The River Flows Forever
Caution: This Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Heterosexual, Historical, Horror, Paranormal, Interracial, Petting,
Desc: Sex Story: Chapter 1 - A man dies while trying to make his best friend's girl. He is condemned to linger in spirit, as he begins to haunt a part of the river where he died
The river is forever, flowing like time itself, collecting reflections of countless moons and suns, clouds and stars, and now it seems it has collected a reflection of me.
Reflection, that's a good word to describe me, for I am not real, like a reflection I merely appear to be something but in reality I am nothing. I seem unable to effect any changes in the objects that surround me. Birds pass through me sometimes like they might fly through a summer breeze, and yet I am here, thinking and watching as the river and time slip by. My soul or spirit seemingly anchored to this spot, this tree on the river's bank overlooking the small backwater pond.
Having no desires, harboring no feelings or emotions, I am too busy being obsessed by the one question that haunts my mind as relentlessly as I haunt this part of the river's bank. Why me?
I can still remember the chain of events that led to the river claiming me for its own. My memories about the events of that day are as clear and sharp in my mind, as if it were yesterday. Yes sir, it had been a beautiful day. The sky was as pretty and blue as a robin's egg, no clouds to be seen and a gentle breeze to keep those ninety degree temperatures from feeling too hot. Ray and Alice Fae had walked down to the river that day.
You see, Alice Fae's boyfriend had left town, and nobody had heard a word from him since. She had waited for his letter for the better part of a year before she began to realize that he was gone for good. Now, well into her second year alone, she had decided to assert herself and go with some of the local boys. Ray was a little younger than her but not by much, and she knew how crazy he was for her. He was just so damn shy and unsure of himself that he would never make a move. That day Alice Fae had packed a picnic basket, figuring she and Ray were going by themselves, and with just the two of them she thought that she might be able to help him overcome his shyness.
Ray was nervous about being alone with her. I know this because I knew Ray like he was my brother; we grew up together, having been friends for as long as either of us could remember. So I know what was going on inside his head. He was thinking she was older than him and smarter, so it was very important that he say clever things, witty things. He would've thought he needed to say things that would make her think he was as smart as she was. But I also knew; that unlike myself, Ray wasn't much for reading, and most of the guys he hung around with were mostly interested in talking about hunting or fishing. After a few comments about who had caught what fish and where on the river, subjects Alice Fae would have little or no interest in, he would've run out of things to talk about. So Ray walked next to the girl of his dreams, not knowing what to say, but knowing the silence was making him look stupid.
I had just got off work, I worked half a day on Saturdays and had just walked out onto the porch of the farm supply store to sit on the bench and have a smoke. When they walked by the store, Ray saw me sitting out on the shady porch enjoying my smoke and called out my name, much like a drowning man calling for help. Realizing that I might be the solution to his problem, Ray grabbed Alice Fae's arm and almost dragged her behind him as he stepped up into the shade of the porch.
"It's a hot day for a walk; y'all have a seat and cool off a bit. They got some cold water in the ice box inside if you want a drink." As I said this I scooted down the bench making room for them to sit together.
"Oh yeah, I'd sure like a glass of cold water," Ray said as he took me by the arm, "Alice Fae, why don't you sit here in the shade and soak up some of that nice breeze while I go with Lee and get us a drink." Ray knew his way around the store so he was walking through the door as he spoke, pulling me after him. Alice Fae carefully brushed off the bench before sitting on it; her sandy blonde hair tousled by the wind, the expression on her face was one of mild curiosity mixed with distaste.
The years have not dulled my memory. I still remember the words he said that talked me into accompanying them to the scene of the incidence. "I'm killing myself Lee, I just don't know what to say to her, but if you were with us, I could talk to you and maybe you could help me talk to her. Come on boy, as much as you like to read I know you know a lot of things to talk about. Help me out here and come with us, I really want you to." Ray wasn't trying to hide his desperation which said a lot about how much he liked the girl.
While he had been talking I had gotten us each a tall glass of cold water, I turned and gave Ray two of the glasses and as we headed back toward the front porch I said, "Let's see what she thinks."
"Alice Fae, I've asked my friend Lee to come with us, is that alright with you?" He handed Alice Fae her glass of water and then turning back to me Ray said, "Alice Fae has got a big old basket plumb full of good stuff to eat" Ray paused here to give Alice Fae a chance to echo his invitation, but she let the opportunity slip by her, answering our stares with a silent little smile that didn't extend to her eyes. I knew that I was intruding on Alice Fae's plans for the afternoon, but since Ray had asked me to come along and him being my best friend, I went anyway.
We walked along the mile and a half to the river talking and joking like three good friends. I noticed that the irritation Alice Fae had felt toward me was changing into mild curiosity or maybe even interest as she began to address more of her questions and remarks to me. We talked of so many different things ranging from the situation in Europe to the suffrage movement in America. Ray didn't seem to notice as the relationships shifted as we talked, by the time we got to the river, it seemed that Alice Fae and I were taking the walk, and Ray was just tagging along.
She and I were exchanging very frank stares, acknowledging the attraction we felt toward one another. When Ray stripped off his shirt and kicked off his shoes and ran ahead to dive into the cooling water, I think he thought that I would be right behind him, but I stayed behind with Alice Fae. I was carrying the picnic basket so I just followed her walking slow, like the adults used to do when they took us kids to the river.
We picked out a spot under a tall live oak whose limbs were heavily draped in long hanging strands of grey Spanish moss. Alice Fae handed me the blanket and I spread it out over the leafy ground. We were at the top of the bank of the river and could see Ray in the river some twenty five feet below us, he had swam out maybe sixty feet into the swift current and was fighting to hold his place.
Alice Fae busied herself setting out the bowl of fried chicken and several sandwiches wrapped in waxed paper to keep them fresh. She also had a gallon jug of sweet tea, but she had only brought two cups, I could see that she was embarrassed so I told her that I didn't think that Ray would mind if I used his cup until he got back. I could see that she was reluctant to give me the cup so she decided to split the difference and set it on the blanket within my reach. I thought that she was handing me the cup and had started to reach for it, when she set it on the blanket. But instead of pulling my hand back, somehow I found the courage to keep reaching until I held her hand, my black fingers so dark against her white skin as I held her small hand, and I felt her fingers wrap around to hold my hand in return. By the time Ray's head broke the surface, I knew that she had given me her permission to cross an ageless line.
So, there it was, she was willing if I played it right. The problem was I didn't know anything about women or about sex. For Christ's sake I was only eighteen and me and my mother were the only two black people in the county, there were no young black girls, I had no social experience in dealing with women. I got along with the boys of town with little problems over my color, but my mother had put the fear of god in me about the white girls. Following her advice I did my best to ignore them and avoid them as much as possible.
Hell, me and Mom wouldn't have been allowed to stay except that she, and Ray's mother, was both war widows. When Ray and I lost our fathers in the explosion that destroyed and sank the battleship, 'Maine' in Havana harbor, it made the town look at us differently. After the local paper wrote up a story on the noble sacrifices the two women had made for the good of their country and how their heroic husbands had given their lives for their country, how the nation was going to war to avenge their deaths. The town was sort of forced into tolerating the presence of her maid because she had been declared a heroic war widow too. That was the only reason my mother and I were allowed to stay in the otherwise all white town.
The point is I had never been around girls and I didn't know what to do, but this girl was giving me a chance to learn. But she was Ray's girl; I had to be careful not to betray my friend by trying to steal his girl, but if she came to me, somehow that didn't seem like stealing, at least not as much. So I did as little as possible and let her make the moves. I just made a commitment to open myself up to the possibilities and follow her lead, taking only what she offered.
For the first time in my life I started to play an adult game, Ray was like a child that Alice Fae and I had to hide our actions from but it was a game that we both enjoyed playing. I was carried away by the chance to be with a woman, to be able to look at her, instead of having to lower my eyes and look away. I was drunk with my ability to caress her with my gaze, allowing my eyes to linger like a blind man's fingers as I admired her beauty. For her part, Alice Fae seemed pleased to have me admire her as a woman, and she would return the favor by running her eyes boldly down my body.
Ray was going full speed ahead like a young boy showing off to his girlfriend, he called out to us, asking Alice Fae to time how long he could stay underwater. She had a watch in a locket she wore around her neck, she turned it to where she could read its face and shouted to Ray, "wait, wait, on your mark, go!" No sooner than Ray's head slipped beneath the water, her foot brushed across my hard dick and she says "looks like you see something you like."
I was as breathless as poor old Ray with his head underwater for a moment, but I recovered and surprised myself with how smooth I sounded when I answered. "Yeah, I definitely see something that I like, and I'd like to see more."
Alice Fae laughed; a low throaty sound that reminded me of a cat's purring sound, "Well, what kind of girl do you take me for? I do declare the youth of today is sadly lacking in manners." As she talked she watched her watch and with her free hand she unbuttoned the top four buttons on her dress, she reached inside and cupped her breast holding it for me to look at. When she let go of her breast and pulled her hand out of her dress top, she left the buttons open, allowing me to get a glimpse of her titty whenever she moved a certain way.
Ray burst up out of the water with a loud yell, and Alice Fae hollered back at him, "one minute and twenty seconds." She looked over at me and smiled when she said in a loud voice to Ray. "You almost made it to a minute and a half." I watched as she moved her bare foot back toward my crotch. "I bet if you took hold of one of those big dark roots down at the bottom," her foot began to stroke the length of my dick where it lay penned to my leg by my pants. "Get one big enough that you can wrap yourself around it and withstand the current, just ride that big root until you can't stand it no longer and I bet you last over a minute and a half, maybe even two minutes. You just have to go until you can't stand it anymore, holding on to that big root."
Even with her toes teasing my dick, my thinking was clear enough to let me see that Alice Fae was playing with me just as we were playing with Ray. Somehow I had thought she held me in higher regard, but it was a fleeting bit of disappointment, and the effect of her toes was impossible to ignore as I began to feel the first sensations of an approaching climax. Alice Fae's foot stopped moving, pressing my dick against my leg as she sang out to Ray. "Get ready, wait, on your mark," my hand reached her foot and I began to caress it as I let my hand slide up to hold her leg above her ankle, "go!" she cried.
As Ray's head sunk beneath the water my hand rose up the delightful leg I was holding. Alice Fae's toes had resumed their teasing strokes. As my hand slipped behind her knee, she stopped the dance of her toes and lay on her back, my hand rose higher crossing the warm softness of her inner thigh until I reached her panties. I cupped her in my hand and felt her hot, wet, heat. She lay there on her back holding that watch up before her face making a soft humming sound this time even more like purring than before, and then she opened her legs a bit.
"You're holding me like a grapefruit." Alice Fae's eyes never left the watch as she talked. "They call that part of a woman a pussy because it is fuzzy and it likes to be played with and stroked. You've never touched a woman before have you?"
"No, you are the first woman to offer me that privilege," I answered truthfully. Unsure of what I should do with her pussy, I let go of her sex and moved my hand up to enter through the unbuttoned buttons and found her breast. I felt her little nipple become a hard little nubbin as I rolled it between my fingers. I was just about to tell her how lovely she was, when I was forced to withdraw my hand and roll away from her, we had run out of time because Ray had run out of air.
When he burst from the water, Ray was too busy sucking in air to shout but Alice Fae sang out, "Time, one minute and forty five seconds", when she heard the splashing water.
I rose up to a reclining position leaning on my forearm to check on Ray who seemed to be having a hard time catching his breath. The river isn't deep where he was but it was over his head and there was a strong current. "Ray, you all right, do you need some help?"
He was coughing too bad to talk but Ray waved me away with his hand and started to swim for shore. He had got his breath back and seemed to be in good shape. Alice Fae let him get halfway to shore before she called out to him. "You lasted one minute and twenty seconds on the first attempt, and on the second attempt you bested that by twenty five seconds, I just know you can last two minutes if you really try."
Ray was fighting the current again and I could see his conflicting emotions wash across his face, part of him wanted to hit the mark that she had set for him. But there was fear on his face also, I didn't know why but for some reason he didn't want to go back down again. It was much later that I found out that he had felt like a snake had brushed against him while he had been under the water. Alice Fae was urging me with her eyes, wanting me to get Ray to give us another couple of minutes, and I wanted those minutes too. I was just getting ready to dare him to give it a try, when he called to us that he wanted to rest a bit first and began to swim toward the shore.
Watching Ray stride up the slope toward us, I thought of the fear I had seen on his face when he was considering diving again and I began to see that if I had called and dared him, it would have been me working against him. I suddenly felt bad about trying to have my way with the girl that he liked so much, and decided to draw back from her until I had a chance to get her off to myself some time where it would just be the two of us. I decided that for the rest of today she was his date and I was going to stop playing the game. A touch of fear mixed in with my own guilt, not fear of what he might do to me but fear of what I might have already been ready to do to him. I had almost betrayed him. I didn't want him to find out, at least not now and not like this.
Don't get me wrong here, I wanted Alice Fae and I was going to spend some time with her, but I decided it would be best if the knowledge of what had happened today, or what might happen when we met again, never got to Ray.
I should stop here and tell you that Ray and I had been friends since forever, he wasn't very smart and he was white, but he was my best friend. And we shared a lot in common, our fathers had known each other and served on the same ship, both of our mothers became war widows at the same time and since they were friends they decided to share expenses and live in one house. Everyone in town thought that my mother was nothing more than a maid to Ray's mother but there was something between the two women that seemed to make them more than just two widows suddenly forced to live on a stingy pension. In reality we were more like a family, and the two widows were really more like sisters than maid and mistress.
I was wrong to do him like I did, I wanted that woman so bad though and the thought of how he felt about her was not enough to stop me. I was his friend and I knew how much he liked Alice Fae, I knew it when I was touching her behind Ray's back, and I knew it when I was ready to get him to go down again. Maybe that's the reason why I'm still here.
Anyway, when Ray came back to the blanket he was dripping wet so he sat off by his self, not close to either one of us. I wondered if he had seen more than we had thought, but it could've been because he was so wet, he had always been a considerate person. Ray asked why we hadn't come in the river with him. Alice Fae told him that she didn't want to get her hair wet but she planned to wade in the water in a bit. I lied, and told him that I had been too hungry and had wanted to eat a sandwich first. I could see that Ray didn't understand what was going on between me and Alice Fae but he didn't push the issue, instead he asked for a sandwich.
I was only wearing a pair of cut off jeans and my hard dick was clearly visible, forcing me to roll over on my stomach to hide the proof of my betrayal of my friend. Alice Fae thought the whole situation was hilarious, and commenced to giggle.
It's so clear in my memory, Alice Fae was almost two years older than me and Ray, and she thought she was so much smarter than anybody else, but really she was just a silly girl playing a serious game. It's almost like living it again every time I remember it, the way Alice Fae started to joke and kid around asking me to hand her stuff trying to make me show myself. I didn't think it was funny, I was feeling too guilty. I could see that Ray was beginning to wonder about the way Alice Fae was acting toward me. But Alice Fae ignored all my efforts to get her to stop.
I have to admit though, even as I was trying to end the foolish game we had been playing, the risk and danger of the situation had me all worked up. I was nervous, scared, excited and ashamed, all at one time but more than anything else, I was horny. My dick felt hard as marble as it lay against my leg, throbbing in frustration as it tried to raise its head.
What topped everything, and just killed me, was when Alice Fae reached over me for the picnic basket. She let her hand fall on my leg, way up on my leg; I mean she was almost touching my ass. As she brought the basket over me she let her fingers slip between my legs and before I knew it, she done grabbed my dick and squeezed it and let it go. She had been slick about it, Ray never seen a thing other than her reaching across me to get his sandwich from the basket. She laughed, her eyes dancing in delight at the humor of it, like an Indian warrior counting coup on his enemy, she had managed to touch my dick while Ray had sat not two feet away.
I lay there like the worst sort of scum with a boner for my best friend's girl. And now that same girl is seeing how far she can go before she gets us both caught. It was a bad situation and it seemed that it might get worst since she thought of it as a game. So I decided to run for the river and get rid of the offending hard-on before she made a mistake and exposed the two of us as the lowlifes we were. I couldn't get to the open water of the river without going right by Ray, but since the river was high, there was a pretty big backwater pool straight ahead of me. I could run to it without exposing my front to Ray's view, it looked a little muddy but once I had swam across it I would be in the clear water of the river where I could rinse off.
I made my dash for the water as Ray bit into his sandwich. I knew it had a mud bottom so I wasn't worried about hitting a rock so I dove through the bushes, hitting the water at a shallow angle, hands held over my head. I was skimming beneath the surprisingly warm water of the shallow pool when I thought that I had hit a tangled mess of barbed wire. I guess I panicked when I felt myself trapped underwater and all those sharp barbs started to tear into me. Mindless of the pain I fought through it to the surface, getting stuck all over every time I moved, but I made it and got my head clear of the water. I opened my eyes and sucked in a lungful of air and shouted for help.
In all honesty I can't say for sure what I said, I might've only started to call for help when that big snake bit me on my face, just below the eye, and then all the others hit me in the face and neck. I had so many snakes latched onto my face that I could only see from one eye and it peered out from under a tangled mass of squirming bodies. All those snakes, hundreds of them and they were all rolling over and over in a great tangled ball of snakes and I was in the middle of it.
I think I managed to shout "Stay away!" I think I shouted as I saw both my friends running to my aid, but I can't say for sure. I could feel the fangs, hundreds of sharp teeth tearing into my body, there was so many of them that I was pushed under the water by their weight. I'm almost sure I was screaming in pain and horror for the scant seconds it took until I died from the shock of all that venom.
I went to meet my maker with a hard-on and a guilty conscience.
When you die with a hard-on it changes things, maybe even more so, if it was a guilty hard-on. After all this time, that is the only conclusion that I've been able to come to, it was the guilty boner that did it. I should have gone to God for judgment or been reborn as a cow or dog or something, or been reunited with friends and family that had died in the past, but I didn't do any of those things. Something or some condition that existed at the time of my death made it different for me because I didn't completely die that day, part of me survived.
Instead of being called to God, I just rose above that muddy little pool of snakes where my body was beginning to roll over with the ball of snakes. All of us, well it really wasn't me anymore it was just my dead body, in a terrible knot just a rolling over and over making the muddy water froth around the twisting bodies of the snakes.
Poor old Ray was going berserk as he wailed and tried to beat the snakes back with a stick. But there were too many and after nearly getting bit by two snakes he was forced away. He could see that I was dead I think because he was crying. Alice Fae, she just sat down in the grass like her legs had been taken away, and commenced to squalling and sobbing. It was sad to watch, but sad for them not me, I mean I didn't feel anything, except sorry for them having to go through this for me.
I kind of sat in this tree and watched as Ray and Alice Fae finally got up and started to walk toward home. It seemed that Ray had gotten over his shyness, as he had his arm around Alice Fae, holding her close as they walked away. The snakes calmed down and went back to a slow twisting motion, my body still in the middle of the group. I hung suspended in air like a fine mist watching that blanket covered with uneaten food, as the wind riffled the leaves forcing them to reveal their silver undersides to the sun.
But it wasn't long before I could hear the jingling of harnesses and the plodding sounds of hoofs accompanied by distant voices. A large group of men showed up in several wagons and began to figure how to retrieve my body, nobody wanted to get snake bit and they were dealing with dozens of angry cotton mouth water moccasins. Everybody was watching my body slowly turn over and over, propelled by the snakes that were tirelessly squirming and twisting in the great ball as they all tried to get next to the female in the middle.
After a bit, the men started to toss a fishing line with a big treble hook on it, it took several tries but they finally snagged me under the chin, the big hook digging into my neck. Slowly and carefully they towed my corpse across the pool, away from the newly excited and angry churning ball of snakes. I felt nothing as I watched all those snakes striking my dead body as it moved away from them. It was as if the dead body was never me, surprisingly I felt no connection to it at all. Once my body was pulled up onto land the sheriff told everybody to run like hell as one of the deputies lit the fuse on a small bundle of dynamite and threw it right into the middle of that ball of snakes that had killed me.
There was a thunderous explosion that blew all the mud and muddy water, as well as the snakes fifty feet into the air, darkening the lovely blue sky for an instant as the whole squirming, wiggling, muddy mess hung high above the tree tops, and then crashed back to earth, spattering the trees, water and ground with whole and partial snakes of all sizes.
Even though they were dead, the snakes still wiggled and twisted themselves into knots as their nervous systems stirred the red mud with their bodies, their disembodied heads snapping at the air, biting the earth, injecting their poison into the ground in a vain attempt to get revenge on what had killed them. Snakes hung from trees like bloody tinsel, they draped themselves across bushes, falling through to the unseen ground below. At least a hundred snakes all dead from the blast or the concussion from the blast.
When you mix living flesh with the powerful explosion caused by three sticks of dynamite, you get some dramatic results. Their ears still ringing from the blast the farmers and men from town stood transfixed by what they saw. Few animals have a reputation as sinister as the cotton mouth moccasin, and its appearance is as close to a picture of evil as anything I can imagine. But now these fearsome creatures were dead, dismembered into sections and dispersed over quarter of an acre, yet they still fought, biting each other and themselves, fighting on nerves and hate alone. It was a scene few could imagine, and when it was presented to you, it was hard to turn away.
Everyone stood in silence, the loudest sounds were the dripping of mud and water and bits of snake from the trees, the muddy water mixing with the blood to become a starker shade of red, as it rushed back toward the pond it had been blown from. The spectacle of the dead snakes squirming and attacking one another, the mud and blood that painted everything, the bittersweet smoke in the air, all combined to make a living example of hell on earth.
After a few moments the smoke cleared, and most of the snakes stopped moving, the spell was broken and they got back to the morbid task that had brought them out here. The sheriff came over and taking out his pocket knife cut the treble hook from my neck. Several men lifted my body onto a wagon and drove it back to town for my mother to clean up. This was before we had a colored undertaker, in truth me and my mother were the only black people in the county that I know of.
My mother, bless her heart, would have to clean my dead body; she would be forced to see all those hundreds of puncture wounds as she washed me. I know she felt the pain of every bite. She would have been weeping quietly as she prepared her eighteen year old son to be buried. I'm glad that I didn't have to follow my body; I wouldn't have liked watching mom go through that.
Watching myself being hauled away, I wondered why I didn't want to follow, but I didn't. I didn't want anything at all. It was early spring nineteen hundred and eleven, the year of my death. And I was content just to linger here in the tree by the river.
At the beginning of my story I referred to myself as a reflection, but at this point in my new existence I felt that I was more akin to an echo, the afterlife of a sound that gets weaker and weaker until it is no more. It was late in the summer, the river was running low, the little back water pool was almost dry, and my feeble little echo was rapidly diminishing into the great eternal silence, when I heard their voices.
Ray and Alice Fae were spreading the same blanket in the same spot, just as it had been the last time we were all here. Ray was trying to keep the mood from becoming morbid by telling Alice Fae funny stories about adventures me and him had had together. When the tale was over, his voice lapsed into a more somber tone as he said, "he was the best friend that a man could have."
Alice Fae was silent for a moment but then she said, "I don't think he was the best friend you could have, he wasn't perfect, he was really nice and I liked him but he was not a perfect friend."
There was a touch of anger in Ray's voice when he told her, "Black or white, they don't make men any better than Lee, period, and if you are that racist in your thinking then I think we need to get to know each other a bit more before we take any big steps." Ray shook his head, "Damn I can't believe you said that."
Strangely enough, just when Alice Fae was getting ready to tell our secret, I was distracted by the feelings of anger, disappointment, a deep dread of losing Alice Fae and a general swirling sense of confusion and lost. I realized I was feeling what Ray was feeling, I drew closer and I began to hear his thoughts. I got right next to him as close as possible without touching. It was as if, I was him. I could remember his memories, listen to his thoughts, and feel his feelings. It was as if I was alive again, but as Ray.
Alice Fae's voice was in our ear now and Ray and I focused out attention, listening to her as she said. "You misunderstand me Ray, I was not the perfect girlfriend that day and Lee was not the perfect friend." I could feel myself grow stronger when I imagined she was remembering my touches, as she continued. "I had never talked to a black man like Lee, I mean a man as well read on so many subjects, so humble in his knowledge, yet I was sure of his wisdom. He impressed me, and I found myself attracted to him on a basic man to woman level. His being black had nothing to do with it but him being your friend did, so we both played a silly little flirting game while you were in the river."
I was there and I know what happened, but I stumbled through the words with Ray's mind as he tried to put things in order, first thing was a great sigh of relief to find out that Alice Fae wasn't a racist 'nigger hater', next thing he latched onto was the question, what exactly are 'little flirting games' and why did they have to be behind his back, before he was finished thinking the thought he said. "What do you mean, when you say, you both played flirting games?" I agreed with him when he thought that he had kept his voice conversational, but I felt that we waited in a sinister silence for her answer.
Remembering watching her face, as she considered what to tell and what not to mention, I suddenly had wondered what it would feel like to feel her feelings, or to be able to remember some of her memories. I felt very strong now and confident of my ability to come back inside Ray's clothes next to his skin. I decided to become the first man to really understand what a woman thought. I was captured by the idea and decided to go for it. I let myself start to rise like mist on the river, filtering through his clothes, leaving Ray and his feelings and thoughts, and going back to being just me as I drifted toward Alice Fae.
I was reading caution on her face but I couldn't 'feel' her at all, no emotions no thoughts or memories, nothing. I was inside her clothes molded to her like her scent and still there were no feelings or thoughts, I discovered that I couldn't ride on her, living through her, like I was able to do with Ray and I was sorely disappointed. Since I couldn't suck up any feelings from her, I had been forced to slink back to Ray again, welcoming his thoughts like an old friend as I settled in. Ray was listening to Alice Fae as she was saying. "I think it would be better if we acted it out and I show you what we did."
Ray was torn between wanting to know what had happened but not wanting to know anything that might make him think less of me. His complete trust in me was touching and made me feel even guiltier about what I had done. But what ripped into my heart
like the jagged teeth of a sharp saw, was when Ray thought and said, "Alice Fae, I damned near begged Lee to come with us that day, he would have stayed there safe in the shade of that porch if not for me. Unless it was something totally dishonorable, I'd just as soon not hear about it. I loved Lee and he had proven himself to be my best friend at least a thousand times, I don't need to hear about the one time he might have let me down."
I didn't need to be next to Alice Fae to know what she was thinking now as she came to Ray. I felt the same swelling sense of love as she did, and I wanted to kiss Ray myself, I didn't but she did, and when she kissed Ray, she kissed me. Her sweet lips parted and I felt myself being sucked into her hot opened mouth. It was heavenly and I loved that feeling so much, but I could feel how much Ray loved her and at the same time feel the pleasure he was receiving from the kiss. I wanted to stay with Ray, and I knew I might never get another chance to feel those sensations with him, and enjoy this woman that we both wanted. But in the end I couldn't, for I was overpowered by the great love I felt for him.
I truly believe that nothing can rival a woman when it comes to making a man rejoice in the simple fact that he is indeed a man. But love can be shared between men which is every bit as strong and beautiful and I found my love of Ray outweighed my desire for Alice Fae. My final gift to my best friend was my leaving, for it was truly a gift of love.
I withdrew letting myself rise like smoke flees from fire, not stopping until I was far above the river unable to hear the above the fluttering of the leaves in the wind. When I got enough control over my emotions to think straight, I began to see how ridiculous I was, and I would have laughed if I could've. But I didn't because I can't and I can't talk or touch. I can only think, and now you have read those thoughts, I hope you will tell me what you think about a man who died with a hard on and a guilty conscience and now is condemned to linger at the scene of his demise.