Chapter 1

Caution: This Drama Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Fiction, Group Sex, White Male, Hispanic Female, First, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Masturbation,

Desc: Drama Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Hot guys, hot girls, and steroids. Meet Chaz, who has always been in the dark because of his height and his shyness. He admires his best friend who is huge with muscles and wishes he could be more like him. He'll do whatever it takes to become like him, but at what price?

I flex my muscles. I feel high and mighty. The reflection in the mirror wipes out the skinny, shy kid who grew up in Boston. I'm no longer afraid of people. People assemble around me and admire me. Now I'm muscular, got my self-esteem. I look perfect, I look like a hero. I am so strong! I am a motherfucking god!

Attention. We all crave it. We all search for it. Deep down, we all love it. I was one of "the sad souls that never got attention. I never even got a second look. Growing up while the other boys in class had girlfriends or dates to the school dance, I was alone. I don't think I was ugly. I had inherited my father's green eyes and my mom's dark brown hair. I was extremely shy not to mention short, only 5'5" tall. I had no clue how to have a conversation with anyone. I didn't really have friends.

My mother, who was an Italian beauty, passed away at an early age of 32. I was only eight years old at the time and didn't understand anything about cancer. My father, a white man, who grew up in Boston, had met my mom when he was in the army many years ago. He was in Italy checking into a hotel where my mom was a clerk. They started talking and realized they couldn't live without each other. They fell in love rather quickly. Married within four months of just meeting.

I know my father loved my mom. She was beautiful, smart and a great cook. I remember my mom very well. She'd always have a snack for me after school whether it was homemade cookies, mozzarella sticks or potato skins. She used to sing in Italian. I never caught on to the language. I should have but I didn't. She used to praise me a lot. Saying I was a handsome boy and would become something big in life. I liked her praises. It made me feel worthy.

When she passed away, I had no one to praise me anymore. My father was busy working at the army base. I think he took double shifts just to avoid talking to me. It's not that he was a bad father; he just didn't know how to connect with me. I was a boy into art and comic books. I think he expected me to be into sports. I honestly think we had nothing in common. He provided for us. He bought the food, bought my clothes and paid for my first car. Still, he was never really THERE. I wanted him to talk to me and give me girl advice. I wanted him to offer to take me to a ball game even though I hated baseball. I wanted him to ask me about my day. I just needed a dad and I only had a father.

I was shy growing up. I had no clue what to say to anyone. If someone talked to me, I'd answer them but that's it. I never understood how some people could go on and on talking about themselves. I tried to pay attention to the jocks when they asked out the pretty girls. I couldn't imagine myself asking anyone out. Instead, I kept to myself and shut everyone out.

When you're alone for so long you slowly fade into the crowds. You are just another face, no one special. No one looks at you. No one pays attention to you. No one really cares that you exist.

I needed to get away from Boston and discover myself. I needed to do something before I suffocated in my own lonesome sad world. I needed to be different.

I moved to New York at age 24. I had money saved up from summer jobs I had since age 16. Since I had always been alone I had plenty of money to help me survive at least one year in the expensive state. I found a tiny apartment in Brooklyn and a job as a nighttime stock boy at a nearby grocery store.

Sometimes shit jobs can lead to great friendships. I met Liam there. Liam was just a few inches taller than me but built like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator. He wore his dark hair long and in a ponytail reminded me of Steven Seagal. His eyes an icy blue color and skin tough as leather that was unfortunately covered with acne. He befriended me without questions. He simply offered to show me around town since I was new. I noticed when people saw him, they'd stare. Not dirty looks or hateful looks but more like respect. Many people would immediately ask Liam about his workout routine. College guys would be impressed and college girls would drool. THAT'S the kind of life I wanted.

I asked Liam his secret and he gave me tips on getting built. Told me what to eat. It was almost impossible to follow such an intense eating habit. My eyes widened when I read the diet routine:

Meal 1: (7:00am)
6 egg whites, 1 yolk, scrambled
Half-cup oatmeal
1 orange

Meal 2 (10:00am)
5oz chicken breast, grilled
1 medium baked potato
1 mixed salad with low fat dressing

Meal 3 (13:00)
5oz lean steak, grilled
1-cup brown rice
3oz steamed vegetables

Meal 4 (16:00)
1 scoop whey protein
1 apple or 1 banana

Meal 5 (19:00)
3oz salmon, baked
1 sweet potato
3oz steamed vegetables

Meal 6 (22:00)
5oz low fat cottage cheese
half apple
Handful of almonds

And of course also had to drink one gallon of water per day. Not only that, but I had to work out at least twice a day. I would get up at five each morning and go with Liam to the gym. He taught me about lifting weights and what cardio exercises to do. Now that I think about it, I have no idea how I managed to do all this and work at the same time, but you know I found it refreshing. I found it different. It was something out of my comfort zone and I was actually enjoying it.

I followed his strict rules about not eating junk food and continued pumping iron. Within a few months I saw a huge change. My muscles were slowly developing. I wanted fast results like Liam but he said it takes time.

Liam was moving into the city later that year. He said he gotten a job as a fitness trainer at a gym called Hard Bodz and would be making damn good money. I didn't want him to leave. He was my only friend. So, he offered to let me come with him. We'd share an apartment and he'd try to get me in the gym to work as a trainer too. He said everything he'd taught me, was the same thing I'd teach to my clients. I still couldn't figure out how he'd gotten so built. I was jealous, I must admit. I still couldn't get the same attention he did. So many people asking him what he does or how he does it. Liam held his head high. People respected and admired him. I was still the shy Boston guy who never even had a girlfriend.

The move to the city went smoothly. Liam settled down at his job at the gym while I found a job at another grocery store. It took a few months but Liam did as he promised. He got me a job at the gym. I was a temporary trainer. Meaning, I only filled in when another trainer could not. I still kept my job at the grocery store since living in the city was fucking expensive.

I enjoyed my time at the gym. I had a few clients who were shy and insecure like me. That gave me some kind of confidence. I found myself slowly breaking out of my shell, but not too much. I still found myself stuttering when I got nervous.

This two job deal went on for a few months. By the beginning of summer, I finally landed a full time position at Hard Bodz. It was perfect for me. I could work out and then walk downstairs to meet my clients and start my paying job. I also had plenty of time to eat since there was at least 30 minutes in between each session. It was the perfect job for me to keep fit and bulking up, but yet I still was nowhere near Liam's physique.

I liked my co-workers. Most of them at least. Lanie, a 45 year old beauty looked like she was 25. Lanie was somewhat quiet except when it came to disciplining her clients. Most of her clientele were middle-aged men and women who needed to get in shape, fast!

Emmie, Janelle, and Laura were other female trainers. Emmie was the youngest around 23 years old. Janelle and Laura were in their early 30's and all them were hot. They had amazing bodies and personalities to go with them. Most of their clientele were men. Young men, and old men. The men, all loved these ladies.

Gabriel was another trainer. He was buff, more than me of course but not more than Liam. Gabriel was 28 years old and grew up in Jersey. He had a good clientele. Mostly were college guys and girls who wanted to be fit in order to get dates. Gabriel was an ass. He was bossy, rude and constantly leering at me as if he was secretly making fun of me.

Manny was the owner and a trainer too. He was the one that had originally gotten Liam the job. He had spotted Liam once at a nightclub and offered Liam the job. He was huge like Liam too. His brother, Conrad, was also huge and was a co owner Hard Bodz.

Liam was the one that had the most clientele it seemed. He had people from all walks of life Grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, college kids, and so on. He got along with people so well. He was that kind of guy. People flocked to his direction because he was interesting. Just by looking at him you wanted to ask him how the hell did he get that big? Right away, that was always a conversation starter for Liam. He didn't even have to do anything. He just stood in a room with his huge arms crossed and by the time you knew it, people surrounded him with questions.

I almost forgot someone. Well, not quite, but I saved her for last. I saw her the first day I started working full time at Hard Bodz. I looked across the room and immediately saw her. I wanted to hide in the shell I had lived in for so long but I knew I was a different person. I had self esteem now. I shouldn't be shy around this girl but I was. I felt my hands shaking and my heart thumping as if I had just run ten miles. She took my breath away with the sassy way she walked.

She had Salma Hayek's long dark hair and mystical eyes, Catherine Zeta-Jones' smile, Eva Longoria's tiny waist, Jessica Alba's full lips and a Jennifer Lopez ass, but hers was firm as a rock. Her name is Selena. She's what changed me right then at that moment. I felt as if I had discovered the real heaven. I felt like a new man.

Selena, beautiful, smart, funny, 26 years old and single. She had studied dance in NYC but failed to make it on Broadway. Being so fit, she decided to become a personal trainer.

She walked past me at first then looked back and raised one perfect brow and smiled at me. I felt as if I my knees would give and I would just drop to the ground and worship her. I wanted to smile back. I wanted to say something to her but instead I froze. I just stared at her amazing beauty. She laughed softly, but sexy and began to strut away. Her hips swayed begging me to continue to look at her.

"Don't drool all over the floor. You're going to have to mop it."

I hesitantly took my eyes away from Selena as she walked into the women's locker room. Liam stood behind me with a smirk on his face. He was covered in sweat. His black Hard Bodz muscle shirt clung on to him as if it was a second skin.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Chaz, I've known you for a while now. I never seen you look at a girl like the way you looked at Selena." He took a huge gulp of water.

I stared off to a distance. The sound of weights being dropped and treadmills running surrounded me. "I wasn't staring. I mean I was but ... never mind."

Liam laughed and slapped my back. "Hey, it's cool. I can't blame you. Selena is the cutest, sexiest woman here. I used to crush on Emmie but Selena came and I was like 'Emmie? Emmie who?'"

I licked my chapped lips and watched Selena emerge from the ladies locker room. She flung a towel over her shoulder and went to the water faucet to drink some water. She bent down slightly making it hard not to stare.

"Yeah, she's a beauty. I'd love to get with her but she's never given me the time of day. She's more fascinated with my muscles than she is with me," Liam laughed and I continued to stare at Selena.

"I've never talked to her," I said quietly.

Liam stood next to me and stared at her along with me. "What are you waiting for? Talk to her. I see her looking over at you every now and then. She's a real flirt though, I gotta warn you bro."

I took a deep breath and imagined what I would say to her. Nothing came to mind. I mean sure I wanted to tell her how hot I thought she was and how much I'd love to be inside of her but men get slapped for saying shit like that.

"Nah, I have a client anyway in a few minutes," I looked away.

Liam groaned. "Dude, when are you going to talk to chicks? I mean don't make me start thinking you're gay or something."

I had to laugh. "You would think that. Hey when can I get big like you? I'm tired of being puny. Compared to you and Gabriel I'm fucking small."

Liam's face grew serious. "You keep asking me and I keep telling you. It takes time bro. You can't just get big overnight unless-"

"Hey party tonight at my apartment! You two fuckers should come."

Our conversation was interrupted by Conrad. He stood in front of us grinning like the fucking joker.

"A party?" I asked puzzled. I had never been invited to any of the parties the people at the gym had.

He looked over at me. "It's just a party for the hell of it. Good music, hot chicks and lots of coke."

Liam gave me a cautious look. "Well, might go. I'm not sure."

"What the fuck Liam? Is Chaz your boyfriend? If you can't make it he can make it on his own right Chaz?" He laughed.

I nodded and saw Liam's jaw clench. "Well you two fucks can come if you want. If you miss it, you're going to miss a hell of a party." He walked away humming the C&C Music Factory "Gonna make you sweat" song that played through the speakers.

"Fag," Liam cussed under his breath.

"What? You don't want to go?" I asked.

He took another gulp of water before answering. I quickly looked to see if Selena was still there but she was gone. I tried to hide my heartbreak.

"Dude, Conrad and Manny's parties are always the same shit. It's nothing but drugs. You don't do drugs bro."

I knew Liam dabbled with cocaine and smoked pot but never to the point where he went crazy. He seemed to always just do "enough." "Well you do drugs and you're not a druggie. Why don't' we just go and drink but not do drugs?"

He nodded. "I don't think so bro. I'm telling you those parties are nothing but trouble."

Just then I saw Selena with a client. She had her client on the stationary bike. She looked over at me and smiled. My heart raced. My cock got hard.

"Does Selena go to these parties?" I asked curiously.

Liam looked over at her and then at me. He sighed. "Yeah she does."

"Then we definitely have to go." I found myself smiling back at her.

Liam sighed again. "Alright then. We'll go ... I guess."

I needed to do this. I needed to be involved in social activities, something I never did as a kid or a teenager. Now was my chance to have friends, talk to women and leave that skinny, shy Boston kid behind.

The party was everything Liam said it would be. When we arrived Goldfrapps "Ride a white horse" blared through the speakers. I spotted Manny sitting on the couch drinking a Samuel Adams. He wore a Hard Bodz black muscle shirt, torn up Gap jeans and brown Pac Sun sandals. He quickly stood up and walked over to us. I wore my Abercrombie & Fitch white t-shirt, my Levis and Puma sneakers. Liam wore his gray Marc Ecko t-shirt, faded Levis and black and white Airwalks. "Hey! Glad you two could make it!" He turned and called out, "Hey guys! Looks who's here."

I saw a few people I never seen before and then most of the gym trainers. All of them were there with the exception of Lanie. I spotted Selena near the balcony drinking what looked like Jungle Juice talking to a big black guy with dread locks who had the body of LL Cool J but the face of Lenny Kravitz. I was doomed. How the hell would I ever take her away from that guy? She wore tight black pants, a dark red scoop neck shirt with a portrait of Marilyn Monroe on it and black wedged heels.

"Hey! Hey!" I looked to see Conrad heading our way. He was wearing a Lacoste white and gray polo shirt, black slacks and Cole Haan black sneakers. His hair was slicked back and the fucker was wearing his Tom Ford shades. "Glad you two fucks came. You all want a beer or something?"

I opted for a beer while Liam requested some Jungle Juice. Conrad left and came back a few seconds later. I searched the room for Selena but realized she was gone. I drank my beer slowly. It seemed to have no taste. Paul Van Dyk's "Let Go" was now playing. I looked over to the kitchen and saw a few people hunched over. They were all snorting cocaine. I saw Emmie stand up and wipe her nose. She spotted Liam and I and rushed over to talk to us.

"Hey guys! What's up? Glad you two could come. Liam, you never invited your friend here to the parties. What's up with that?" She hiccupped and laughed. She was high as a kite.

"Emmie, my love," Liam said sweetly and put an arm around her. "I've missed you. I haven't talked to you in weeks besides the usual hi and bye at work."

She giggled and leaned her head on Liam's huge chest. Her blue Ella Moss spaghetti strap dress was falling off her shoulders giving me a slight view of the top of her breasts. One slight move and her tits would come bouncing out. Not that I would mind. "I'm so fucking busy at work. I want to go chat with you, but someone always wants to talk to me."

"I want to talk to you. You should put me before anyone else," Liam teased.

She giggled loudly. "Oh Liam. You love to clit tease me."

"Come on, lets get you some water," Liam walked her over to the tub that was filled with ice, beers, wine coolers and water bottles.

I searched again, no sign of Selena. I was hoping to talk to her. That night I felt brave and I wanted to say something to her but where the fuck had she gone?

"She's so high. I hate it when she gets so fucking high," Liam sounded frustrated. Emmie sat on the floor sipping her water.

"Well, it is a party," I shot back.

Liam nodded. "I know that dick, I just meant she's so young and I hate for her to get addicted to coke. I've caught her snorting at work and once you snort at work, that aint good. I mainly come to the parties to try to distract her so she won't snort so much. I guess I was too late today. Fuck!"

I look over at Emmie. "She'll be ok. I'm sure of it. She's just having a good time."

Liam shrugged. "Well, you want to go on and mingle while I stay here with Emmie?" I nodded and took off to the living room. DJ Tiesto's "Just Be" was playing now. I sipped my beer as I made my way through several people before reaching the couch. I sat down for a while. I wanted to start a conversation with someone but everyone was in their own world talking to their own friends. In my peripheral vision I saw Selena appear. She had just come out of one of the rooms. The black guy was behind her smiling away. I felt my fist clench. She was holding his hand and they walked to the kitchen. I watched to see if she was doing coke but she wasn't. She went to get some more Jungle Juice. Her man whispered something in her ear and she laughed. She must have felt me staring because our eyes met instantly. Her man kept saying something to her in her ear and her attention was on me. She winked at me, making me almost spill my beer.

"You having a good time?" I jumped up slightly. Janelle was sitting next to me. She lit up a Virginia Slims.

"Yeah it's a good party," I lied. I was having a terrible time. Seal's "Amazing" remix song started to play.

"Poor Emmie," she said and looked over at where Liam and Emmie sat. "She's so freaking high." She smoked her cigarette. "Why are you always so quiet? I mean you never eat lunch with any of us or stay after work to talk to us. You're always with Liam. You got a thing for him or what?"

I rolled my eyes. If one more person assumed Liam and I were gay I would punch them out. "Nah, he's my buddy. He's like a brother to me. He's the first person I met when I moved to New York."

"Ah I see," she slurred. She was drunk.

Selena smiled sweetly at me and turned to kiss the Lenny Kravitz/LL Cool J looking guy. I watched his tongue slide into her mouth and felt nauseous.

"I'll be back," I told Janelle. She didn't seem to hear me. She sat on the couch looking spaced out.

"Hey, I um I'm gonna go," I told Liam.

He sat next to Emmie on the floor with one of his huge arms around her. She looked like a rag doll next to him.

"What? Are you serious? Why?" Then he looked over towards the kitchen and saw Selena making out with her new beau. "Oh. I get it."

I shrugged. "What? I'm just not feeling all this that's all."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Yeah. Ok. Sure."

I didn't care what Liam thought. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted to go home. I needed to get away. I needed to stop thinking about Selena.

"You shouldn't have left so early bro. The party got better later on," Liam blurted out as he did some push ups. We were working out in between our training sessions. I was lifting weights in the meantime.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Janelle was so drunk, she started dancing around. She was bumping and grinding up against that dude Selena brought to the party."

I listened.

"Selena didn't seem to mind. She just sat back and let her man get a lap dance from Janelle. She took off her top putting her titties all over his face. It was fuckin' hilarious."

I put my weights down and grabbed a towel to wipe my sweat off with. "So Selena was cool with all this?"

He nodded. He stopped and stood up. He got his water bottle and drank the entire thing within seconds. "That was strange to me too but I guess Selena isn't into that dude anyway."

I felt somewhat relieved. "Oh."

Liam laughed. "So what are you waiting for?"

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"Ask her out."


"Uh yeah. C'mon bro, I know you're into her."

I got my bottle of water and took a long drink before answering. "Yeah I am but she dates big dudes. Not wimps like me anyway."

Liam laughed. He got back down on the floor to do more push ups. "I caught her looking at you when you left the party. She seemed disappointed."

Liam was trying to boost my self-esteem. It was working. "Yeah right."

"Alright, don't believe me."

I felt a smile creeping on my face. "I do like her. She's gorgeous. She's all I think about, but I don't know. I find it so hard to talk to her. Every time I try, or want to, someone interrupts us or I back out."

"You need to start making the moves bro. She's not going to wait forever."

I knew Liam was right. I had to talk to Selena soon. I went back to lifting weights. I added more weight than the last time. I was starting to feel somewhat confident.

It wasn't until after seven that night when I finished with my last client. I was in the break room selecting Glaceau Vitamin Water from the vending machine when I heard that sweet Spanish accent voice.

"Hello Chaz."

The way she said my name excited me. She stood behind me drenched in sweat. Her dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wore her blue Nike Shocks, black short cotton shorts and a red sports bra.

"Hey Selena," I answered in a nervous voice.

She flashed me that sexy Catherine Zeta Jones smile of hers. "Why did you leave the party so early last night?" Her eyelashes were long and jet-black.

My shaky hand reached over to the machine and selected the vitamin water. "Um I had some things to do. Did I miss out on much?" I asked curiously.

She nodded. "I'm sure Liam told you about Janelle. She's so crazy." Her smile was so radiant. I felt my heart racing faster than when I ran on the treadmill.

"Yeah, he kinda did. Too bad I missed that," I joked.

She laughed softly, so sexy.

I stood there for a moment not knowing what to say. I felt so stupid for standing there completely mesmerized by her. She looked behind me and then into my eyes. "Um do you ... mind? I need to get me some water."

I felt like an idiot. I grabbed my vitamin water and stepped aside to let her buy her water. She slipped in the dollar bill and selected Dasani water. I couldn't help but watch her bend down to get her water. I was now even more in love with her.

"My last client was such a hard ass," she said to me. "He was getting mad because I was making him do extra sit ups. He complained to me how he wants to lose his gut. How does he expect to do that when he's whining about sit ups?"

I opened my vitamin water and took a drink. "Yeah I know. Some people are like that. It's just our jobs to encourage them and tell them to do what is best for them."

She opened her water and took a small sip. Her red lipstick stuck to the rim of the water bottle. "I'm beat. I'm so ready to go home and take a long hot bubble bath." She batted her eyelashes.

My hands began to shake more. Just imagining her, naked, wet in the bathtub was making me almost drop my vitamin water. "Y-yeah that sounds good." Stupid reply.

She laughed again, that deep, sexy, soft laugh. "Well, see you later, Chaz." She winked and walked away slowly swaying her hips. She knew damn well I was staring. How could I not?

When I got home to the apartment I shared with Liam, he was busy lifting weights. He had Alice in Chains blasting on the stereo. I threw my backpack that held my dirty clothes on the floor and flung my keys on the coffee table.

"Don't you get tired of working out? Jesus!"

Liam put the weights down. He grabbed the stereo remote and turned down the music. "What?" He yelled.

"Nothing," I mumbled and headed to the fridge. I grabbed an apple and headed back to the living room. I flopped down on the couch. I sighed. "I just don't see how you work out all damn day. I'm tired of working out. I do it, not as much as you, but I still do a few hours a day and I'm not nearly as big as you. What's the deal?"

Liam grabs a towel and wipes the sweat off his face. "Look, I told you it takes time."

I laughed. "Yeah and you KEEP telling me that. I want to look like you do now. I want to be big. I see how people look at you. They are in awe of you bro. They talk to you. You get attention. You're not in the shadows like me."

Liam sighed. He nodded and took a sip of his Smart Water. "Give it time."

It's all he would tell me. It's all he kept telling me. Over and over again. Yet, I saw no results. Sure, I had muscles but nothing like him. No one ever stopped to talk to me and ask me what my secret was. No one really cared about me.

I had forgotten how much I wanted to be built like Liam. Until the day that changed my life forever. I watched her as she stroked his muscles and giggled. She was flirting with him, it was so obvious! Conrad stood there with his huge arms crossed letting Selena run her hands all over them. They were standing in the hallway by one of the aerobic rooms.

"They feel like rocks!" She giggled.

Conrad flexed his muscles and that seemed to turn Selena on even more. "I think they're sexy. I love muscles. Lots of them! Big muscular guys ... oh they do it for me." Her voice was sounding nervous now. I wondered if she was about to have an orgasm.

"Well, it aint easy keeping up the muscles doll," Conrad teased.

This fucker was pissing me off. He spotted me looking at them. I stood by the water fountain pretending I was about to get a drink of water. He gave me a "hey" nod and continued to flirt with the woman of my dreams.

Selena turned and gave me that gorgeous smile. I waved to her. Her eyes piercing me, reading me knowing damn well I liked her so much. I bent down to take a drink of water. Once I gulped down a few drinks, I looked up to see her touching Conrad's arms again.

It was then, that I headed back to the weight room and continued to work harder on my form. I was in there for over four hours. I came out, my arms feeling like Jell-O. I was hurting so much. I didn't care. I wanted to be big. I NEEDED to be big. Selena's words "I love muscles," rang in my ears. Her words clung to my memory making me work harder towards my goal. I worked out more and more until my body gave in. No matter how much I did, my muscles wouldn't get that big.

Liam was one to never tell a secret. That can be good and it can be bad. You have a friend that's holding out information, crucial information, makes you wonder if he is really a friend at all.

I came home early that day. My entire body was aching from all the intense weightlifting that I had endured that day. I guess he wasn't expecting me to come home. I walked into the apartment; quietly thinking maybe my friend was asleep since he'd been partying the night before. It was past one in the afternoon, but sometimes Liam slept until three when he partied hard.

The apartment was silent. I headed off to the bathroom needed to take a major piss. I opened the bathroom door and suddenly felt numb. I saw the needle. I saw Liam's naked ass and I saw the horror look on his face when he saw me.

I stood there for a moment thinking I was dreaming. Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe I needed more rest and less working out. We stood in silence for what seemed to be forever.

"Close the fuckin' door!"

I winced and quickly shut the bathroom door. My heart was pounding and my hands were trembling. Now I knew Liam's secret. He was using fuckin' steroids. How could I never think he did steroids? I was naïve and thought men could actually get huge with natural workouts and training. How could I have been THAT stupid?

I leaned against the hallway wall letting my heart slowly get its natural rhythm back. I waited. It seemed like hours before Liam finally opened the door. His face was flushed and he was sweating. He looked at me for a moment and walked right past me. I hadn't realized that my need to piss had completely vanished. He headed straight for his room and shut the door. I heard him lock it. I let out the breath I had been holding in. I didn't know what to do. Should I knock on my friend's door and ask him to talk to me? Or should I just go on and pretend I never saw anything?

My bladder started to give in and I rushed inside the restroom. After finishing up, I opened the door to see Liam standing in the hallway. He looked frightened and nervous.

"Hey um ... well I guess now you know my secret eh?" His voice almost a whisper.

I nodded.

"So now you know. I never told you how I got this big because I didn't want you to know about my secret bro."

I stayed silent.

"So ... yeah ... you're not going to say anything?"

I shrugged. "What do you want me to say?"

He looked down. His embarrassment was killing me. "I don't know. I guess I want you to forget you saw what you did, but I know that won't happen."

I looked away. "It's not something anyone can easily forget."

"I know," his eyes were piercing me. I could feel them. I looked at him and watched how pale his face was.

"So how long have you been doing steroids?"

"Since I was a teen."

"I hear they're bad," I said quietly.

He nodded. "They can be, in the long run."

"They why do you do them?"

"Because I want to be strong. I want to look strong. I feel I can control the way I look. I was once like ... you," he almost hesitates to say.

I stay silent for a moment. "Why don't you let me in on some steroids?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Because I'm your friend. I wouldn't want you to get into them."

I sighed. "If you are really a friend you'll help me."

He says nothing.

"You know how difficult it's been for me here. I can't even get a girlfriend. I can't get people to talk to me. You ... I always see people talking to you. They are amazed by you. You fascinate them with how you look. I see the ladies ogling you. If you're a friend, wouldn't you want me to have the confidence you have?"

He nodded. "It's not that bro, it's just that ... what if something goes wrong?"

"What else could go wrong with me? Can't I be confident for a while at least? Can't I be happy?"

He shrugged. "If that's what you want, I guess I'm no one to tell you NOT to do steroids."

He gave in and introduced me to the world of steroids. From that moment on, my entire life changed.

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