Chapter 7: Life Happens!

What is life? How do we live? Is it enough to be just alive? If you are alive, you may have asked yourself these questions at some points; you may have pondered these questions on certain occasions, for with it comes wisdom of why we are made.

If you ever wondered about life, you'd realise that it is much more than just breathing, eating, procreating or doing what scientists refer to as the characteristics of life. If you ever wondered about life, you'd come to the realisation that we are alive for a purpose, that the purpose for our living must be realised if we ever hope to live a fulfilled life; if we ever wondered about life, we'd ask ourselves what fate and destiny is there for us, or if we are the ones that make our fate in life.

But life isn't just the primary theme of discussion. When one talks about life, our minds drift to a particular issue; some call it fate, others refer to it as destiny. But whatever name we choose to call it, the point still remains that we don't really know anything about it. Is destiny following a path that had been predestined even before we were born? Is destiny about living our lives the way we see fit, hoping against all hope that it would lead to fulfilment. Some believe that our life paths were marked out for us by the creator even before we were conceived. They cite prophesies about great men in our history. And I asked, is it enough to base knowledge on myths and legends? If this school of thought were true, are we saying that the Creator would knowingly make our destiny to be full of pains and suffering. Would a Creator choose for the created to suffer, attributing it to the grand design of things?

The keyword is choice. Every day of our lives, we are presented with options, opportunities and choices to make. Sometimes we don't even know anything about the choices we are making, other times we do not even realise that a choice is being made. But most of the time, we choose to not even think about the options available to us, in the hope that it would all resolve itself. And like they say, 'not making a choice is a choice on its own.'

Every single moment of our life is made up of choices, directly or indirectly influenced by the environment that we find ourselves. Most times, the choices we make depend upon the choices that people around us make. We might claim that our choices are made independent of external influences, which are made to suit our personal needs, but more often than not, these same choices turn out to be a result of our day-to-day experiences. We are responsible for our lives, our actions, our choices. Our destiny, be it determined by the Creator or by our actions still depend on the choices we make.

JANUARY 4TH, 1998.

Bethany and I were walking down from her house to mine. We had dinner at the Fergusons and she was walking with me home. The moms were behind us, talking about whatever it was that they talked about. We were holding hands; there was nothing to it, just two friends enjoying the night. We had been quiet all through the walk when Bethany said;

"The night is beautiful." I looked around me, up to the sky and nodded, not that she saw me anyway. " ... What do you want to do tonight?"

"I don't know." I sighed, letting out a huge air. " ... Tomorrow, I start school, I just want to go to bed, I guess." There must have been something with the tone I said it for she asked me;

"Are you nervous?" she looked at me with that gaze that I have always detested. With it, she could make me tell her anything. I knew that there was no way I was going to lie to her; she'd find out.

"I guess I am." I replied her with another sigh.

"Why are you nervous?" She wasn't going to let it rest.

"What kind of question is that? Why shouldn't I be nervous?"

"I, I, I don't know. I figured you were smart and all?" she stuttered. She wasn't expecting me to turn the tables on her.

"It doesn't have anything to do with how smart I am." I had figured that smartness in that context was intelligence. " ... I don't have any friend in that school. I don't know anybody." There it was, I finally said it.

"What do you mean you don't know anybody or have any friend? You have me. I thought we were friends?" She asked in a startled, surprised voice.

"I, I, uh, I guess I didn't include you among the lot." I was stuttering big time.

"What do you mean by not including me among the lot?" Her voice was definitely high pitched and she stopped walking, causing me to stop as well. Her whole attention was on me.

I stuttered, wanting to see if I could evade the question or think of something smart to say; I couldn't. What do you say to that?

"Are we like friends?" I finally asked her.

"What?" she almost screamed. "What do you think we are?"

"I don't know. I figured we talk because our moms are friends."

"Tell me why I wouldn't want to be your friend?"

"I don't know. I figured you are too pretty to even bother with me." I had spent time with Bethany, and I had come to see the effect she had on boys and some men. She could practically control anybody of the opposite sex. Her facial expression softened and a smile appeared on her face.

She doused my hair in a manner a mother would when reprimanding her child. "I am your friend, dufus, your first friend in this country. And I will always be." Her face was stern, but there was a glint of smile on it.

"You are my friend, my first friend in this country. And you will always be." I repeated after her.

"That's right. Don't you ever forget that." She smiled to me.

"I won't" I promised, returning her smile. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being my friend, and for knowing what to say to me?" She smiled at me. "You are welcome." We resumed our walk back to my house.

When we got to the house, we stopped at the patio.

"I guess this is goodnight." I said to her, turning so that we were facing each other.

"I guess it is" She replied. I turned to go into the house, but she beat me to it, she stepped to where I was, not minding the fact that she was taller than me by a good 3 inches, leaned down and kissed my cheeks. It was the first kiss from anyone not my family member and it left me speechless.

"What was that?" I asked her.

"It was a kiss, a kiss on the cheeks dufus."

"I know it was a kiss. I guess I wanted to say why?"

"Why kiss you? You are my friend, and I felt like it."

"Cool" I said with a smile that could have lit up the world. That was one of her favourite words.

"I am glad you liked it." She said with a laugh.

"Cool" I said again. She laughed out loudly.

"You are welcomed." Her laugh was still there. "If you have finished celebrating your kiss, I'd like to go home now."

Somehow, it didn't feel right just leaving her like that, so I leaned in and kissed her cheeks, both cheeks.

"I see you learn very fast." She said breathlessly.

"I am indeed smart." I replied with a wink.

"That you are."

Before we could say any other thing, the moms reached us.

"Are the both of you up to something mischievous?" Beth asked us.

"Well that is if you count the fact that EJ and I just kissed each other." Bethany retorted. I was sure that I was flushed, that had I a fairer skin colour, I would have been red.

"Wow, I think it's time to start chaperoning the both of you, what do you think Beth?" Mom was flustered.

"You mean EJ kissed you?" Mom asked incredulously.

"Yes Mrs Williams, he and I both kissed each other."

"Wow" That was all mom could say. " ... My son is definitely maturing."

I was definitely embarrassed beyond belief, so I quickly said my good nights to everybody and beat a hasty retreat, to the laughter of everybody.

Lying on my bed that night, I couldn't help but touch the cheek where Bethany had kissed me. I recalled the emotions running through me when she kissed me and I kissed her back. I had seen my parents kiss each other that it was just an ordinary thing to me, but being the recipient of that gesture, made me aware of emotions that were foreign to me. It also made me aware of body reactions that were foreign to me. I went to bed thinking that tomorrow was another day and I would get to kiss Bethany again. Dream on, buster.

STARTING SCHOOL!!

"Are you excited to be starting school?" Mom asked. It was Monday, the 5th of January, 1998. School was about to start after the whole Christmas break, and we were already prepared and about to leave for the school. We would be riding with both Beth and Bethany to school.

"I wouldn't particularly call it excitement. I am nervous. I wish I can just stay at home."

"But why honey? You used to like school. What happened?"

"I like school." I said with a pathetic groan. " ... It's just that I don't know, what if they demote me to a class that is beneath me? What if I am not accepted in my class?" I had been worried all night about those things. I didn't know anything about life in Middle school and it scared me; not being in the know is never a good position to be in.

"Look at me, Eeej, You are an Intelligent boy and I have no doubt, whatsoever that you'd be put in a class that you deserve. As for being accepted in class, you have to find a way to make them accept you. Life is not easy, and I trust you."

I would have said something, but that option was taken away from me by the sound of a hooting horn. "com'on let's go. We don't wanna be late." I should tell you though that mom and I had a long discussion on New Year's Day about the challenges I was facing. I told her about my inability to follow in a conversation because of not understanding the accent and all. Her solution was that from that day forward, we were going to discuss everything we wanted to discuss in English language. It wasn't particularly the solution I would have chosen, but we had already started implementing it.

"Good morning Beth." I said entering the back seat of the car. Bethany was there, and she gave me a little smile that would have lit up New York had I not been anxious about school.

"You don't look too good this morning, what's the problem?" Bethany asked turning in her seat to see me reply her, I never did.

"Eeej has a bad case of anxiety this morning." Mom replied to the people who were already waiting for a reply.

"Anxiety?" Beth asked. "Tell me the pope has a hard on." Everyone burst out laughing, including mom.

"Uh, Beth?" I called to Mrs. Ferguson. "Yes EJ." She replied. "What's a hard on?" I shouldn't have asked that question. It was like a trigger was pulled. Everybody in that car burst out laughing, everybody except me.

After they had calmed down, Beth asked me; "Seriously EJ, I thought you were a supper Genius or something?"

"Well I don't know about being a genius, but I haven't heard that word, what's it again?" That set them off in their second round of laughter. It wasn't helping any matter.

"Oh my God. I can't believe this." Beth said amidst laughter. "It's a hard on and it's another word for erection, that's assuming you know what erection is." They burst out laughing. At the mention of erection, the light went off in my head. "Oh" that was all I could say.

"God, you are so innocent. It's going to be an adventure corrupting you." Beth said.

"And why would I let you do that?" it was my mom, my mother. For a moment I thought she was serious but one look at her, the smug smile on her face, I knew that my mother had changed.

"Ohh, that would make it more interesting. You know I love challenges." Every one of them broke down in laughter. My life was officially over. I groaned. When had the simple discussion of being anxious to school degenerated into a talk of corrupting me? And what had happened to my mother? Beth was a really bad influence.

"Well not if I get him first, mom." I look at Bethany; I couldn't believe she had joined the mob against me. To make matter worse, she was looking back at me with a mischievous grin while maintaining an innocent look.

"I wouldn't be so sure Bethany; I am after all, the one who thought you about corrupting people."

"I won't be so sure about that if I were you; your daughter is pretty devious."

"Are we still talking about school?" I asked. As soon that question left my lips, I knew it was the wrong question to ask.

"Honey, we stopped talking about school long ago." That was enough to shut me up for the rest of the ride to school. They must have gotten tired of teasing me because they started talking about the mundane stuff women talk about. Yes, women, they were all women. Looking at Bethany, you'd blink in surprise if you were told that she was just thirteen. She looked like a full grown woman and she was desirable; they all were desirable.

Lately, I had come to identify my reactions towards Bethany and her mother. I had come to the knowledge that they were desirable women, who could elicit that kind of reaction from the opposite sex; I was a raging hormone. There were occasions when just staring at Beth or Bethany during dinner would make me hard south wise. I wondered why I never felt that way before, more specifically, why I never felt that way about mom. I realised that first I hadn't developed to the point of feeling that way back then. And secondly, people don't feel that way about their mothers. But that didn't make them any less desirable. Beth had caught me hard once. I had been terribly embarrassed about it. She told me not to worry about it though, that it was perfectly normal for boys my age to feel that way. Knowing that never made it any less embarrassing.

We arrived at the school; Bethany quickly hugged her mom and mine and made her way to the entrance of the school. The school actually had two entrances, one for the students leading to the classes, and another leading to the administrative side of the building. We followed the second entrance to the administrative offices. We were shown to the office of the principal, where we waited for the principal. Before long a busty woman walked into the office. She was probably 5'4 with big bust; those were her main distinguishing features.

"Ms Ferguson, it's nice to meet you again." The principal said after the initial greeting.

"It's nice meeting you too, Principal Turner. How were your holidays?"

"They were great. It's great to rest for some time." Looking at mom and I, she asked; "Who are these with you?"

"Oh, forgive my manners. This... " indicating to mom, " ... is Mrs Elizabeth Williams. And this..." Indicating to me, " ... Is her lovely son, Evans Robert Williams Jr. They just moved from Africa." We shook hands with the principal.

"It's a pleasure meeting you both." Principal Turner said.

"Thanks" I said

"The pleasure is mine." Mom said.

Gesturing with her hands, the Principal said; "Please have your seats." When we were seated, she asked; "What can I do for you please?"

"Mrs Hensen, our Immigration Officer said gave me this letter to give, said you'd understand once you read it."

"Oh, Mrs. Hensen, now I remember. She called me to explain your situation to me. I was expecting you, just not this early."

"It's alright. She said you'd help us get Evans settled academically."

"Yes, she did say that. I have been thinking over the holidays about your son's case. We normally don't accept student this time of the school year, but she assured me that your son was some kind of a genius. I must say that I am curious. So this is what we are going to do..." she leant forward, resting her hands on the table before her. " ... I have prepared some tests that he would take, if he passes them, we can see which grade we would be able to fix him into. How does that sound?"

"Wow, thanks for the help madam, I never thought of that."

"You are welcome." Principal Turner replied with a little smile.

"So when are we to come for the test?"

"I see no reason why we shouldn't conduct that now. If you are ready, please follow me." With that she got up, as did everyone else. We followed her to an empty classroom, where we were directed to sit. "If you don't mind, I would like to go and set things in motion. I would be back." With that, the principal left the classroom. Mom turned to me and asked, "How are you. EJ?"

It was the right question to ask. I had barely spoken a word since we came into the principal's office. We were talking about taking tests, tests that I wasn't aware of. It made me really anxious. I didn't think that I was ready.

"I am anxious, mom. What if I fail the tests?" I asked giving voice to my concern. It was Beth that came to the rescue.

"EJ, you don't need to be afraid of failing the tests. I know it's not been long I knew you, but most times, you don't act like a kid. I know that you will ace the tests, as does your mom. What's the worst that can happen, you fail and then you get to start grade six or even fifth grade. So, calm down and do your best. That's all we ask." Beth could be serious when she chose to. Her words allayed my fears. I was still nervous, but it wasn't serious.

I took the tests, a three hour test that was a killer. I was tested in everything that I presumed an average student would know. At the start of the tests, I was so nervous that my fingers were shaking, but as time went on, I relaxed enough to see that it wasn't that much different from what I have been taught. By the end of the tests, my confidence level had risen to the point where I was sure I aced the tests.

I was also asked to fill a form on a list of activities and interests that I could engage in. To be frank, I never knew that students engaged in extracurricular activities and that these activities formed a core of their workload. I was frank in the list of things that I could engage in but I knew that if my admission into the middle school rested on them, I had no chance at all.

We were asked to come back the next day. If I passed the tests, I would start school immediately, but if I didn't, I would have to be referred to the elementary school. I prayed that I passed the test.

I totally aced my tested when we went back the following day. I was given a note to take the class I was to have that morning. It was English. When I got in and delivered the letter to the English teacher, all eyes were on me and the whole class was quiet.

"Well, it seems like we have a new student class." The English teacher, a tall, lean rather handsome man said after going through the letter. "Standing before you is Mr Evans Roberts William Jr. And he is a member of this class from this day forward." Turning to me, he said, "The seat in the front is yours." I thanked him and sat down. I wasn't settled down when I heard my name,

"Mr Williams!" The English teacher called to me. I looked up at him. "What is your take on meritocracy?" He asked me, directing his full gaze at me.

"I don't quite follow Mr uhh, I don't think we've been introduced sir." I asked remembering most of the manners I have been taught at Greater Minds.

"Mr John Lewis. That's my name."

"Oh, it's a pleasure meeting you sir." I stood up and stretched out my hand to him in a handshake. I think he did a double take, but he recovered quickly and returned the handshake.

"I asked what your position on meritocracy is. Do you believe that people should be given positions based on their qualifications?"

"Sure, people should be given positions based on their qualifications."

"Why would you say that?" Mr Lewis asked, sitting on the edge of his table.

"I believe that giving people positions based on their qualification can reduce the level of mediocrity we see in the society today. People get to be given positions where they can excel."

"True." Mr Lewis said moving to stand directly before me. Our eyes were locked. "Do you honestly believe that you are qualified to be in this class?"

I knew that any answer I gave to this question was sensitive. "I believe that I am qualified to be here, otherwise I wouldn't be here in the first place, sir." I added the sir to tone down the tone with which I spoke to him. It seemed to me that Mr Lewis didn't want me to be there.

"Interesting" Mr Lewis was now smiling. He came to where I was, brought out his hand in a handshake, I took it. "Remember that and you won't have a problem in my class. Welcome to the class." "Thanks" I let out a sigh of relief. It looked like the worst was over. I should have known better.

English class was particularly interesting. Mr Lewis practically asked my opinion on everything he said. It was like he wanted to prove to the rest of the class that I was qualified to be in that class.

At the end of the period, I was packing my books when a group of boys came over to me. "Nigga!" They called to me.

I had read a lot of books on slavery to know that 'Nigga' is a derogatory term. I turned to him and in my 'who me' expression asked, "Are you talking to me?"

"That's right nigga, aint seen any other nigga around here." He even imitated the accent of a Negro.

"Well I don't know about you, but from where I come from, nigga is a bad word to use." There were hoots from students who had stopped to see what would happen.

"Ohh, he speaks." He said looking around the class. I wanted to leave there immediately, but I couldn't. He stepped up to me and in a menacing tone said; "Lookie here busta, I don't know where you come from, or who in the hell you think you are, I own this place and you better get that into your thick black skull." The last part was said with him pointing his finger at me skull, imitating a gun.

I should have left then, I should have carried my books and left, but I knew that he was a bully, and if I gave him an inch, he'd want a foot. So, I took a step forward, looking him in the eye even though he was taller than me then. "I don't want any trouble with you or any other person in this class." I said looking around the class to stress my point. I then turn to him, using the same assertive tone that always worked on mom and said; " ... But if you as much as look for my trouble, I will show you that where I come from, nobody messes with me."

I knew what I said had angered him for he was practically fuming. "Are you threatening me? I will make sure that your life is hell."