Chapter 2

I lost my bet with Eddie when he boffed the bride in the employee restroom, and I had to buy him a week's worth of good weed, but the sight of her running out of the restroom with her hair all askew and her face pink and her dress half-unbuttoned in the back was worth it.

It wasn't the last time Eddie amazed me that summer with his success with women. I said before he was the most unlikely of guys to be a lady-killer. He was paunchy and disheveled and not handsome at all, but somehow women loved him. He had a mischievous gleam in his eyes, and maybe that was the reason. He always had a look on his face when he was around a pretty girl, a look that seemed to say, "What do you say we have a little quickie?". Whatever it was, girls were attracted to him, and they couldn't wait to get in bed with him.

And it wasn't just girls, it was their mothers, too.

I saw plenty of older women who had the hots for Eddie, and in fact they seemed even more eager than the young ones. I'll give you an example.

The wife of the president of the country club where we worked was a woman named Madison Freemantle. She was typical of the upper crust women we saw around the club -- tan, blonde, late 40s, in excellent shape from hours of tennis and golf every day, moved like a panther and had a killer smile. She came from money, she went to the best schools and belonged to the best social sets, and she oozed confidence from every pore. She used to walk through the kitchen on the way to the pool and she'd look right through the kitchen help, as if we weren't there.

Well, all of us except Eddie.

Eddie saw her one day as she was strolling through the kitchen, wearing a tiny little white bikini that rode up her ass, and he said to me, "How much you want to bet I can tap her before five o'clock?"

I had seen Eddie work his magic on the bride from a week or two before, but this seemed too much even for him. After all, this was Mrs. Madison Freemantle, wife of the president of the club. She was known for getting club employees fired on a whim. She was haughty, preening, a bitch in every way. It was impossible that she would stoop to having sex with a dishwasher, and especially a sloppy, overweight guy like Eddie.

"That's not even worth betting," I said. "She's impossible. You'll never get her to have sex with you."

Eddie smiled. "If you think so, then bet me. I guarantee you I'll have it done before five."

"Okay," I said. "If you're that stupid to make a bet like that, I'll bet you a hundred bucks you can't do it."

"Deal," he said. He had that sly little Eddie smile on his face, and I should have known that meant trouble for me.

The way he did it was masterful, and completely ballsy.

Mrs. Freemantle liked to sit around the pool with her lady friends and drink martinis and nibble on tiny little tea sandwiches, and she usually kept the waitress busy all afternoon serving her and her party. Eddie went to Sandy, the waitress, and asked her to do a favor for him. He persuaded her to tell the manager she was feeling sick and had to go home. I think Eddie promised Sandy he'd have sex with her that night, and that's how he got her to agree. Anyway, when Sandy told the manager she had to leave, Eddie volunteered to be a waiter for the afternoon. He wasn't the best-looking waiter, but he worked his charm on the manager, who was a woman named Theresa who also had the hots for him, and she agreed to let him put on a white shirt and black pants, comb his hair, and go out to the pool deck to serve the members.

Well, it didn't take long for Eddie to work his magic. There was a door from the kitchen to the pool, and every time I walked by it I could see Eddie had Mrs. Freemantle and her friends laughing and flirting with him, and the way they were looking at him it was obvious they all wouldn't mind jumping in the hay with him. He would come back to the kitchen for some more snacks after he picked up another drink order at the bar, and he had that smile on his face like he knew he was in for some fun today.