Chapter 5: Measure Them In Feet

By the Friday evening, Louise was excited about the trip. She didn't get away much, not being able to afford to run a car. A weekend away would be a break for her as well as being company for Jessica. Louise's only reservation was that her bust had now reached 48 inches, which was pretty impressive on her tiny frame. At least, it indicated that her rate of growth was slowing down after the initial burst.

I wished the same could be said for the Sargent girls and their friends. The six of them must by now have had a total of around 27 feet of bust, which was a little excessive for their tender ages, which ranged from eleven to just fourteen! One of them had apparently listened at the kitchen door to my conversation with her mother, and since then, the girls had been glugging coffee as if it was going out of fashion.

Another piece of news had turned up. Davie had called during the week, and referred to our earlier cryptic conversation. "Were you referring to girls' tits, by any chance?" he asked. My heart leapt. I told him I was. He said he thought he knew what I meant now.

"You remember Claudia?" Did I! Claudia was Davie's girlfriend. Things had cooled off in the last six months or so, he said, until she called him on Wednesday night. Urgently!

"What coffee does she drink?" I asked quickly.

"Shit, how would I know? Some Dutch stuff she found somewhere. Can't stand it!"

"Davie! Her tits? Are they... ?"

"They're enormous, Col. You gotta see them. How's about this weekend?"

So it was all arranged. Davie was bringing Claudia round to Jessica's on Saturday evening. We would make a night of it, the seven of us, if you counted Baby and Acme.

"There's a link between coffee and the water softener ... That much is obvious. What's not so clear is why some women aren't affected," I said to Louise as we drove down the road that Friday night. If we could find out, we could do something about it.

"You mean, like go into the breast enlargement business?"

"I hadn't thought of it from that angle, but yes! At least, if women didn't want to get bigger, we could publish a warning, or make a modification to the softener to filter out the caffeine or whatever is causing it."

"Black or white?"

"What... ?"

"Could it be something to do with the way they take their coffee. I drink mine white. I bet the Sargent girls do, too. What about that cow, what'ser name, Mrs Shoesmith? How does she take it? Apart from any way she can get it, that is!"

I was uncomfortable with Louise mentioning Linda Shoesmith. "Black, I think. So does Mrs Sargent. You know, that could be the answer!"

"Well, we'll have it confirmed when we get to Jessica's. How about Claudia? And Jessica for that matter?"

Jessica loved it white, I remembered that much.

Jessica certainly did like it white!

She hugged Louise, but the two girls were standing about four feet apart!

Jessica was immense! I hadn't seen her for a week, and in that time her normal and highly respectable 34DD bust had swelled to a phenomenal 55 inches! Or so she said, and I had no reason to doubt her word. "Whaddya think of this little lot, brother?" she asked, proudly. I had to admit it looked good on her. I told her of our theory about the coffee and the water, and she said, yes, she liked it with lots of milk!