Hey Mom, I'm Home! - Cover

Hey Mom, I'm Home!

 

Chapter 2

“Hey Mom, I’m Home!” (It’s Jim again)

“Mom left, I’m in charge!” (My sister Nancy, 17, stacked, 5ft6)

“Can you help me with a lesson from my drama class?” I asked.

“Probably, what’s in it for me?”

“Exactly what I thought you would say. My best friend gave me two tickets to go see Blake Shelton. They are yours, if you help me,” I said putting them in my shirt pocket.

“What do I have to do?”

“Go on a date with me!”

“Hell no!”

“All right, I think Rita from across the street will go. I’m gonna go over there and ask her?” I said.

I turned and she grabbed my shirt, holding me back. “Tell me more about this ‘date thing,’” she said pulling me back to her.

“Well, I have to write things down as they happen. It’s taking a date and breaking it down into its different elements. Asking a girl, or guy. How do they accept, what do you wear, how do you go there, where do you go, is there a sexual element, what happens during the date? Is it what you expect?”

“Wait a minute, did you say something about a sexual element. What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Oh, things like how does your date make you feel when you ask then out, take them out and come back home.”

“That’s pretty heavy for a sophomore theatre drama class. I thought you had a girlfriend,” Nancy asked.

“I thought I did too, but apparently I missed her telling me that we’ve broken up. She’s dating a college student now,” I said embarrassed over the whole thing.

“I guess I can go with you. What about sex?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you are a nice guy on our date, would you expect kissing and stuff?”

“Only if you would on a regular date anyway. I’m just talking about going to a movie together, maybe holding hands if that wouldn’t freak you out too much.”

“And if I do all of this for you, you will give me both Blake Shelton tickets?”

“Sure will, sis. Let’s shake on it?” I said putting my hand out to her. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into her and gave me a nice kiss. “That’s how you seal a deal. When do we do all of this stuff, anyway?”

“After dinner tonight, go up to your room, and wait for my knock, please,” I proposed.

“I can do that. Take care little brother!”

“Thank you, Nancy, this is very sweet of you. I love you!”

“Save it for later Jimmy-Boy!”


(This is all made up. There is no school drama class dating event. I bought the tickets online over a month ago. I just want a chance to kiss and feel up my sister for one night.)


After dinner and changing clothes, I knocked on her door, waiting for her.

“Who is it?”

“Jim ... James Hamden, may I come it?”

“Certainly James,” my sister said playing my game with me.

“Excuse me, but I’ve been wanting to get you alone to talk to you. Do you have a minute?”

“Yes. Please sit on the bed.”

“Are you sure that’s all right?”

She giggled again. “James, what is it?”

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