravel, also a bunch of very nice people. There are lots of little kids running around, everybody behaving and no alcohol. Just the kind of environment I don't have to worry about Mum getting offended by. Last year we stayed for the start of the actual blessing but left before it was remotely finished. The minister blesses each truck and driver in turn after the driver talks a little about himself and what he does where he goes etc.

Bob

August 24, 4:54pm

Bob,

One thing I didn't tell you in my previous email - I told you that Frank had personal messages for me to cut 'n' paste into emails to Tedbiker, Kaffir and Oyster. Well, the one to Tedbiker was unusual - he wants Ted to take over the story 'Brad and Patricia' and Ted can do whatever he likes with it, but, with conditions. Frank wants me to first change the real names (that's easy with 'find and replace' in Word) and edit the Prologue. Then I'm to email the Word doc to Ted. Ted has to dream up a new title and that's it - he can post it if he wants. As far as 'Daddy's little girl' is concerned, I'm simply to remove it completely and not pass it on. That's as much as I know.

I had no idea this function existed in Word which happens to be what I have been using to turn these emails into a format SOL computers could understand. I had been changing each name seperately. You can imagine my reaction when I found this function was possible.

I did speak to Magenta when I was driving home - she has spoken to Dave (the technical director) earlier today and he's also drawn a blank with regards to Franks actions. Apparently Dave, like me, cannot understand why Frank has volunteered to stay on for the remaining month of the project - the work is pure electrical work, not sophisticated controls work and Mike is more than capable of finishing the job and knowing Mike as I do, he would have been happy to stay away for any length of time.

I'm not mad at Frank any more - it's hard for me to remain annoyed with a person that has done so much for me - I'm just perplexed, worried and saddened, knowing the poor guy is working in some shit-hole of a country and miserable as sin with whatever is eating away at his thoughts. It's the 'not knowing' that's really getting to me. I'm picking up Mike and the two labourers that went to 'project x' from the railway station tomorrow and taking them to their homes. Mike contacted me earlier today to give a rough ETA in the UK (he was back in civilization, at an airport waiting to fly back to the UK). He's not being cheeky - I told them all when I took them to the railway station six weeks ago that I didn't mind them phoning me when they got back to the UK and that I'd pick them up. Anyway, it will give me a chance to speak to Mike and see if I can glean any info out of him about Frank and his state of mind.

As you can probably tell from the time stamp on this email, it's only 9:50PM as I write. I did meet up with Magenta, Matt and Richard but only stayed an hour and then made my excuses and left. I was shit company tonight anyway - I couldn't be arsed to go out and only went because I'd promised Magenta I would, but it was a bad idea - I was simply not in the right frame of mind. Richard looked disappointed but tried to hide it well. As I stood to leave, they all stood too. Matt gave me a quick hug and peck on the cheek, so did Magenta and Richard just looked awkward. I put him out of his misery and shook his hand, then drew his head down and gave HIM a quick peck on the cheek. His smile told me I did the right thing - he quipped that he'd never wash that cheek again! Anyway, I'm glad to be home with a nice steaming cup of hot chocolate and quiet music on the radio - I'm a real wild, fun-loving, party chick 19YO, ain't I? ;)

The blessing of the trucks sounds fascinating and I assure you I'm not being facetious - I'm not religious, as I've said before, but I think that for people who have their beliefs that this is a really lovely idea. I know these long-haul truckers spend a lot of their lives in trucks, and I guess that it must bring comfort to them to have their 'home from home' blessed. I can see that, even if I don't have any beliefs myself. Hope that made sense - I'm knackered and not thinking too straight. Anyway, I hope you and yours enjoy the day out. Oh, and enjoy the Meatloaf concert too!

I (or should I say Frank) had real hater feedback tonight. Some religious nut telling Frank he was going to rot in hell for taking advantage of me etc. - I kid you not - so much for Christian beliefs and the concept of forgiveness! I decided to have some fun with this twat. Firstly, I asked him what he was doing on a site specializing in erotic stories if he had such strong religious convictions. Secondly, I asked him this: if there is a God, why did he allow me to suffer so much throughout my childhood? What did I, as an innocent child, do to deserve that? Now Bob, do you think I will get a reply? Bet I won't!

When I was a child, I never got introduced to religion of any kind - my 'Mother' only believed in sex, drugs and booze, but you know that. I had RE at school - it's compulsory in UK schools - but I paid no attention; I simply wasn't interested. I'm not, to my knowledge, even baptized, not that I'm bothered!

<pause for a phone call>

I've just had some lovely news - Patricia was on the phone and asked if I'd like to go on holiday with them in lieu of Frank. I said I'd love to, assuming I could get the time off. When I tried to offer to pay my share, Pat was having none of it and told me not to be silly. So, next Monday, assuming I can get round Dave by flashing my big girly eyes and looking as cute as can be at him, and persuade him to give me the rest of the week off and the following Monday, I will be in France for six days!

Well, it's 10:50PM now - I'm going to bed, I'm falling asleep!

Au revoir, Victoria

August 25, 3:15am From Magenta Just a reminder, I am NOT editing Magenta's emails for grammer issues.

Bob,

soz that i didnt reply last night as i said i would - me Matt and Richard had one to many and after 11pm or so things started to get a bit fuzzy. we were last out of the club and the doorman (a friend of mine) give us a lift home. anyway, i'm sure Vic will tell you but she did make it last night but only stayed for a bit. she looked washed out & distant. guess shes worrying about Frank or whatnot. anyway, after about an hour she told us she was going to leave, being honest saying she was knackered and not good company. me and Matt hugged her as we always would and then that girl surprised me by giving Rich a kiss on the cheek. i smiled at her but was also a little concerned. she may give out the wrong vibes doing that. after she went Rich wouldnt stop talking about her. youd think that Vic had pulled his trousers down and blown him right there and then in the club the way he went on about her! me and Matt laughed at him in the end, telling him he was being like a school kid. he looked sad after that. i grabbed his hand and gently reminded him that i told him to be under no illusions and to not get his hopes up. i said the kiss was probably nothing more than being friendly, cos Vic sees us do it to mates. he looked even more sad. he told me shes the most beautiful lass hes ever met, going on to say as a person too, not just looks. anyway, thats why we all drank too much - Richard drowned his sorrows an we felt obliged to keep up with him, well thats what mates are for, right? ;) now my fucking head is telling me otherwise... :(

as i write, just got a text from Vic - says she might be going to France with Franks family next week if she can get the time off - wow, lucky cow!

i'm not supposed to know this as fucking project x is a secret (hence the stupid name) but i do the accounts, don't i? i see receipts for travel and stuff. lets just say africa comes to mind. i guess thats not giving anything away as its a huge continent. so what do you mean by tropical diseases? do you think he may have caught something thats affecting his thinking? if you do think that PLEASE don't tell Vic - shes worried enough without something else to think about.

BTW, as Vic is part of their family now, even his wife accepts Vic like a daughter, was it really a shitty thing that Frank did getting Vic to tell his wife he wouldn't be coming home yet? my mum or dad will ask me to pass on a message to one of my brothers or sisters or the other parent - surely thats the same isnt it?

anyway must go as i have chores to do and i need to go and kick that big lummox of a BF out of bed to - if i'm suffering so can he. (i love him really, honest!)

Magenta.

ps - i never write this much to mates - you seem to bring it out in me though, weird!

August 25, 10:37pm

Victoria

"As you can probably tell from the time stamp on this email, it's only 9:50PM as I write. I did meet up with Magenta, Matt and Richard but only stayed an hour and then made my excuses and left."

Got an email from Magenta about this too. Her night was longer. She and Matt were both hung over this morning. As I write this it is Saturday at 8:40pm. I read her email real quick this morning before heading out myself, so forgive me if I get the details wrong. Her concern was the kiss on the cheek. Mine too now that I think about it a little. Remember how I told you I had pure friends that happened to be girls that were more touchy-feely and thought nothing of hugs of greeting and leaving etc? This behavior did not start the second time I ever saw them. These were all people I had known for a significant length of time. Not girls I had seen on exactly TWO occasions. Magentas concern is that you may be sending mixed signals. She may have something there. By now she's talked to him. She said she would before Friday so he has the highlights of your past. Anyhow with the benefits of copy and paste I am adding what she sent me about Rich here.

It is the email above this one, I removed it from here to avoid repeating it, Bob

So you need to do some thinking girlie. Decide what you want to do with Richard right now. Do you want him as a friend right now, or do you want to try dating him right now. You can always change your mind later, that doesn't matter. if you decide that what you want from him right at this point in your life is to get to know him as a friend and see where things go later then limit touching. Remember you are not obligated to touch him at all. Hugging Magenta and Matt is entirely appropriate because you've known the two of them for several years now. Did you hug Matt the second time you saw him? I'm betting probably not. So as you surmised Richard really was glad for the kiss. If you want to date him fine. If you want to be friends only, fine. If you want to try being friends then at some point in the future consider dating that's fine too. He is obviously interested in you. If he needs to stay in the friend zone right now, no more kisses-even the chaste kind. I'm not trying to scare you off of anything, just saying unless you are ready to try dating him now, don't touch, OK?

"The blessing of the trucks sounds fascinating and I assure you I'm not being facetious - I'm not religious, as I've said before, but I think that for people who have their beliefs that this is a really lovely idea. I know these long-haul truckers spend a lot of their lives in trucks, and I guess that it must bring comfort to them to have their 'home from home' blessed. I can see that, even if I don't have any beliefs myself. Hope that made sense - I'm knackered and not thinking too straight. Anyway, I hope you and yours enjoy the day out. Oh, and enjoy the Meatloaf concert too!"

It was nice. 10:13 now. Been a very busy couple of days. Been taking lots of breaks from this email watching telly with Sarah. Yesterday started at 4:15 then went to work. As soon as I got home, took a shower then as soon as Sarah got home she changed clothes and we left to meet my Mom near my job. A whole 15 blocks away to be exact. Then we went to dinner and off to the concert. I only knew a couple of the songs. We left early as everybody was tired and he'd been onstage for a bit over an hour. We got home at a hair after midnight. Up at 6am and out the door at 6:30. We had a really nice day out. I'm well passed tired now but as soon as I'm done here it's off to sleep.

"I will be in France for six days!"

Lovely news. But Patricia does have an alterior motive here. Now that you are a licensed driver, Pat won't have to drive in France if you're with.

Be careful with the food girlie, the French actually know things about what tastes good. They're going to fatten you up a bit. Baked beans on toast for breakfast? There is a reason there are no fine English restaurants in New York...

OK made it to 10:35, time to make a detailed examination of the insides of my eyelids.

Talk to you later girlie Bob

August 26, 9;56pm

Bob,

This is a bloody long email mate, so I apologise now!

See, there's another misnomer about the UK – our food –we have some great food and dishes here. The French are snobs about their food, and this isn't just a Brit stating this: I've been to Holland and Germany, and they say the same thing! Yeah, I know the French love and take pride in their food, but just saying. Besides, I'm a 'steak and chips, burger and chips, pizza and chips' sort of girl – I like simple, tasty, non-pretentious food. And no, I won't be trying frog's legs or snails either! And French food won't fatten me up - How can I eat all the food I mention and stay slim? I'm what Patricia repeatedly calls "a lucky cow with a high metabolism!" (Pat's one of life's unfortunates that only has to look at a cream cake and she puts a pound on).

Glad you enjoyed the day out at the truck blessing - I would have liked to have seen that. How come you only knew a couple of Meatloaf's songs? I looked them up on Youtube and read a Wikki article about them and they've been going for years. Have they completely changed their set or something?

Onto Friday night: I thought the kiss was simply a 'friendly thing to do' – didn't expect to cause concern for both you and Magenta. Seems I can't get it right can I? Anyway, humour me here and remember I've no real dating experience, so I may sound like a kid, but: Richard (or Rich as I discovered he likes to be called) was sad when I left. He then bends Magenta and Matt's ear going on about me until they laugh at him. He then tells Magenta that he thinks I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever met, in both looks and as a person. Then he drowns his sorrows and gets drunk, apparently because of me (if I understand the meaning of the text you pasted from Magenta's email correctly).

Right, this is where I get perplexed. I can understand why he can quickly decide that he likes my looks - that's just a visual thing and I suppose you parse whether or not you like the way someone looks within seconds– which I get, OK?

Now what I don't get is how can Rich decide in only two meetings (the first lasting about four hours and Friday about an hour) that he thinks me 'as a person' is beautiful. I mean I guess I should take it as a compliment that he thinks that, but I certainly can't assess someone that quickly. I do like Rich, but I can't yet say he's a 'beautiful person'. Is he just trying to impress me (= get in my knickers) by proxy? (i.e. he'll assume that Magenta will talk to me about what he said and that I will fall for him). Or, is the way Rich is acting what people mean when they say 'love at first sight'? Am I just too damn cynical not to believe that may be a possibility? See why I don't want a relationship? I can't read the signs properly (and I thought Brad was OK yada yada... ) Yours, confused.

OK, enough of that...

Yes, I did pick-up Mike and the two labourers from the railway station. They all looked completely worn out, were very suntanned and thin. Before he left, Mike had one of those beer bellies that makes a bloke look six months pregnant – you know the kind, where the rest of the blokes body has no fat at all but their belly. Anyway, that has gone and he looks better for it. As they walked towards me, Mike spoke to me first and simply said "Wow, Vics, you're a sight for sore eyes lass" and put his arms out to me. I hugged him, of course (remember I've known Mike from that first day on the project site nearly three years ago). The two lads gave me a brief hug too, not wanting to be left out. Then the three of them walked wearily towards my car.

I dropped the two lads off first and then took Mike to his house. He invited me in for a cup of tea. His wife greeted us and gave Mike a peck on the cheek – yeah, six weeks away from his wife and he gets a better greeting off me at the railway station!). Anyway, Mike told me about the project. Seems they've had quite an experience out there. They didn't just do the company work. Seems Frank persuaded the other three to help renovate a community centre and a school in the nearby village, using materials 'borrowed' from the project.

Anyway, I listened patiently to all this, but of course, I really wanted to know about Frank. This is when Mike looked serious. Mike told me Frank worked consistently and conscientiously on the project, just as he'd expect him to. But he went on to tell me that there was no spark in him, no humour, no leg pulling. Mike said it was like working with a stranger.

Mike said he only seemed to lighten up when they working on the unofficial village projects. Mike told me that Frank became popular with the village kids, who would crowd round him and it was the only time he smiled and laughed. Mike said there was little to do at night as they were staying in a compound in huts provided by the main contractor for the project, which was about a hundred miles from the nearest small town, and that access was by dirt tracks, so not a quick or comfortable journey. But Mike went on to say that the lads made their own entertainment. Apparently some lads had taken musical instruments and there were quite a few who could sing (I know that Frank can sing well, as I've heard him). There were pool tables, darts boards, a library of DVD's, CD's book etc. Anyway, the point Mike went on to make was that Frank rarely joined in and would simply eat his evening meal and then retire to his hut, apparently hunched over his laptop all the time. Mike also said that like the rest of them, he's totally worn out, is covered in sores and bites and has lost about a stone in weight (Frank was not fat to start with). So, that did wonders for easing my concerns over him.

Mike was then quiet. I asked him if Frank talked about his family. Mike said he mentioned a few times that he felt really bad that he was missing key family events, was missing his kids and that he was missing me (that made me blush) but didn't elaborate more than that. Mike told me he got the impression that Frank didn't want to talk about 'back home', so he left it alone.

Mike then cleared up the mystery of the strange email I got from Frank. Apparently, when it was time for them to leave, Frank had decided to personally take the three of them to the nearest town, where they then caught a bus to the nearest town with an airport. Anyway, Mike's smartphone picked up a signal at that first town and Frank asked Mike if he could send me an email. So the strange email addy was in fact Mike's personal email address, which I didn't know. It's a cryptic name, nothing like 'Mike' in the name, so that why I had no clues.

By now I'd finished my cup of tea and made my excuses to leave. Mike showed me to the door and offered me another hug. He said "you're worried about him, aren't you lass?" I nodded rather than answered, feeling a bit choked up at this point. Mike then added something like: "I've known Frank for nigh on 20 years – he's a fighter – he'll be OK Vics." Then, as I left, Mike handed me a memory stick. "Frank asked me to give you this." Mike then kissed my forehead, which I thought was cute.

When I got home, I fired up the laptop and plugged the memory stick in. There were the inevitable spread sheets, Word docs and CAD drawings for the O&M manuals that I have to compile for the project. But among the files, there was an encrypted Word file named 'Victoria'. Now Frank is a habitual creature and I smiled to myself when the first password I tried worked! What I found were 60 pages of writing, some rambling with long, run-on sentences, as if he was simply writing down his thoughts verbatim. Other passages were more ordered, more like his writing in 'Runaway'. The heading page in 72point font states 'For Your Eyes Only!' below in smaller font 'That means not for anyone else, not Nell, not Tim, not Patricia!' 'OK, OK, I get the point Frank... ' I muttered to myself ;)

Now Bob, at this point, you're going to have to forgive me as I'm not going to share Franks actual missive with you. There's an awful lot of very private stuff in there, some very personal stuff related to Frank and I that even 'Brad and Janet' didn't expose. I trust you understand that. There's also too much info in there that would give my and Frank anonymity away and I can't, even with you, give that away, at least not yet. What I will do though, is tell you the stuff revealed in Franks ramblings that answer all my questions and the subjects that you and I have mused over.

Firstly, I must tell you that I went through several emotions reading what Frank had to say. The written word is somewhat lacking in conveying proper meaning (as you and I know!) and the other thing it lacks is tears. If Frank had written his letter to me on paper, I hazard a guess there would have been a lot of tear stains on the paper – initially his, then mine.

Frank described his life, in great detail, right back to when he was 16YO. Bob, the week his personality changed and he went quiet and distant, man, if I'd known what was bothering him I wouldn't have left his side. But I'll start from the beginning. I'll tell you what he told me about his teen years first. When Frank was 16, he met this girl. Frank didn't bother to describe her in detail to me, he simply said she was a mirror image of me, apart from that she had blues eyes (mine are brown). Anyway, this girl was 15YO and the year below Frank in school. She was the new kid on the block, very quiet, shy and introverted. Frank apparently saw her one night outside the school, crying. He went up to her, asking what the problem was. She'd lost her bus fare money (we don't have yellow school buses in the UK, kids catch normal service buses). Frank apparently told her "that's easy to fix" and handed her the money. And that was the start of a romance that lasted for the rest of Frank's time at school. (There are four pages where Frank describes those two years). Apparently, Frank and Susan were joined at the hip. Frank said his school mates used to rib him about it if Susan wasn't by his side; things like "You've lost part of your body Frank!" To everyone at school, they were simply Frank and Susan. However, despite his love for Susan, Frank left school on a downer. He didn't get the final grades he had tried hard to achieve and failed to gain a place at university.

I'll just explain here, because I think school exams etc. in the UK are completely different to the US system, though I may be wrong. You can leave school at either 16 or 18). If you leave at 16, you take exams known as GCSE's. These are good enough for a lot a jobs – 'blue collar' stuff. Say all the run-of the mill sort of jobs, or as a starter for apprenticeships in say being an electrician or plumber (where you go to college at night and maybe one day a week, like I do). If you want to go to university or college, you stay at school for another two years (it's called'sixth form', don't know why, as its years 12 and 13!). Anyway, in sixth form, you study for 'A-levels, which are the entry level exams one must pass to get into university. A student normally studies three or four major A-levels, usually associated with the subject they want to study at Uni. Frank said he studied Math, Physics and Chemistry, as he wanted to do a degree in electrical or electronic engineering.

So, Frank explained he had to start work instead and enrolled himself at college where he studied two nights and one day a week. (again, in the UK, an employer MUST allow a person one day a week off to attend college – the government compensate the employer for the pay). Frank got qualified, but it was a seven year slog as opposed to the normal three years it would take at Uni. Plus he came out with an HNC, which is unfairly dubbed a 'poor mans degree'. It's what I qualify with when I'm done at college. I say unfairly, because if anything, an HNC is actually a far more practical qualification (especially in engineering) as there is far more hands-on work than on a degree course, meaning a person with an HNC can actually use their hands if need be. Anyway, I've digressed, but this explanation is important for two reasons, one I'll explain now and the other will become apparent much later.

Remember Susan was a year below Frank, so when Frank hit the real world of work and college, Susan was in her last year at school. Frank discovered that the benefit of working meant money and of course that meant going out and partying. Frank explained that he worked hard and played hard. Problem was, the love of his life wanted to study hard for her up and coming A-levels. What was apparent from Frank ramblings is that even though they loved each other totally, the cracks then started to appear. Frank was now an 'adult' going out with a 'school kid' – different agendas etc. It all came to a head one night about six months after Frank had left school, so that would mean he'd been going out with Susan two and a half years. Frank had apparently asked Susan if she was going to the sixth form disco he'd heard about as he'd like to go (apparently, the discos were open to ex-sixth formers until they were 21YO). Susan had told him no, she had a cold and had to study.

So, Frank said he went to the pub instead and had a few drinks with some mates. Walking home, he decided to call into the disco anyway, as he'd had mates the year below too (Susan's year) and thought he'd see who was there. In he walked, to be faced with Susan dancing with a group of mates. Now Frank explained that what he did next has ashamed him to the current day. In front of all her mates, he verbally took her down (not physically) bit by bit until the poor girl was a pile of goo (Frank words) on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably (this is the point where I think Frank would have left tears on paper). Frank explains that the music had stopped and everybody just stared, gobsmacked at him. As he turned to walk off, apparently Susan had grabbed his leg, begging him to let her explain, being dragged along the floor as he stubbornly walked off. Frank said she eventually let go, shouting after him, but he continued on and never looked back... (personal viewpoint here – I simply can't imagine the humiliation that poor girl went through that night). Frank said that Susan had tried to explain through her tears that she simply wanted a night with her schoolmates, a night where she didn't have to play the 'adult' at some club, but that he was having none of it. Frank explanation to me was that he was 18, stubborn, a little drunk and arrogant. He never contacted her again and then led a life of ten years of working hard, partying hard and going out with 'fuck bunnies' (again his words – I guess they are friends with benefits?)

Frank did later find out from a mutual friend that Susan achieved three A grades (top marks) at school and then went on to study at Cambridge University – one of our top two uni's (equivalent to Harvard I guess). Of course, this was the era pre mobile phones and Internet and Frank explained that although he'd made a couple of attempts to find Susan, he couldn't (her folks had moved on and Susan's friends refused to give Frank Susan's folks new address). Frank says that despite his ten years of leading a hedonistic lifestyle, he never, ever forgot Susan.

 
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