Chapter 14

It was a rarity. All four of the family sat down together for breakfast at nine on a Sunday morning fully dressed. It was expected of Zoë. She had chapel at eleven and had to get her charges sorted. Jerry and Emma had to collect the dogs at ten. Joanna had to be ready for Simon in six hours time.

Zoë left soon after they finished giving each an almost perfunctory hug and kiss. Joanna's hug was a little longer and a little tighter.

"Good luck, Jo love," she whispered in her ear.

Joanna squeezed her back. "Thanks."

The remaining three started to clear away. Joanna shooed Jerry and Emma out of the kitchen.

"I'll deal with it," she said. "Go and enjoy another coffee."

The two of them did as they were told.

Emma smiled at Jerry as they sat together on the sofa.

"She's in a right old tizz but on the other hand," she gurgled, "she's remembered to put on a dress that shows off her figure and her legs.

Jerry smiled back and nodded.

"I think, darling," went on Emma, "that you ought to collect the dogs on your own. I'll muddle about quietly upstairs but be on call."

"OK."

"It's just that I suspect that she wants to be left alone but would quite like you or me available."

"And better you than me, another woman and her mother."

"Yes, my darling. Sorry, it may be a bit early in the day for you but I need to kiss you."

They did so gently in understanding.

"What about this afternoon?" asked Jerry. "They need time on their own, don't you think?"

Emma nodded. "Let's make it a light lunch at the pub and take the dogs for an hour or so's walk so that they're alone when he arrives. We can then have a jolly tea before drifting off to let them say their goodbyes."

Jerry pulled her gently to him and kissed her cheek. "My best beloved psychiatrist," he said softly.

She smiled up at him.

"Stop it, Emma darling, or I'm going to have to make love to you."

She gave the gurgle of laughter he so loved.

"Blooming dogs and children," she growled. "Hemmed in we are and can't live our own lives."

Jerry smiled. "Want to change it?"

"No, my darling, 'cos despite them all you're still here with me."

"And you love them all."

"Yes."

"And I love you best of all."

He kissed her forehead.

Emma looked up at him. "I love you too so go and collect your wretched animals before I get all whiffly."

"One of those 'wretched animals' is yours."

"All right! Our wretched animals."

She elbowed him gently in the ribs. "Go on, you lazy oaf!"

Jerry climbed reluctantly to his feet. "I'd much rather stay with you," he said quietly.

She smiled gently at him and nodded.

He collected his chequebook from the study and went out through the kitchen. Joanna had cleared away but was muddling about to keep herself occupied. Jerry gently put an arm round her shoulders.

"I'm off to collect the dogs," he said.

Joanna turned into him and put her arms round his waist laying her head against his chest. Jerry put his other arm equally gently round her but said nothing.

"Dad?" she asked at length.

"Mm?"

"Why can I love you without anxiety?"

"Golly! Because there's no responsibility?"

She nodded.

"Because," he went on, "all that really matters to me is your mother's and my love for each other. If either you or Zoë rejected it me it would hurt us both terribly but it wouldn't destroy our love for each other. You might be a bit miserable at the time but it wouldn't affect your life as a whole."

"But what if Simon or I rejected each other?"

"It would be much more painful because in your case you've each offered a commitment to one another because I don't think Simon is the sort of chap to profess love just to get you into bed."

"Never!"

"Exactly, so he is offering commitment too."

She was silent for a while.

"Isn't it too early?"

"Possibly but if your feelings for each other are so strong isn't it worth exploring the relationship a bit before either of you actually makes a binding commitment, like getting engaged."

There was another long silence.

"That's rather what he said."

"I'm not surprised."

She looked up. "You like him, Dad, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, my sweet, but he's your man and it's up to the two of you to work it out together. I don't know but given more time together, having declared your love, you may both find it easier to rationalise your feelings and, it seems to me, you're a pretty rational minded person."

There was yet another silence.

"It's all well and good but bloody emotions get in the way."

Jerry gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Yes, Joanna my love, but quite often emotions and reason work pretty well together."

This time there was only a pause before Joanna released him and pulled his head down.

"You are a very special man," she said, "and Mum is the luckiest woman in the world to have found you." She kissed him gently. "Not only for herself but for Zoë and me as well." She kissed him again rather more forcefully. "Thanks, dearest Dad."

They drew apart and smiled at each other fondly.

'She really is a sweet girl, ' thought Jerry, 'but she's a funny mix; all adult, intelligent and assured but emotionally still an adolescent. I hope I got that right.'

It appeared that he had. She went and chatted with Emma and seemed to the latter to be totally relaxed. She joined Emma in the garden to do some desultory tidying and dead-heading of roses.

Jerry and the dogs returned. The dogs did not know where to put themselves. They greeted Emma effusively, especially Judy whose tail looked as though it might come off. They bounced Joanna and then tore round the garden checking for intruders before doing the same in the house. Hardly had the humans got their breath back than they were back again to say how pleased they were to be home.

"I think," said Jerry, "that a walk on The Plain is called for this afternoon."

Joanna did her best to stifle her look of pleasure but it did not go unnoticed.

Emma and Jerry were also quietly amused when Joanna at lunch time eschewed alcohol. They made sure they were away by quarter to three indicating being back for tea at half past four or five.

Joanne took post in the study so that she could see the drive. Simon did not arrive until ten past three by which stage she was in a stew. As his car pulled in through the gate she was so strung up that she rushed to the front door and yanked it open.

Simon got out of his car with a huge smile. At that stage Joanna's wits deserted her and she suddenly felt shy and inadequate. She was unable to move forward and greet him but stood on the step, her eyes down with her hands folded in front of her biting her lip. She was unable to look up.

Simon was momentarily disconcerted. He walked to her and took her hands. They did not unknit.

"Jo-Jo?" he asked softly.

Her eyes slowly met his.

"Jo-Jo?"

He raised her hands to his lips.

"What's the matter, Jo-Jo?"

With a sob Joanna came to life, pulled her hands away, put her arms round his neck and hugged him as tightly as she could.

"You're late," she whimpered. "I thought you might have changed your mind."

Simon's arms went round her for the first time and his heart swelled. He could hardly breathe.

"No," he whispered. "Never."

They clung to each other.

'Oh God!' thought Simon. 'She thought I was late, ten minutes after an eight hour drive. If she's that worried she must love me."

He said nothing and they continued to cling to each other. There was no kissing.

Eventually she released him and their eyes met. Both pairs were shining, not just with tears, but with happiness.

"Jo..." Simon started before he was smothered by Joanna's lips. It was only lips but they were warm and it was a kiss of love.