Chapter 7

August 20 6:09pm

Victoria,

Frank and Janet in America? That does have some possibilities. Kind of odd in one way. Christina is about people from Louisiana. Even other southerners can't understand them. Cindy on the other hand is definitely more southern in her speech patterns. One thing Oyster50 absolutely got right. A judge in a small southern town IS the law.

I love the music in Chaos. I knew all of those songs. Have to check on just who's recording of Halleluiah he was listening to in his head when he wrote about Rebecca singing it. I know which one I downloaded off of Amazon. I now own exactly one recording by K.D. Lang It was as close to Ezzys description as I could get.

Dee and Suzette did not get married when she was 15. They got married when she was 20. Jerry Lee Lewis also married his cousin. That was creepy on a couple of levels.

There is a reason why you couldn't identify the bauble. It is unique in the world. It is a paperweight. It's unique because it is the only one I made. The air bubbles in the glass are intentional, not flaws.

Bob

August 20, 8:55pm

Vicky,

This one's going to be short, at least by my standards.

I think you need to understand a little about rural America and gun culture. First thing is had there been a father in Cindys life she would have been raised around guns. It would have been nothing new to her. She also would have started shooting around 10 or so years old. Not a 12 gage though. In the story the guy actually survived the first shot. At that distance he shouldn't have. However a 22 rifle is a pretty standard child's learning weapon.

Most of the gun culture is directly related to hunting. Deer, the other red meat. Mmmmmm tasty. I digress. See the people that settled in some of these areas didn't have a lot and in the early days there were no stores anyhow. Hunting was necessary for survival. Time passes but hunting becomes a tradition. There's still lots of forest land in the south eastern states. Poor people there still have to hunt out of necessity. My own family has been in this exact position. When Mom was a girl and for that matter when I was a boy there was never enough money down south. A deer will feed a family for a week or longer. Lots of deer around. So many the state has to cull the herd almost every year because not enough of them were hunted. Fishing was very much the same way. It put food on the table. We're talking a small, just slightly bigger than a row boat with an outboard motor and a small net. Not standing on shore with a pole and hook.

Hunting is so common in these parts of the country that nobody is surprised to see a gun cabinet in the living room. It's pretty much expected.

But woe to the kid who should even think about touching it without Daddy telling them to do so. No sitting down that night.

That's the thing. People are raised around guns. Children know from a very early age that they are not to touch-and they don't. When they get old enough, they get taught how to use them and how to take care of them and most importantly to respect the weapon.

Bob

August 21, 4:22am

Bob,

Just a quickie during my coffee break - ooh, that could be taken a couple of ways! ;)

Yeah, I think it will be fun for Cindy, Tina, Susan and Nikki to have a Brit sister in their lives! As I said before, Oyster and Frank dreamt this up months ago, so Oyster may well have forgotten that possible plot by now.

Sorry, I did understand that Dee married Suzette five years later, but that said, I bet they fooled around well before that!

Jerry Lee Lewis alienated his Brit fans as soon as it came out into the open that he'd married a 13YO lass, never mind the fact that she was his second cousin - his career never really recovered in the UK after that. BTW, I also listen to a lot of 50/60's music. I'm a big fan of the Beatles and I love Elvis too.

The version of Halleluiah that Ezzy was referring to was the original by Leonard Cohen - I love it, it's on Youtube, about 8million views. My favourite version (but I'm very biased) is when I heard Nell sing it at a school concert about a year ago - she had the audience spellbound and more than a few moist eyes by the end of her performance, including mine! She sang it accompanied by just her music teacher playing the piano - very simple and totally beautiful. For two beautiful but very contrasting versions, check out Alexandra Burke and Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah (both on Youtube). I checked out that version by K D Lang - that too is a lovely interpretation - thanks for the heads-up.

BTW, as I live alone, I spend a lot of time on the 'net or doing college work, playing music in the background and I rarely watch TV - I love Youtube, as it's such a vast source for music, both popular and rare tracks, both professional and talented amateurs. I use a little program that rips the audio content from the video and converts it to an MP3 file. Now, you may think that is wrong of me, but as Frank once said to me, it's no worse than making a cassette recording off the radio (something all music centres can do out of the box!). I do also buy a lot of music too, so I'm not a complete cheapskate!

I like your paperweight - very colourful and abstract. Is that a hobby of yours? I know it's not quite related, but Frank once took me to this little glass foundry in the Lake District, where you could watch people doing glass blowing. I was absolutely mesmerised by it and Frank had a job to pull me away!

Right, back to work!

Cheers, Janet (I feel like being 'her' today!)

August 21, 6:52am

Bob,

Lunch break now!

I'm on my travels this afternoon and the rest of the week, so three lonely nights in motels. I'll be working long hours so I'll email you when I can the rest of the week. I have made a decision though - I'm going out with Magenta, Matt and Richard Friday night. Mag's going to tell him in advance more detail about my past, she's going to explain how Frank 'rescued me' and how close we are, but she'll leave it at that. She'll also explain that I'm unsure just how far I want to go with a relationship at the moment. After your explanation in yesterday's email, I now understand far better why you think I shouldn't mention the 'lover' part of my relationship with Frank to a potential partner (or even a new friend).

My only issue now is, and I'm thinking hypothetically, what should I do if a future partner finds out about my true relationship with Frank? Do I deny it? Tell him to mind his own business? Or just fess up? I asked Magenta this same question - she said "you'd tell him to fuck off" - yeah, told you she's blunt! It also crossed my mind last night that had I followed your advice the first time and not told Brad in full about Frank, that I may still be with him. Oh well, lesson learned! There, that's the second time I've admitted to you I was wrong - see, females can do it! I'm still not sure what I want to do yet though (in terms of a relationship). Time away from the comforts of home in a motel room will give me time to reflect and may help me think more clearly.

On to your last email:

It's very hard to legally own a gun in the UK. But that doesn't stop the crims getting hold of them, and most of our police are unarmed (well, apart from carrying a night stick -yeah right, not much use against a guy pointing a shot gun at you). Farmers are allowed shotguns and you can own a shotgun for sport shooting etc. Rifles and hand guns too, but under strict control and only for shooting at properly regulated gun clubs. You have to be police checked and can't get a gun license if you have a criminal record (yeah, like that's going to stop a crim!). You certainly cannot just casually carry a gun around with you, even with a license. To/from home to gun club it must be properly locked in your car. Can't take it on public transport or walk with it to the club either. I know this because one of my colleagues is a fan of sport guns and I'm a nosy bugger and ask lots of questions!

But yeah, because of these rules we don't seem to have the amount of gun crime that you guys in the US suffer from (at least, as it is reported on the news to us over here - perhaps it is reported as worse than it really is?)

I can quite understand how it would be 'the norm' for kids to be brought up with and learn how to use and respect guns in the more rural areas of the USA. And I guess that 'in the right hands' there is nothing wrong with gun ownership.

I know next to nothing about guns, but I understand that a shotgun at very close range is a dangerous weapon even in unskilled hands - sort of point it in the general direction of the person you wish to maim and you can't go wrong - right?

The scenes that Oyster described in 'Cindy' - are they all too possible and would Cindy really have got away with killing that guy in reality, or is Oyster taking artistic license? I have to ask because from a UK perspective, if Cindy had used a gun over here, even in self-defense as it clearly was, she'd more than likely get charged with manslaughter - crazy eh? Yeah even at 14 - the age when you're considered criminally responsible for your actions in the UK can be as young as 10, depending on the nature of the crime.

Frank once told me that if a crim broke into my house and let's say I pushed or kicked him down stairs and he broke a leg or something, that I could be done for grievous bodily harm (known as GBH here) or aggravated assault, that the crim could successfully sue me and I could end up doing time. Now how absolutely stupid is that then? The UK law says an individual is allowed to use 'reasonable force' in self defense. How ambiguous is that? Define 'reasonable force' to me! (certainly not the force I used on my Mother and her two cronies that night!). This and other stupid fucking laws are enforced on us by our European liberal cousins in Brussels, as the UK is part of the EC (European community) we now have to adopt their laws as well as our home-grown ones.

Right, leaving the office now. Should be at my motel about 7PM tonight

Cheers, Janet (yeah, still Janet for now!)

August 21, 2:29pm

Janet,

A quickie during your coffee break? You're right, that could be taken in different ways but since Frank isn't in the country...

That marriage to his little cousin did a lot to tank Jerry's career here too. As for the Beatles and Elvis this is where we diverge. If I never heard either one of them again I would consider myself fortunate. Sick to death of Led Zepplin too.

As for Dee and Suzette getting physical before they married I guarantee it. To start with google her and take a look at what she's like now at 51. OK I think she's had some work done but I can imagine her physical charms would have been considerable. Pretty girl in other words. Also her personality is very strong. There is nothing shy and retiring about her. They had a TV show for one season that followed them and the family around. I wanted to like it. I really did. Turns out I can't stand her personality. She is several stereotypes rolled into one. She has this whole New Jersey Italian thing that makes her extremely unattractive to me. Don't like her attitude either. Thinks she's Gods gift and all. May be pretty but where it really counts she is a very ugly woman.

I gave Cohen's Halleluiah a listen too. But the way Ezzy described Rebecca singing it I just knew he was listening to a woman singing it in his head when he wrote that. Some songs just need a woman's voice. This is one of them. Another excellent example of that is A Whiter Shade of Pale. I prefer Doro's version. Though now that I 've done a little research on the song I have got to give Annie Lennox's version a try. Love her voice. Would love to hear Amy Lee from Evanescence do a version as well. Her voice has this haunting quality that really gets me.

As for the computer program, what is it? I've been wanting the right version of Kiss' God of Thunder that matched what they played live. When you are in the 8th row at a Kiss show and Gene kicks up the bass solo on that you can feel your chest cavity resonate with the sound. That song is all bass too. The closest version I have found is on a vid.

I used to tape stuff off the radio all the time for Sarah. They were what is known in the US as Mix Tapes. Usually the kind of thing girlfriends/boyfriends would do for each other. It took me the better part of 5 days to get Never Let You Go (Angel Eyes) without the DJ talking over part of it or cutting it short.

The paper weight is the second thing I have ever made. My total project count currently stands at 2. This will be changing shortly. I have been waiting for fall to start taking classes. So starting October 13 I will be working with glass every Saturday for a month. Then I can take the more advanced class for another month. After that I can book solo time in the studio to do my own thing. I think I'd like to do a couple more paper weights or Christmas ornaments before the class starts though. Kind of depends on time. There is another glass studio much closer to home but they have this whole serious artist mentality that turns me off. Their space is also seriously disorganized. Not good to be wandering around with 2500 degree (1400C) molten glass. So the place I went too is a 93 mile drive but a completely different atmosphere. These people are teaching glass blowing because they want to share their passion not just because they are trying to keep the studio open. In the pictures of the place I used the crucible on the left.

Glass is the first art form I have ever really been interested in. It started back in 2001 when Mom and I went up to the Art Museum to see an exhibition of glass by Dale Chihuly. It was the first time in my life I had ever seen more than one thing in an artwork. to me the Mona Lisa is just a painting of a kind of plain looking woman. But when I looked at the glass, in one piece I saw ocean waves, I saw dolphins jumping. I saw different things depending on the angle I looked at it from. That's where the interest started but it kind of sat on the back burner for a long time. It got rekindled when Mom and I went up to The Henry Ford Museum in Michigan. They have a glass studio where for a fee you can make a pulled glass flower. The techniques are even more simple than the paper weight required so it's probably an even better first project. This year I decided I really wanted to do it and started looking for studios. I drug Mom and Sarah up to the glass shop with me. Mom took the pictures of me making it. I took them up there mostly so Mom wouldn't worry. She was a basket case at the Ford--and ever so much fun to be with too-until I had finished anyway. Then all was right with the world again.

I've never sent music files before so I am sending this to you and back to myself to see if it works. You're getting A Whiter Shade of Pale by Doro Pesch and Going Under by Evanescence.

Bob

August 21, 5:26pm

Janet,

Email me when you can? How dare you have a life outside talking with a penpal!! Since sarcasm doesn't come off well in email, THAT WAS SARCASM.

Glad I was able to better explain why I suggested you not tell Brad about horizontal activities. Sarah chooses not to know what I did with who before we met. As part of my relationship with her though she does have the right to know IF she ever chooses to ask. Her choice. Sarah knows all about my question policy. Ask me any question you want, just make sure you want to hear the answer first. Your future partner will have the same right to ask. He will just as much have the right NOT to ask.

Remember girlie, not volunteering something is not the same thing as hiding it or lying. Now on to your hypothetical scenario. Just because its hypothetical doesn't mean it isn't possible. The Boy Scouts have a motto that's served me well. Be Prepared. Isn't that why the car has a spare tire? Anyhow.

"what should I do if a future partner finds out about my true relationship with Frank? Do I deny it? Tell him to mind his own business? Or just fess up?"

It really depends on the exact nature of the relationship at the time. Richard the friend gets "you'd tell him to fuck off". As a friend, he does not have the right to know this. It really is that simple.

As a new boyfriend I would say prefer not to discuss it as it happened before you were dating and or before you met depending on who this hypothetical person is.

In a committed relationship however following Magenta's advice is about the worst thing you could do. Sarah had the right to know all about my past long before we were married. Remember girlie a couple is committed to each other before they get married. It ain't the piece of paper and ceremony that does that.

So if your committed partner found out about your life with Frank-let's say he found Brad and Janet. Then fessing up would be necessary. Make it clear that there had been no sexual activity since before you were dating etc. Tell him it was an extremely important part of your healing process and that it was one of the reasons you were now able to have a relationship with him. Then go on to tell how Frank is now like the father you never had. Hiding it or lying about it would make me question what else was being hidden and how much I could trust you.

This is of course assuming they were to get some kind of clue in the first place. The only way that would happen is if somebody who knows were to let something slip. OR if they happened to find Brad and Janet. Nothing wrong with sharing erotic lit with a partner. More than enough stories on sol to make avoiding an author called Frank easy to do.

"It also crossed my mind last night that had I followed your advice the first time and not told Brad in full about Frank, that I may still be with him."

Nope. That offer he made to let you keep sleeping with Frank was just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too creepy. To me it shows he had a rather large inferiority complex. I think it's better that Brad left the picture when he did. BEFORE you got too attached to him emotionally. You yourself were thinking pulling back was the best course of action.

"Oh well, lesson learned! There, that's the second time I've admitted to you I was wrong - see, females can do it!"

Yes they can, but you are the only one that ever has.

"I'm still not sure what I want to do yet though (in terms of a relationship). Time away from the comforts of home in a motel room will give me time to reflect and may help me think more clearly."

I am sure for you. You need to give yourself time. Don't stress out about it. The French said it best, whatever will be, will be. Start a new friendship. If it becomes something more so be it. If you get a new friend out of it, well that's not exactly a loss now is it? Baby steps girlie!

Guns

We do have more gun crime than you do. On the other hand nobody ever set up police at train stations in Canada to keep American sports hooligans out of the country. Italy has done that to keep Brits out. So overall crime statistics might be interesting to look at. One thing I can tell you is it kept Japan from a land invasion in World War II. The Emperor was asked why they hadn't. He said it was because there was a gun behind every blade of grass.

I knew your laws were far more restrictive than ours. That's why I mentioned it.

As to what would happen to Cindy really depends on what state. A couple of years ago in an upscale suburb a vehicle was broken into. Among the things taken were a set of house keys. The thieves went back to the house later to rob it and 3 were shot by the home owner. One was killed outright. Prosecutor refused to file charges. Town did have a minor fit because handguns are illegal in that specific town. They had to back off from public pressure though.

As to what would happen in Alabama, the prosecutor would be called but as soon as he saw the evidence the case against Cindy would be dropped and shotgun returned. In a rural part of the south the prosecutor would be called to come out to the scene. Cindy most likely would have never even been taken into custody. Especially if the dead guy were well known to law enforcement.

In Texas the cops wouldn't have even bothered the prosecutor.

In Louisiana the gators would have been fed. No need for the law at all.

As to the shotgun. The longer the distance the more ineffective it is. Unless loaded with deer slugs. Being hit with a shot gun at say 50 yards would really piss off a lot of people but that's about it. Now at 2 yards inside a trailer it should have blown him out of his shoes. I wasn't kidding when I said the second and third shots shouldn't have been necessary. I have been told by more than one law enforcement officer that the single best weapon for home defense is a shotgun. Specifically because the shot spreads out and you do not have to be a marksman to use it. Point it in the right general area and let fly. All that said I do not own a gun nor do I feel the need to do so.

Bob

August 22, 6:09pm From Magenta.

Bob,

just seen your email tonight - for some reason it was in the my junk filter, don't know why as i added you to my contact list.

i was only pulling your leg pretending to be hurt that you wanted rid of me! and yes, the BF is still cool about it. anyway, i run his life for him, so tough if he aint cool with it! ;) (i'd say that to his face too!)

ok, so i wondered what we were doing wrong, so, ok, you say we shouldn't be joined at the hip, right? i wondered why it didn't feel as good as folk said it should - damn! 7 years down the pan! ;)

me and Matt already talked about Vic and the things she should and shouldnt tell a BF - talked about her quite a lot actually - yeah be both love that girl to bits. i managed to upset her saturday saying a few home truths, but i did apologise monday - she said not to worry and that she knew i was sort of right. anyway, Matts view - he said he wouldnt want to know about a girls past sex life, he said all he would want to know about was if a potential GF had a string of short-term BF's before him - he would want to know that cos statistically, he too could be a short-term BF. but Matt said what a girl had got up to with a previous BF was her business, so long as she didn't use that experience to hurt the new BF. i'm even more blunt about it - i told Vic that its simply none of the blokes business and that she should just simply tell any potential BF that she's very close to Frank and thats all the BF needs to know in my book. if the BF cant handle Vic treating Frank like a dad, which is what Vic wants to do now, then that BF can fuck off in my opinion- no more Brad-type wankers for my sis Vic! yeah, i'm blunt remember?