Chapter 17: Push!

Well, no one is going to jail! At least not now.

Lena has been good to her word; there have been no problems. Rose and Lily have been good to their words about how they were feeling. The only real change is that they have attached more strongly to Jake.

Nic2 and I have a talk about the RN degree and what had gone on relating to that and babies. It seems I was completely left out of the loop on that whole matter. It's not that I needed to be in the loop, it's just that I feel miffed that I was not included. At least now I know why Nic2 is not pregnant. I don't think she really wants to be a nurse, but it is the best way to secure the H-1 visa and that is crucial for her. Besides Jake laughingly told us that when he gets really old, he will need medical care, and Nic2 will be the one in charge. Nic2 is not grinning. All she says is that she better become a doctor if that is the case.

So everything settles down and returns to normal as much as we can have it. Abe is growing up and developing a real personality. I am the only one pregnant and due any day now. Rose and Lily benefit (they tell me), as they have far more access to Jake than they have had in the past, now that Lena is not here on weekends and I am not in Jake's bed. I have sworn off sex for the duration.

Lily gives me a lotion and oil bath twice a day. Jake takes time with me everyday. We sit and talk and also go for walks. I am so over this pregnancy stuff. I want it to be done with. I am about to be a nineteen year old mother. That fact is not scary, as I will have my mother right here the whole time. I do not have to raise my child alone. No, my child will have a Mom, Dad, Grandmother and three aunts under the same roof. I consider myself lucky. As to the sex of the baby inside me, I have no idea. There have been sonograms but each time I told the nurse I didn't want to know the sex of my baby.

I am feeling blue. I am HUGE. I waddle instead of walk. All I want to do is sleep and eat. And I am constantly needing to pee! How unsexy – how unromantic is that?

Rose is now seventeen. She is gorgeous. I am so jealous. I am a whale and she is this beauty queen. How did I let this happen? Rose is more beautiful than Gel, Nic2 and, of course, me. Her breasts are larger and perfectly firm. Her skin is flawless. Her hips are wider and sexier than are the rest of ours. Her hair is perfect. Her calves look miraculous in heels. And adding insult to injury, her belly is perfectly flat. She is sweet in her manner, always courteous and good-natured. Jake tells me she has developed into a champion when it comes to giving head. Worst of all, it was my desires that brought her into the family! God, what have I done to myself?

[Translated from Tagalog]

What Mom has told me does help, but I decide I need more sisterly assurance. Nic2 is still up at the college, but she will be home for supper. I will talk with her before bedtime.

In the mean time I swear I know I shouldn't react so strongly every time I get these Braxton Hicks contractions. They started toward the end of the second trimester. (God! I sound like my Ob/Gyn.) Anyway if these are practice contractions, I'm sure as hell all practiced up. Gel just smiles and reminds me I couldn't wait to get pregnant. Then, between fits of laughter, she tells me that God is just reminding me of the consequences of my desires. Time to pee and then a nap.

Even a two hour nap is heaven. That's just what I get. Rose is helping Gel, by watching Abe, while Gel gets supper ready.

It's just before 4pm and I walk into Jake's office. As usual he's typing something. He minimizes it when I walk in. I kid him about secret lovers and he responds by saying I wouldn't want to read about myself on the screen. He's teasing of course. He probably doesn't want an inadvertent error to creep in by an accidental touch while we are talking.

Filipino, bobo asawa. [stupid husband]

It is 5:30pm and supper is on the table. I am so hungry. I eat and eat and eat. Not all at once. Very slowly, but non-stop, I work through the food at the table. It doesn't make me feel less like a blimp but I just can't help it. I need to eat. I am still eating as everyone else has left the table. I ask Nic2 to sit with me. She crinkles her brow, but stays seated across from me.

Whenever anyone else makes afridata, or caldoreta, they just put the vegetables in the pot, but Gel precooks by deep frying them and the result is a far better tasting dish. With each dish she cooks, she brings special skill. The result is amazing, like the lechon kawali, where she uses corn starch on the pork belly chucks after they are boiled but before she fries them. It's odd because my grandmother doesn't do any of these things. Nor does anyone else I know. Only Gel. I have asked her about how she learned to cook like this and all I get is a blank stare and a question: It tastes good, right?