Chapter 2: Friendship

"We must be the most pathetic pair of graduates ever," I remarked. We were at Emily's one room apartment the same day we'd finished our finals. We were eating biscuit, Digestive Biscuits and juice.

"Yeah, we really make a weird pair, don't we?" she replied.

"Speak for yourself. I like this better."

"But shouldn't we be out there having fun with our friends, the people we've been in school with for four years. I mean there should be more to this," she said with emotion.

I knew that it bothered her, even when she never said anything. She'd learned to be alone most of her life, live the independent life. She'd tried to connect with others but they were either ignorant like I used to be or too stupid to recognize her offer of friendship.

I took her hand, in support. "I know and understand what you mean, believe me. It's not like we didn't try to connect with them, you know?" I tried to console.

"But we should be able to overlook that shouldn't we?"

"Yes, we should but think about it. This is one of those moments in our life we'd be able to look back upon and say 'that's where it all changed'. This is a momentous day for us. Should we spend it with people we'd have to pretend to like or should we spend it with people that mean a lot to us?" I said.

"I know what you know. But what if we didn't try enough? I mean look at us, four years of university education and it's just the two of us. There should be more, for me, for us." She was obviously distraught about this issue. I knew it had given her countless sleepless nights.

"Who are we to say that there should be more?" I asked looking at her. She was speechless so I continued. "I mean people spend their lives looking for friendship but here we are, true friends. I don't know about you, but fifty years from now, we'll be telling our kids about this particular moment. What would you tell them then? That we should have strove for more when we should have been grateful for what we've found?" I asked in a little passionate voice. Okay, maybe it was more than passionate. I'd gotten used to seeing Emily so in charge of her emotions and feelings that I'd almost forgotten that she was human.

But it was my job anyway. It was my job to help her regain that control whenever she loses it. It was my job to keep her on course whenever she veers off course.

She smiled and hugged me, a little awkwardly. "Thank you for being my strength, for being my friend."

"You make it pretty easy for me to be your friend."

"Yeah, I know. You'd be all alone if it wasn't for me?" she joked.

I don't know what happened then. I had a vision. A vision of what my life would be like if she wasn't in my life. I remembered all the little things she'd done since I'd known her, little things that had made life more meaningful. I had a sickening feeling in my chest. It was like someone had driven a knife through my heart. It was that painful, even if it was imaginary. It was no longer the thought of never making anything out of my life, the thought of never realizing my full potential or the thought of being another ordinary man to walk the face of earth that I feared the most; it was the thought of a life without Emily.

"What's it?" she asked concerned.

I came out of my reverie and smiled reassuring at her. "It was nothing, just a thought that came to me."

"Wow, it must have been a pretty strong thought. You looked like you'd seen a ghost for a moment there," she observed.

"Well, I didn't see a ghost. You must be losing your touch of reading my body expression," I lied.

"Whatever you say," she said in the least believing voice.

We were quiet for some time, each of us lost in thought. I remembered that before we entered the exam hall, she'd been telling something.

"So, you never finished telling me about your boyfriends," I started.

"Oh that, well believe me when I tell you that there's a lot to tell about that," she replied.

Emily had a love life that was fit for the movies. She was in a love triangle. She had a boyfriend already, but another guy had taken a liking to her and proclaimed his love for her. It wasn't that he said the L-word but his action spoke volumes of his liking for her. So there she was, in the middle of it all.

"I'm so confused. I mean, I'm in a relationship with Henry already, but Kennedy isn't making it any easy at all," she complained.

"I thought girls loved the whole boys chasing them thing?" I asked her.

"It's supposed to be cute but it's not funny anymore right now. I would have preferred it if he didn't pursue me like that."

"I honestly wish that I could give you a magical advise that could make it all easy for you but look at me, I don't even have a girlfriend, never been in a relationship."