You Want Me to Do What?
Chapter 1
I was minding my own business, walking down the hallway to my bedroom when through their bedroom door ... I heard my mother's voice, "You Want Me To Do What?"
"Honey, calm down?" dad yelled back, "All of my buddies and all of their wives..."
"I don't give a tinker's dam about what your buddies and their wives are doing. I was a good girl when we metand I still am! I will NOT do any of your perverted ... things. What's wrong with good old fashioned sex, anyway?" she said.
"MEN!" she said ripping open her door, catching me listening.
"I suppose you're just as kinky as your old man, aren't you?" she said walking away.
"But Mom—I don't know what you're even talking about. What's ... perverted?"
She had stopped, but walked away yelling, "BOYS!" and headed downstairs.
I knocked on their door. "Janie?" dad answered.
"No Dad, it's me Jeff. Pardon me for just a minute. I know this is really personal, but what is it she's going on about anyway? I lost my girlfriend just two weeks agoand she didn't mind anything 'new and improved.'"
"All I've asked her to do to me ... is to give me a blow job. With me possibly ... reciprocating as well. She was raised in a very sheltered environment. We didn't have sex until we were married. For God's sake, don't tell her that I've told you any of this? Anybody in this house with testicles might just loose them, all right?"
"Sure thing Dad, have you ever discussed ... anal?"
"Good God No! To her an ass is only used to eliminate waste. Again, you tell her any of this and we both will be singing castrato in the church choir."
Laughing at that I said, "OK dad, I'm heading downstairs to get a snack before bed. If you don't hear from me in 20 minutes, Call 911!"
"Good luck," he said slapping me on the shoulder and closing the door.
"Hey beautiful," I said entering the kitchen going straight to the refrigerator. I found the fixings for a turkey sandwich. I got out the turkey, the mayoand the milk. I went into the breadbox and found enough bread.
She hadn't moved since I walked in, "Excuse me" I said getting a knife and sitting down.
She moved enough for me to do what I had intended.
"Why did you just call beautiful?" she said now facing me.
While I was making my sandwich, I started a list, "Cute faceand nice dimples."
I spread my mayonnaise and offered, "Pretty blonde hair and upturned nose."
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