Chapter 1: Dreams and Reality

She could tell that her screams thrilled Gage to the bone. With each impact her body would writhe, her breath catch and then explode. Her tears were his pleasure, the way her back arched drove him on to ever harder efforts until, finally, she collapsed. She had offered him everything, her obedience, her mind, her body, and soul. Gage took them and made them his without a single regret and no small measure of happiness. At least in her most recent dreams. Reality was entirely different.

Jamie woke up covered in sweat, shaking, and aroused. The dream teasing her as it slowly faded away; still, she remembered enough to piece it together with others. It was like a puzzle slowly being put together. Each time she had snippets of a dream to add to the puzzle the whole picture grew a bit more. This was one of her strengths, putting puzzles together into a coherent whole; sometimes, figuring out the picture before most others would even consider what the pieces meant. It was part of why she ended up in her Naval Rating as a CT and made Second Class Petty Officer well ahead of the curve. She was positioned to make First Class upon re-enlistment, but declined. She'd instead chose to return to civilian life and go to school and earn a degree and do something else with her life; something that did not include the military as a career. She enjoyed her stint in the Navy and would not have done anything differently if she could go back and do so. It helped shape her and show her more about herself than she'd known before she enlisted. Now she had a new goal, one that would shock her father and mother (had she still been alive).

One of the things she'd learned about herself is that she was one who lived to serve others; their happiness was hers. She'd do just about anything if it would make someone she was with happy; in fact, it nearly got her and an officer in a lot of trouble. They'd gotten lucky though. It was through the officer in question, the one she had the relationship with that was frowned upon by the military. It was through her relationship with him that she realized she enjoyed having a man dominate her.

I, previously of the US Army and now fellow student at the University of Hawaii, Hilo campus, was her goal. She would be mine and I would be hers, if she had her way. To hear her tell it, I was able to make her melt with a look, thrill her with my voice, and put her on the brink of orgasm with a simple touch! I knew I affected her but never that it was to such a degree.

I'm Gage Warner Folkvar. My name can be attributed to my mother. She has this thing for words and meanings. This extends into names; specifically my name in this case as she researched the names she would consider to come up with one that had real meaning behind it. Taken as a whole it can be read to mean, "Oath keeper, protector of the people". The Folkvar family line, so I've been told, comes from a line of men and women who have literally been protectors of the people, the members of their villages. Sometimes I feel like it is genetic. It seems to be intrinsic to who we are as a group and individually.

I've always been a nice guy, with my friends specifically and most people in general. I have been the one friends would come to with their problems; often I was able to help them find their own answers. They knew they could trust me from experience. Nothing that anyone ever told me was passed on to another person; I always kept everything between me and the person telling me their troubles. This is how I ended up being where I am today. In all honesty, I still am the nice guy; I'm also something much more. I always was and will be. I will also always be there to protect them to the best of my ability. Yoda is correct, there is no try; there is only do or do not.

I got to know Jamie early on at the University of Hawaii (Hilo Campus), which is where we both found ourselves when we were discharged from our respective military services. I have family connections there, and the sprawling town of Hilo, and had applied for entrance into their Psychology program under the GI Bill. Jamie chose it for their Linguistics program. Her time in the Navy was all Pacific based and she found that she was very good with picking up languages; she had more than a smattering of Japanese, Korean, and even Mandarin. We first met in the waiting room for the counselor who works with veterans, especially those using the GI Bill. The GI Bill benefits come with requirements, just like everything else you get from Uncle Sam. Minimum grades, course loads, etc.

We had begun talking about her military experiences, in general terms, and she quickly became very comfortable around me and found that confiding in me was easy. Over time became much easier as she became absolutely sure that nothing she ever told me went beyond the two of us. You do not get my clearances and work as a Security Manager in charge of many millions of dollars of sensitive equipment and the people who run it all, by having loose lips.

I quickly learned, through our talks, and my personal observations, just how very intelligent a young woman Jamie is (certainly a match for me). She is strong (both mentally and physically), and kept ending up in relationships with men who she could wrap around her fingers and get them to do anything that she wanted. She found no long-term joy in such relationships.

She's always felt, and complained, that something was always missing. All of those men seemed to lack something, something she could not put a finger on and it was driving her mad. The only time this wasn't true was in a relationship while she was in the Navy with a very strong-willed officer who like to be in control and could not be twisted around her little finger.

Most of her past relationships were unsatisfying to her and we could not figure out why. They all treated her well, did all the things that a man is supposed to do, and were decent men, in and out of bed. They just did not make her blood boil, her heart race, her body ache for them. They were all good guys, nice guys, the ones you could take home to your parents without fear. In other words, no "Super Freaks".

When I finally started to believe I was beginning to understand what was missing we'd become such good friends that I was torn between what I was starting to believe she needed and I would love to offer her and the fear of (in my mind a HUGE) possibility of losing her completely. What a fucking mess. I might win and have a dream come true, or gamble away one of the best friendships in my life.

We'd been talking about how her boyfriends and how they just could not scratch that unknown itch that she had; it was the itch that we were trying to figure out. I had ideas from early on, but had considered them to be more personal fantasies than actual desires for her, so I never mentioned them. It wasn't until much later that I found out about the one relationship in which she had been very happy; that's when things finally clicked into place for me.

I cannot remember how many times I'd taken women out and had them and basically used them, but I was never with them. Every one of them became Jamie in my mind, when I conjured up those old scenes; I ravished her each time I revisited them in order to ease my aches for her. I should've known better, it only made need need that much more.

Lords, what would she think of me if she knew of my desires for her? How would she respond to being blindfolded, being made helpless through bondage; by being tormented by kisses, nibbles, licks and bite; and what about the sting of a crop, the impact of my hand on her rear, her breasts; the feel of my hand in her hair roughly yanking her head back as the other tightened around her throat?

She'd never expressed an interest in such things. Not even the slightest hint that I ever picked up on. Then again, I know myself and I miss hints all the time. I've made it a habit of telling friends, "Don't give me hints, just tell me straight up, or I'll never get it. I need to be hit with a brick wall." Most think I'm being funny, until they learn that I am not kidding. I've lost girlfriends over it. Hell, why do women get mad when a man tells them he doesn't get hints but needs to be told outright, and then proves it? I just don't get it.

We were comfortable enough together so it wasn't unusual for us to be at my place lounging about with me in just a pair of board shorts and her in shorts and a T-shirt that was just shy of being too tight in the hot weather, and yoga pants in the cool weather; I'd switch to light sweats.

Hilo is a very nice place on the Eastern side of the Island of Hawaii, also known as the Big Island. Throughout the islands it's considered cold when the temperatures drop to the sixties during Winter, while Summer temperatures reach into the nineties; the average runs in the eighties.

Hilo Bay is great for kayaking, fishing, and such. There are outrigger canoe teams that practice out there, and races, too. Just off of the Bay are the Lili'uokalani Gardens, which are beautiful and named for the last Monarch of the Kingdom of Hawaii. Beaches within biking distance, such as Onekahakaha which is behind a breaker wall of boulders and safe for non-swimmers and children; Four Mile beach, with it's brackish water cold pond off to one side where I used to spend so much time when I was younger; Coconut Island, which can be fun for snorkeling, the locals dive off of a rock tower on the little island. In all honestly, you can snorkel at all of the beaches. But, if you can't swim, stick to Onekahakaha, it's the safest. Hilo is not perfect, but it is home and there is nowhere else I'd rather be.

I was aware that she was trying to get my attention, but my desire to keep our friendship caused me to chose to be (of my own doing) "just friends". There's no better way to sabotage a possible relationship with someone you care about and want to be with than being told you are considered to be "just friends". Guy's hate it when their female friends tell them, "we're just friends". It's a great way to take a guy who damn near worships you and make him damn near hate you. I suppose it is the same for women. I just never told her I wanted to be "just friends" because it would have been an outrageous lie. I wanted more, much more, but I kept myself in check. Maybe it was silly of me, but it was, what it was.

It was typical to find Jamie and I got together at at my place a few times a week. Sometimes to work on our coursework for our degrees. I have to tell you, going through the military before going to college is a good idea. You learn the discipline necessary to do the work and not screw off. College is not high school; no one holds your hand and tells you what to do, or gets on your case. You are on your own; you live and die by your own actions, or lack thereof. Too many students go to college out of high school and fail because they do not understand the importance of time management, good study habits, and paying attention during lectures.

At other times we would be with various friends having a good time watching movies on my big screen TV, listening to music, or even jamming. I used to play percussion, but gave it up. I've taken up the Ukulele again, but enjoy playing the didgeridoo. I'm an amateur, but I love the sounds and rhythms of both instruments. The didgeridoo is both a simple and difficult at the same time. Our friends have guitars, steel slide guitars, bass guitars, ukuleles, and other instruments. We get some really cool jams going, but it's all just fun. We never expect to be playing before real audience.

Jamie and I work part-time year round because we take Summer courses, too. I worked in the Hilo Public library, and they really appreciated my work as I always did it quickly and efficiently and with no need for supervision. I guess I should mention that my family ties helped me land the job; one of my aunties used to work there. Jamie, on the other hand, worked at a pretty decent restaurant as a waitress, and while the work did not pay very much she made up for it in the tips that she pulled in. Both of our jobs meant that we were often on our feet for many hours at a time. It was our work, and being on our feet so much, that actually led to the first steps in learning more about, and opening up to, each other.

This is our story, it is not for the Puritanical and sexually repressed. It is the story of how Jamie found herself, with my assistance; how she slowly blossomed like a rare and beautiful flower before my eyes and became much more than either a friend or lover. Maybe, in reading this, you'll learn something about yourself, your lover, or the people around you that never made much sense to you before.

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Story tagged with:
Reluctant / Fiction / BDSM / DomSub / Rough /