Chapter 1

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Fiction, Humor, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Exhibitionism, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Pussy Boxwilder, the stage name for Helen Snodgrass, always wanted to be a TV star in Hornywood. This is the story of how she managed that and her triumphs after reaching her goal. Readers should note that this is a satire and should not be taken literally. Or should it!?!

"Mr. Longshaft, this is Mr. Arnold Sharp and Ms Pussy Boxwilder here for their 2:00 PM appointment."

"Hi, JL, I've got your new star attraction ready for her addition. She's hotter than any three others you have under contract, as I am sure you will agree after her audition. Pussy, say hello to JL."

"Hello, Mr. Longshaft, I'm ready and all hot to audition for you. I'm dripping so much I'm afraid I will stain your carpet."

"Make yourself real scarce, Arnie. I don't need your supervision to do this audition." As soon as Sharp had bowed himself out of the room, Longshaft stood up and said, "Well, Pussy, let's get started."

Longshaft was dressed for the occasion in nothing but a robe and some slippers. He walked toward Pussy and raised his arms to her shoulders. She was wearing the ultimate in the little black fuck-me dress, fishnet stockings, and four-inch black heels. Longshaft slid the spaghetti-straps of her dress over her arms, and she shook her body slightly so that the dress fell to the carpet. As expected by Longshaft, she wore nothing under her dress, except for the stockings. "Should I remove my shoes and stockings?" Pussy asked, but she was told not to bother.

Longshaft was impressed by the body he saw standing before him. Pussy was nearly as tall as he was, 5'-9" tall, and built like the proverbial brick chicken house! Her breasts were 36DD, and her waist was 28. Her hips were 34, and she demonstrated the finest in the plastic surgeon's art. Pussy had been a 34C, but she had figured that a little augmentation never hurt anything!

Along with all of this, her face, which had not needed a plastic surgeon, was one that any woman would kill for. Her green eyes complimented her red hair. Her very fair skin did not show a single blemishing freckle, and her freshly shaved pussy did not give lie to her hair color. Pussy Boxwilder's total presentation of herself prove that she was a natural for the kind of movies and TV shows that Longshaft's production company was well known for. Now, the question was whether or not she could act! Longshaft meant to find out.

He loosened the tie on his robe and shrugged it off. He stepped out of his slippers and gestured for Pussy to take her place on the casting couch. She walked over and sat down on the edge of the couch, but did not raise her legs to the couch. Instead, she spread her knees and grasped JL by the hips to pull him toward her between her legs.

JL was somewhat jaded by all of the would be stars that he interviewed; therefore, he was not yet fully hard as his cock got close to Pussy's full lips. She did not let this deter her, but gently took his cock in her right hand and directed it close enough to her mouth so that she could reach the head with her tongue. Of course, before doing anything else, Pussy kissed the tip of JL's cock, as convention demanded.

Her next step was to begin licking the head of his cock, and she was doing it so skillfully that he was growing already. She licked all around the head of his cock, paying particular attention to the part on the underside where the helmet joined the shaft. JL began to react as she wanted, and he was fully hard, about 6 inches long, by the time she wrapped her lips around his cock head.

She slid her lips up and down his shaft for about an inch to get him used to the feel of her lips and to demonstrate her skill. She moved up and down for five strokes and then, without warning, pushed her nose into his pubic hair. JL almost collapsed with surprise when he felt his cock head enter her throat. JL had no idea that Pussy had spent most of her high school days in learning to deep throat without gagging.

Pussy now moved her head back and forth over JL's cock shaft in what amounted to a fucking motion. Simultaneously with this back and forth motion, she used her tongue to stimulate him as much as possible. While all of this was going on, Pussy was gently fondling JL's balls so that they would contribute to his pleasure.

JL rose to an orgasmic peak much faster than he had ever done before, so much so, that he had no opportunity to warn Pussy that he was about to jet. Therefore, his first jet of jizz did catch her by surprise, but Pussy reacted like a real trooper. She drew her head back enough to catch JL's jizz in her mouth and refrain from swallowing until she had drained him completely. At this point, she opened her mouth so that JL could see the puddle of semen lying on her tongue. She swallowed only after he had seen what she was displaying. Showing JL the puddle of semen was somewhat superfluous, since he certainly knew that he had ejaculated into her mouth. Nevertheless, this was part of the blow job routine, and Pussy made a point of not skipping any of it.

Pussy returned her mouth to JL's sagging cock and sucked to remove the last of his semen. Once she was sure that he was completely empty, she kissed the tip of his cock again and swiveled around to lie on her back on the couch.

JL was so drained by this blow job that he sat down on the edge of the couch in order to recover. This was a new experience for him, in that he was so used to blow jobs administered by prospective employees that he thought he was immune to this kind of reaction. He sat on the edge of the couch, puffing and blowing, until he had recovered his breath. He smiled and said to Pussy, "My dear, if you can fuck as well as you can blow, you are destined to become the Queen of Hornywood!

"Well, Mr. Longshaft, thank you for the compliment, and I hope I can do just as well in the rest of the audition. Please lie down beside me so that I can get you energized for the rest of your testing."

Pussy started out by taking his limp cock in her hand and slowly jacking him off while she kissed his nipples and around on his chest. She slowly worked her way down his abdomen until she reached his pubic hair. By this time, the stimulation had started blood flowing back into his cock, and he was already half-hard. Now, Pussy shifted her position enough to begin sucking on his cock again. However, this time she was very gentle in her motion since all she wanted was to get him hard and not to make him come again. Pussy knew her skill, so she was not surprised, but JL was when he was fully hard after only 15 minutes of waiting and masterful manipulation.

They started out in the missionary position. JL was still a little tired from his blow job, so Pussy guided him into her cunt. She spread her pussy lips with her left hand and gently pulled his hard cock with her right hand. Once JL was lined up, Pussy moved her hands out of the way and used them to pull on his ass cheeks to signal that she was ready to be fucked.

JL pushed somewhat gently past Pussy's nether lips as if he were trying to be gentle with her. Pussy knew that there was no such thing as gentle in the business she was trying to break into, so she took matters into her own hands by pulling hard on JL's ass cheeks while she pumped her ass as hard as she could off the couch. The combination drove JL's cock its maximum distance into her cunt. Pussy was amazed at how good that buried cock felt. Pussy moaned with pleasure, and JL grunted his own pleasure.

JL began to stroke as only a man with his long practice knew how to do. He took Pussy's actions at face value and pumped as hard and as vigorously as he was able. Pussy had never been fucked by a man with such skill, so she began to rise to an orgasm, even though she had figured she was going to have to fake several before this audition was over. JL stroked and Pussy responded with moans and jerks of her hips. She began to rise higher and higher until finally she overflowed into a strong orgasm that JL could not help noticing.

JL decided that this was a live one, and he was in no hurry to stop the audition. Nevertheless, JL stopped pumping and ordered Pussy to move to the doggie position. This was not Pussy's favorite position, but she figured that she had better do whatever the boss wanted from her. She got on her knees and rested her shoulders on the couch. This presented a very delectable ass hole to JL, and he could not resist the temptation.

JL reached into a side table drawer and removed a bottle of lubricant. He covered his cock with the lube and proceeded to lube Pussy's ass hole. He started out by pushing one finger into her little hole and moved it around a bit. Pussy was familiar with an ass fuck, so she relaxed her sphincter and let JL continue with what he had in mind. He went to two fingers and then to three. At that point, JL assumed that Pussy's ass hole was opened sufficiently.

He had not fucked an applicant in the ass in over a month, so he was anxious to get to it. The anticipation of the relatively rare ass fuck was enough to bring his cock back to full hardness. JL was adept at any kind of fucking, and he knew just what to do to bring his partner to orgasm, so he was confident that Pussy was going to enjoy this experience as much as he was.

Pussy had relaxed enough so that JL had no trouble working his prick up her bum. In only two strokes, JL had penetrated until his pubic bone had banged against Pussy's ass cheeks, and his balls had flopped against her pussy. Pussy could tell that she was working with an expert, and she hoped that he would last long enough for her to come again. If not, she would fake it, because she really wanted this job, but she hoped that JL would carry her all the way.

JL was back to pumping vigorously, and he reached around to diddle Pussy's clit as he stroked in and out of her ass hole. Pussy had started to moan and drive back against JL's strokes as if her motion could drive his cock in even further. That was impossible, but they both enjoyed the effort.

This continued for a few minutes until Pussy felt herself rising again to a climax. Wow! Pussy was willing to go through even more auditions if they were all like this one! For Pussy, orgasms generated in her ass hole were not exactly the same as those generated in her cunt, but she thoroughly enjoyed both of them and was looking forward to the orgasm that seemed to be on the way.

Then it hit her! Pussy seemed to go wild! She jerked from side to side and back and forth as she came. Again, JL was demonstrating his ability as a master fucker. Pussy was feeling one of the strongest orgasms she had ever reached from an ass-fuck, and her bouncing around was a superlative demonstration of her appreciation. She clamped down on JL's cock with a rhythmic motion that he could not resist. Pussy had hardly entered her orgasm before JL started to come, himself. This was a remarkably strong orgasm for JL, too, and he hoped that Pussy would visit him often for more "auditions."

They both collapsed on the couch and struggled to regain their breaths. Once he had calmed down enough to talk, JL said, "Pussy, my dear, you have certainly passed your audition requirements, and I will have my people contact your agent to prepare the necessary contracts. There is a minimum wage at which you must start your acting career, but we will put into the contract incentive clauses, so you can expect to be paid at a rate much higher than the minimum.

"By the way, now that you are an employee of Super Entertainments and Exhibitions, Incorporated, you may feel free to call me JL. That is something I expect from all of my loyal employees. You may get dressed and leave now. For sure, I am shot for the rest of the day!"

"Thank you, JL. I am proud to be an employee of SEX, Inc. Please call on me whenever I can be of service. I am looking forward to my first roll in one of your productions."

Pussy went to the attached bathroom and took a quick shower. Though everybody in the corporation knew exactly what she had been doing, she still wanted to maintain the semblance of propriety. Besides, those clothes were expensive and she didn't want them messed up with semen stains.

She went out the door and was met by an effusive Arnie Sharp. "I know you got the job, Honey, because JL never keeps any girl that long without hiring her. Congratulations, and I will contact his people about getting you as favorable a contract as possible."

"Thanks, Arnie. JL said that the contract would have incentive clauses in it, so don't let the accountants forget that. Right now, every buck is important!"


The monster arachnoid (that's a spiderlike Bug Eyed Monster (BEM)) marched across his web purely with sex on his mind. That was obvious from the huge cock that hung from the underside of his body.

He reached the beautiful woman trapped in the web and grasped her with his two forelegs. A sharp pull jerked her loose from the web, and that produced an interesting result. Her exposed skin came loose with no adverse effect, but her clothes stuck to the web and were torn from her body when the arachnoid pulled. Even her panties and bra stuck to the web so that she was completely naked and the cameras caught every delectable square inch of her body.

She kicked the monster and beat on it with her fists vigorously and very convincingly, but she had no chance of breaking loose from his fierce grip. He turned with her and headed toward the center of his web.

Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a man was standing in front of them and brandishing a mighty club. He was wearing nothing but a posing pouch covering his genitals, and it was possible to see virtually every muscle he owned. Such a specimen of male humanity was almost hard to believe, he made Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime look just so-so. Any woman who saw him was either going to swoon from sexual anticipation or faint from pure fear. This character, the hero of the movie, was played by John Buffton.

Our hero, Conarc, was just this side of a savage, and he hated those arachnoids with a purple passion. Whenever he saw one, the script called for an all out attack. The fact that the arachnoid was holding such a beautiful example of human female pulchritude only added to Conarc's rage. Conarc attacked with such ferocity that he had soon clubbed the BEM to death. However, in the fight his posing pouch had been torn away and it was possible to see his magnificent cock and balls.

Our heroine of the moment, Shirley, played by Pussy Boxwilder in her first role in a movie produced by SEX, Inc. was careful not to forget her lines. "Oh, Conarc, you are so wonderful to rescue me. How can I reward you? Oh, I know, I will fuck your eyes out!"

Conarc picked up Shirley without saying a word and marched to the center of the web where the script said there would be no stickiness. By this time, his cock had grown to full hardness, and was a little over 9 inches long and nearly 2 inches in diameter. Conarc dropped Shirley onto her hands and knees and proceeded to mount her in doggy fashion. Of course, this was part of the script, so Pussy's ass hole had been prepared in advance. She was so full of lubricant that she squeezed her sphincter a little when Conarc let his cock head make contact with her ass hole and that lubricated him sufficiently so that he could slide in.

The cameras dollied into position so they could get a full exposure of the coupling. This was a TV show that was being filmed, so they wanted to make sure that nothing was missed. Conarc vigorously fucked Shirley's ass hole until they both came. Fortunately, both of the actors were so experienced with fucking that there was no need to fake the orgasms. Conarc did not pull out of Shirley's ass hole until after he had shot his jizz, but there was no question that he had come, because of the white liquid that dripped out of her ass hole as soon as he pulled back and released the plug.

The director shouted "CUT!", and everybody relaxed. The director rushed over to the actors and congratulated them on their performances. He was especially pleased because he was able to use the first "take," and that saved SEX, Inc. a wad of money, some of which he would receive as a bonus.

Pussy was happy to, because she would get a bonus out of the money saved, and that was an important point for an actor appearing in her first major production. John Buffton, who was well known as a social prick, even complimented Pussy on her performance and said that he would like to appear with her again. That was high praise, indeed, and something normally never heard from that SOB.

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Consensual / Fiction / Humor / Oral Sex / Anal Sex / Exhibitionism /