Chapter 23

Randi and Brock said their goodbyes just before two a.m. Brock figured it would be after 3:30 a.m. before he collected his stuff from the hotel and got home to bed.

Randi had other ideas.

"Let's just crash here tonight," she said when they got back to the Ritz. "I'm sure Danny wants to get home. I've kept him hopping for 14 straight hours and he has another hour drive after he drops us off. Plus, you have to be exhausted."

Brock took a deep breath. He knew he could go to sleep sitting in the car. He had played a nine-inning baseball game in 90 degree heat before spending the next 10 hours alternating between annoyed, bored and happy.

"Separate rooms if you want," Randi added. "I already told Mom I probably wouldn't be home tonight."

"Yeah, let's just stay here," Brock agreed. "Danny has done a great job. He should get home and get some rest."

Randi dismissed the driver and slipped him a very healthy tip to help insure his discretion. The back was supposed to be soundproof but Randi really didn't want the private conversations she had shared with Brock to become public. Brock and Randi held hands while waiting for the elevator and inside the car once it arrived.

"So, any thoughts about sleeping arrangements?" Randi broached. "I mean, I've never actually woken up with a guy before."

Brock gave a slight chuckle. Randi wasn't going down without a fight. Then again, he thought with a smile, she might go down with no fight at all.

"We can cuddle if you want," he decided. "But, Randi, I'm beat. I don't want you to be offended if I'm asleep 30 seconds after my head hits the pillow."

"I'm tired too," she agreed. "A lot more tired than I hoped I'd be. We should have just stayed here the last time."

"Then we would have been in separate rooms because you were still pissed at me then," Brock pointed out as the doors opened on their floor.

"True, but you could have made it up to me," she replied, stifling a yawn. Randi didn't even veer toward where her clothing was stored. She kicked off her shoes and unzipped her skirt before the door was closed. The skirt was pooled on the floor a second later. She pulled her top over her head and tossed it aside before unhooking her bra and letting it fall. She managed to be down to only the scanty pair of panties Brock had seen her in earlier by the time she crossed the sitting room and entered his bedroom.

She pulled the comforter down and crawled between the sheets while Brock got undressed. Once he had joined her, she gave him a long, soft kiss.

Then she curled up on his shoulder and fell asleep.

Brock awoke when the morning sunlight came streaming through the curtains that he hadn't closed the night before. Randi was still nestled beside him, with a leg thrown across his waist. His hand rested atop her panties on her hip and he could feel her distended nipple pushing against his side.

He glanced down at her tangled blonde hair and turned his head to kiss her on the forehead. He heard her smack her lips a couple of times and felt her eyelashes flutter against his neck.

"This is really nice," she said in a soft, sleepy voice. "I wasn't sure I would like it but I think I could get used to waking up this way."

Brock craned his neck to see the alarm clock on the bedside table. Randi seemed to understand what he was doing because she asked, "What time is it?"

"A little after seven o'clock," he said. He felt far too rested to have been asleep only five hours.

"Wake me again in two hours," Randi murmured.

"Do you want to get up now and head home?" Brock asked.

"No," Randi replied. "I want to roll on top of you and spend the rest of the day making love with you. But I'll settle for having your arms around me while I sleep for a couple of more hours."

"What time is checkout?" Brock inquired.

"Tomorrow," Randi answered. "I booked the suite for two days. I figured if we were out until four or five we wouldn't be up to leave by 11. Now either shut up and let me sleep or roll over here on top of me."

Brock shifted slightly, as though he was going to take Option Number 2, but then settled back down and let Randi resume her spot on his shoulder.

"Tease," she remarked.

"You're one to talk," Brock replied. He kissed her forehead again to show her he was kidding with her. "You prance around in nothing but your panties then fall asleep as soon as we hit the bed."

"But you said... ," Randi began before stopping.

"Screw you," she said.

"Nope, you had your chance but decided to sleep," Brock rejoined.

"You're not going to let me get back to sleeping, are you?" Randi muttered.

"I'll shut up," Brock promised, once again kissing her on the top of her head and allowing her to drift off to slumber as he softly stroked her pale hair.

They slept for a while longer but this time it was Randi who awoke first. Brock's hand had slipped from her hip and now rested on her butt. His fingers were only a scant inch or two from her pussy, which began to tingle as soon as she realized where she was and what she was wearing (practically nothing).

Brock's other hand still rested on her tresses that spread across his chest. She decided that she would awaken him as gently as he had her. She planned to shift upward slightly and kiss him awake. Then she caught a whiff of her breath and decided that wasn't such a great idea. Instead she stayed where she was and kissed him in the two places she could reach – his shoulder and his jaw.

It took a minute for Brock's eyes to open. It took him a second longer to realize his hand was practically sandwiched between Randi's butt cheeks. He was trying to figure out how to move it without waking her when he felt her kisses start again.

"You know, you're right," he said. "This is a nice way to start the morning."

"Give me a key to your house and I'll wake you up this way every morning," Randi offered.

Brock shifted his hand back to her hip and she let out a frustrated groan. She had almost managed to shift until his hand was on her mound.

"I need to brush my teeth," she said.

"Me, too," Brock replied. "Except my toothbrush is at the house."

"I have one for you," Randi said. "You don't really think I ever planned to let you go home last night, do you?"

"Did you bring more clothes for me?" he asked and felt Randi nod.

"For today and for tomorrow," she said. "What we don't have is any security. So it looks like we're stuck in here for the rest of the day. Whatever shall we do to occupy ourselves?"

"I hear there is a 'Patently Obvious' marathon on TV," Brock said with a smile that Randi couldn't see. "I know one its stars, so that might be cool."

"Do you think it would be cool to watch the 14-year-old me on television while the 18-year-old me sits naked beside you?" Randi asked.

"Beside me?" Brock replied. "Not so much. Astride me? That might be another story."

He gave an involuntary shudder.

"No, I have to admit that I don't want to see the 14-year-old you anywhere near me if the 18-year-old you is naked in the room," Brock said.

"I think we should leave the TV off then," Randi suggested, moving her hand down Brock's chest to the top of his boxer briefs. He responded by sliding his hand up her torso until it rested on her bare breast.

"TV is definitely off," Brock answered.

Randi didn't bother to dress while she and Brock brushed their teeth. He watched her breasts bob in time to her brushing motions and couldn't help but smile. For something so mundane, he also found it remarkably exciting.

Then again, Brock thought, perhaps it was just Randi he found exciting. She was certainly sexy. And there was nothing child-like about her body. He had found that out when she wanted him to pick out her dress for her.

He had understood from the outset (or at least since his conversation with Jen) where Randi wanted their date to lead. But he had promised himself he wouldn't let things get out of control. It appeared that things were getting out of control, quite rapidly in fact.

He wasn't certain it was a good idea to be alone, practically naked, with Randi. Oh, there were parts of him that thought it might be one of the best ideas he'd ever had. Things had been progressing slowly with Meredith but that situation was far from resolved. The same was true for Susan. He knew she expected him to spend the nights with her during the team's visit to San Diego the following weekend.

As much as he had come to care about Randi Darby, he knew he couldn't promise absolute fidelity. He wasn't certain she would expect it from him but given some of her reactions the night before, he suspected she might.

He also wasn't sure if he cared more for Randi than he did for Meredith. He didn't know if he cared for Meredith more than Chastity. And he wasn't sure he cared for anyone more than he did Susan, Jen, Tara and Melanie.

Like so many things in Brock's life, he knew that any time he spent with Randi would be transitional. Neither of their schedules permitted anything more than a short-term fling. Brock's jaw set itself in a scowl when he realized that every relationship in his entire life would have to be categorized the same way.

He had known that a future with Chastity was a long shot, just as he knew from the outset the time he had spent with Melanie, Tara, Jen and Susan would be curtailed at some point. Perhaps that was why he found himself inexorably drawn back to Meredith Van Landingham. She, of all the women in his life, was the only who could promise something long-term. She didn't have the sister-like bond that he shared with the Foursome – and that they shared with each other. She didn't have a career that was as demanding as his – or more so in Chastity's case.

But Meredith was practically best friends with Randi. Having a short-term dalliance with Randi would put a serious crimp in any future plans he might have with Meredith. He decided to step back from the brink before things with Randi progressed any further than they already had.

Randi had watched a host of emotions play across Brock's face as they brushed their teeth. She had seen his gaze shift from her bouncing breasts to her face and finally to a spot on the wall somewhere.

It scared her somewhat that Brock's friends knew him so well, but once again, they had told her this was likely to happen at some point. In truth, Randi was surprised that things had gone as far as they had before it reached this point.

"I have a note," she said helpfully. "Actually, I have a note and an e-mail."

Brock blinked and pulled his gaze from the wallpaper back to Randi.

"What was that?" he asked.

Randi smiled.

"I said I have notes for you," she said. "One is from Meredith. The other is an e-mail from your friends. They told me I would probably need them."

"Notes?" Brock asked. He wasn't sure if she was talking about a primer for getting naked with him or a list of things he would need to accomplish while ravaging Randi in order to stay in their good graces.

Randi disappeared for a moment and came back with an envelope and a folded piece of paper. She handed him the paper first.

"I know you've been told about things I've done," she admitted with regret.

Brock looked up from the message to see her standing there, looking every bit like an 18-year-old girl.

"Don't look so surprised," Randi said. "I've kept in touch with them while I was on tour. I knew all about your last hurrah with each of them and I know there is still one left on your tour. I know you had to be practically coerced into even sharing a bed with me last night."

"Coerced is probably too strong a word," Brock said gently. "I admit I was uncomfortable because of our age difference. That still bothers me but not as much. I realized that it's not really a big deal so long as all parties are consenting. But it's not the only thing that bothers me."

"I know you probably think I'm nothing but a skank," Randi said sadly. "I know I basically sold myself to make it on to TV and in music."

"I don't think that and that's not what I was worried about," he replied, reaching out and putting his hand on the side of her face. "My biggest worry has nothing about you but about me. Randi, I think we both will agree that whatever happens, it will only be a stopover for you. In six months, you'll be climbing the charts and starring in a hit TV show. You'll grow past me and I'll wind up where I've always found myself – trying to figure out why good things don't seem to last for me."

He was surprised when Randi nodded her agreement.

"I wish you were wrong," Randi said. "But I don't think you are. I'm 18 and you're 24. I'm just getting ready to experience life for the first time. I might actually have control of my destiny for once. Our schedules will always be in flux. You've seen how difficult that can make things. But if you think about it, that's what the visits to your old girlfriends have been about. They've been about letting you put that part of your life behind you.

"When you left California the first time, it was so you could bury a portion of your life that you didn't want to have any more. I think if you're honest with yourself, leaving North Carolina was for the same reason. You knew before anyone else that a single relationship with one of the four wouldn't work. So you tried to accomplish things the same way that worked before. But they kept holding on to you this time. You couldn't really be free to have the sort of life you want – that you need – because they kept pulling you back to the life you were ready to leave. They finally understand that. Even Susan gets it now, I think. They couched their feelings in jokes and in sex. But they finally get what you've been saying for the past four years. It's their way of saying good bye to the old times. When they come out to stay, you'll say hello to the next part of your lives together."

Brock stared at Randi in amazement. She had put into words something that had troubled him since he had found his way into bed with Jennifer Miles.

Wordlessly, Randi handed over the familiar purple envelope. Brock had received a card in an envelope identical to this one three times a year since Meredith Van Landingham left his life the first time. Without even seeing the writing on the outside, he knew who it was from.

"She said you'd recognize the envelope," Randi said. Inside, like all the times before, rested a card. He slid it out and opened it.

'Brock, ' (it read)

"I know this is probably going to be a hard decision for you (no pun intended). It shouldn't be. Randi is like the sister I've always wanted instead of the one I got. She needs someone like you right now. No, she doesn't need someone like you. She needs you. I think I've always known I would have to share you with others. Maybe that is why I reacted the way I did those years ago. I wasn't able to accept it. This time I'm certain that whatever happens won't have any impact on the way I feel about you.

"Randi needs you to help her get past some of the decisions she's made in her life. In time, she'll move on. But I won't. I won't leave your side. I won't leave your life. You won't leave my heart. You never have. Even when I thought it had turned to stone, there was always one spot of warmth that kept me human. That spot was you. That spot was us.

"I told you I'd be back when I could be the woman you needed me to be. I'm finally that person, Brock. Wherever the night with Randi leads, I know where our future leads. If I need to share you with her for a month or a week or a year or a decade, I know I can, because I love you both. I love you both and I trust you both. I know that neither of your will hurt the other and neither of you will hurt me. She can have you next because I'll have you always.

"I know I keep confessing my love in writing and not in person. But I promise, after one more written declaration, the next time will be face to face.

"I love you,

"Meredith"

"What does it say?" Randi asked.

Brock looked up. He was surprised that Randi hadn't read it.

"She didn't show it to me," she answered his unasked question. "She said just to give it to you if I saw you wavering. You were wavering, weren't you?"

Brock couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips.

"Yes, I was wavering," he admitted.

"And now?" Randi asked. "Look, if you don't want this then we'll wait until you do. I think I understand – after talking to the people who really care about you – some things you might not even understand yourself. I think we could be good together. I like... , I don't know, I like that you look out for me. Even last night as I worried about possible damage to my career, I still liked that you were there for me. I realized that, right now, being with you is more important to me that what I do. I just want someone to treat me like I'm a person. I'm tired of everyone looking at me like I'm a dollar sign or a rung on a ladder or a notch on their bedpost. I want someone who looks at me like you do."

She leaned against the vanity for a moment, looking at the floor. Finally, she lifted her gaze to meet Brock's.

"Right now, you're the only person who looks at me that way," she continued. "You don't bow and scrape to me. You stand up to me when I'm wrong – or even when you just think I'm wrong. But you don't try to dominate me either. You let me make my choices. Last night, you offered to take a taxi home. You didn't insist I come with you. I would have but you didn't force me. You pointed out flaws in my values – flaws I already knew were there but ones that no one else would dare to make obvious. You even found a way to make others take a look at what they were allowing to happen. I hope this morning some of them are doing exactly as I'm doing: reassessing my priorities. Right now, my priority is to find a small piece of happiness and hold onto it for as long as I can."

She lifted herself, still topless, into a sitting position on the sink.

"I know your future probably is with someone else," she continued. "I also know that person is probably my closest friend – the only other person in my life, outside of my mom, who has no trouble making sure I don't start to believe the public relations pieces they put out about me. I hope it is with her. I saw how she felt about you the first time I met her. When Meredith and I went swimming that first morning, she talked about nothing but you. At the time, I couldn't understand why she was so in love with you. But I could see she was. I heard more about her life and then more about your life as Meredith and I grew closer. Then I understood completely why she feels like she does. I understood because I started to feel the same way. Yesterday, she told me not to worry about last night. She said whatever happened was going to happen and she wasn't going to be mad. I worried until she sat me down and explained things."

"You need time to say goodbye to North Carolina and the life you thought that might lead to. You need time to assess where you're going to in the future and who you want to be at your side. I want to be the bridge to that for you. Will we find out that we never want to be apart again? Maybe we will but probably not. So we'll muddle through until one of us reaches the point where it is time to move forward. Then we'll transition our relationship just like you've done with Melanie, Susan, Tara and Jen. In 20 years, I hope we all have Thanksgiving and Christmas and Fourth of July together every year. I hope we share our children's birthdays and their high school graduations. I hope when the inevitable comes to pass and one of us leaves this earth, the rest of us gather around the grave with our arms around each other and share the grief we'll all feel."