Chapter 21

Robin sat in misery. He had obviously hurt Lottë deeply but why? He had to offer her a way out even though life would not be worth living without her. He had to. It was the only decent, honourable thing to do. Then her words came back to him. 'You're my life. If nothing else this morning has shown me that you're that'.

"Oh God! What have I done? How could I have been so stupid, so heartless, so bloody selfish? I wasn't thinking of her, of her unconditional love. I was thinking as I might have thought of me, not her thinking of me. You idiot, you bloody fool!"

He sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. He would try and talk to her again in quarter of an hour's time.

"I'm sorry I blew up like that," said a small voice. "I still love you. You are still my life."

Robin's head came up. "Lottë? Oh my darling!"

He leapt to his feet and enfolded her. They clung to each.

Robin finally managed to get his brain back in order. "I'm sorry, darling" he said softly. "I thought I was being fair to you but I wasn't. I was deeply hurtful and wounding. I'm so, so sorry, my darling. Please, please forgive me."

"I do, my love. I love you too much not to."

"Oh Lottë, my darling Lottë, thank you."

"And do you forgive me for yelling at you like that?"

"There's nothing to forgive, my darling. I was the cause."

"Now, Uncle Robin," she said softly, "no recriminations, no more misery. Give me a kiss and then let's go and find a drink."

Robin pulled her back into a hug which she returned in full measure.

Daphne came bounding in shortly afterwards.

"What's this? In your dressing gowns already? I'd better get out of the way."

Lottë explained about Robin's TIA and that they had had a rest during the afternoon. Daphne was horrified.

"Oh, Daddy, you poor thing." She kissed him lovingly. "Well, I'm glad the prognosis is good but don't you dare frighten Lottë and everyone else again."

Robin smiled at her. "No, sweety. I'll do my best.

Lottë took the next two days off. She wanted to be sure that Robin was really all right before she left him on his own. They took some gentle exercise morning and afternoon both days. She went into the office on Friday to put her Saturday article to bed and to make sure she had missed nothing important. She also discussed the future with the Art Editor.

"I wish I could stop you going," he said, "but I quite understand. Would you still be prepared to write your weekly column and still do some reporting from home?"

"You bet. Things will have to take a back seat when children arrive though."

"Understood. The other thing is, Lottë, we shall not be able to continue to pay you a salary but on a job done basis."

"That's absolutely fair."

"OK. I'll have a word with HR and let you know what we're prepared to offer. When are you actually going to depart?"

"Friday 28th August."

Robin had an appointment with his GP the same day. The GP reiterated the hospital doctor's advice but recommended also that he find a new GP in Wiltshire as a matter of priority. Robin promised he would. He also checked that he was allowed to fly. The honeymoon was on his mind.

He also used the day on his own to produce his guest list for the wedding. He was well inside Matty's quota of fifty. He wondered whether the father of the bride would also act as his best man again. He decided to ring him that evening. He needed to tell Henry and Matty about his TIA anyway.

Lottë arrived home shortly after six. "I'm glad you're going back to work on Monday. It's jolly lonely walking to Cannon Street and back without you," she said as she hung up her jacket. She put her arms round his neck and his went round her waist.

"Love you. Kiss?"

Robin obliged. "Love you too. Another."

The second was a more drawn out one which led to loving smiles and a third.

"Have you been a good boy and taken exercise?"

"Yup! I walked to the doctor's this morning and then down to and around the park this afternoon."

"Well done, my darling. You know I ought to give Mum a ring. We haven't told them about your thingie."

"Great minds ... I also want to ask Henry whether he's prepared to be my best man again."

Lottë chuckled. "I wonder whether that's ever happened before. Let's grab ourselves a drink and go through to the sitting room and do it."

They did that and Lottë snuggled up as close as she could. The Irvines were understandably shocked at Robin's news but also sympathetic and relieved at the prognosis. Henry said that he would be delighted to act as best man again adding that he would probably get into the Guinness Book of Records. Matty invited them and Daphne down for the following weekend.

"Bring your pens," she ordered. "Invitation cards. Have you decided on bridesmaids, Lottë?"

"No, Mum. Do you really think I need any for a registry office?"

"Up to you."

"I'll talk to Uncle Robin."

"Fat lot of use he'll be."

"Mum!"

There was a delighted chuckle from the other end.

That weekend they managed to write all the invitations and to make some detailed plans for the wedding. Lottë decided to do without bridesmaids. She could not see why Robin needed a best man.

"If he's going to give me away he won't be available to hold your hand before I arrive and surely you've got a pocket for the ring."

"I need someone to blame it on if it gets lost."

Lottë snorted derisively before saying, "I still love you, you silly old thing."

The registry office at Cirencester had been booked for ten-thirty and the blessing scheduled for twelve. There would then be drinks followed by a cold lunch at one.

Robin would spend the Friday night at home and meet the family at the registry office. When asked about the honeymoon plans all Robin would say was that they would be flying from Bristol at half past eight on the Saturday evening and would be away for ten days.

"What clothes do I take?" Lottë demanded.

"Warm summer, swimmers, smart dinner dresses."

"Ooh, you!"

"That's all you need to know, my little bride to be."

She wrinkled her nose at him but her eyes were alive with excitement and happiness.

In addition to all the planning and invitations Matty whisked Lottë off to the dressmaker on the Saturday morning. Daphne went with them. Henry and Robin took the opportunity for a walk with the dogs. Robin was happy to walk for an hour and neither of them dawdled.

On Sunday they all went to church and Robin and Lottë spoke to the vicar about their arrangements for the blessing. He accepted happily that he would not be officiating but was delighted to be told that he and his wife would be receiving an invitation.