Rants, Tantrums, and Hissy Fits
Chapter 1

About my Rants

I guess this is as good a place as any to reproduce the ultra-boring rants that I've become known for in some small corners of the internet. I have no idea why, but some people actually enjoy them. There's just no accounting for taste. The important thing to remember is that they neither require nor desire any feedback. They're applicable only at the moment they're penned and most are usually obsolete by the time they're posted. I generally disagree with half of whatever I say ten minutes later and I reserve the right to change my mind on a whim, without reason or rationale.

Bottom line? It's all bullshit, but some of it's kinda funny when you're drunk.

Actually, this first page has a lot of good info on it, not much ranting at all ... I'll have to work on that.

So, you wanna be a writer...


Editors. People ask, "Why don't you get an editor?" or else they ask "Rachael, who is your editor?" What I'm looking for in an editor isn't necessarily what most editors want to do, so I do it myself mostly. Being schizophrenic comes in handy sometimes, believe me. Editing is a lot like masturbation, except it isn't as fun and makes a bigger mess. I edit as I go and proofread for grammar and spelling as I feel the compulsion. That is to say, I give the story or chapter a once over immediately before posting and then I read the story through once it's posted on the website. Amazing how errors jump off the screen once the story is out of my hands ... I hate that!

I write reasonably clean anyway though, so I should be grateful.

The illusion of debt. I see it in emails, in forums, in blogs, in ... everywhere. "Author's owe us this..." and "Author's owe us that..." I see a lot of complaints about slow/unfinished/abandoned stories and it's a hot topic, especially for readers who are emotionally invested in a story. I appreciate that as I'm sure most authors do. My own philosophy is that I have no debts to readers other than those I'm willing to make. I can't be "forced" into writing something just because a reader expects it of me. They can expect me to send them fifty dollars, it doesn't mean I'll do it, and time really is money ... But that's an oversimplification, I think.

I'm willing to entertain a debt in the sense that I'm obligating myself to finish something I start, if it can be finished. But that's a debt to myself and I'm one of those people who respond well to internal motivation and very poorly to external. Every time someone says I owe them something, I just bristle at that and I have to pause and reinterpret the statement into something internalized. I don't owe readers anything, but I try to align my own requirements so that we can all be satisfied.

Why am I bothering to say any of that? I dunno. I like the drama. Or more likely I want to make my excuses before I rant at someone. It's always better to plan rants well in advance and lay the groundwork early, believe me. Ranting is underrated as an art form and I really wish I had a collection of my finest rants. I think they'd score remarkably well given the environment and calendar.

And speaking of politics, nobody wonders but I'll tell you anyway. I'm an anarchist and truthfully, if a political party has a national convention? They're too far right for me. I don't really believe in elections and I'm pushing for a system of political selection based on a national lottery ... Mostly because it gives me one chance in a few hundred million of getting to fuck in the white house every night. Failing a lottery, picking a random name out of a phone book sounds pretty good too. That's why I keep my numbers listed!

What else? A top ten list!

Here's my top ten favorite stories (not written by me) and found on SOL ... Ummmm ... I'll get back to you on that.

I have to confess, and this is serious, that I've only read about a dozen porn stories in my whole life and four of those were flash. I just don't like to read porn. I'm reading "Charlotte's Movie" by Ken Randall and it seems pretty good so far. I read the prologue and the epilogue already. Like I told him the other day, one step at a time. So for you few people who wonder why I don't have any favorites listed, that's why.

I just am not into reading the stuff. I don't even reread mine, except to edit them a year or two later. It's not that the stories are bad, mine or anyone else's; it's a combination of things. I don't have time is number one. I absolutely cannot stress how little time I have to do anything like read or write just for fun. It's why I type as fast as I can when I can and spare little energy for the niceties like editing. I'm going to be kicking myself tomorrow for not writing Tina Vasquez (5) right now ... I should be working on that.

So, if you want to know what rache reads ... Very little. But I did read an awesome Jaoman story yesterday. Hmmm ... I forget the title. "Your Will" by Jaowriter ... Pure stroke! But he had to point it out and that's the way it is for almost everything I read. I can't go browsing, which pretty much sucks. I'd like to run a category search on pygmy cream pies some time. I have this idea of writing a story and taking codes literally, like writing a story with water sports and cream pie codes and have like two water polo teams throwing banana cream pies at each other after a big game...

I'm really tired!


I'm outraged!


Well, I'm not outraged, but some people are and at the risk of being overdramatic, I'll tell you why.

Reality vs Fiction isn't a fair fight at all.

For example, I get emails from people who aren't happy with where I've placed (or misplaced) the hymen in some of my stories. I've had people send me links to photographs of hymens. (Please note I rarely if ever click on any links in my emails ... I'd rather swap spit with the corpse of Rock Hudson) Now let me explain that when it comes to writing fiction I just don't care. That's the short answer. Well, the short answer is: "So what?" But you get my point. I will put a hymen wherever it happens to suit the story, my mood, and my sense of irony/humor. Don't bother complaining about it, just read something else if you don't like it. I'm not going to stalk you if you don't read my story. In fact, like those fictional hymens, I'm just not going to care.

Likewise, on a similar theme, the concerned readers who are outraged over the terrible pain and trauma of losing one's (female) virginity as it's occasionally expressed. So what? I introduce pain and trauma where and when necessary to advance the story. Let's face it, a LOT of readers who are interested in First Time stories want the drama. They want something memorable, and I'm not saying that the first time cannot be a beautiful, gentle, pleasurable experience for all concerned. It often is, more often than we find in erotic fiction certainly. I've portrayed that numerous times with no adverse side-effects other than a craving for chocolate. But if the story requires a bit (or a lot) of blood, sweat, and tears ... Guess what? It's gonna hurt, baby.

I'm not apologizing and I won't. But some of the emails ... It's really pathetic.

We all have our pet peeves and the little things that turn us off from a story for one reason or another. I remember getting an email once from a man who couldn't finish a story of mine because I used "shoreline" instead of "river bank" to describe a setting along the Hudson River. It put him right off the story and that was too bad and I understood my mistake thanks to him and corrected it. But the damage was done and I couldn't sleep for hours afterward.

Another reader, this was a good one, started reading "Letter of the Month" which is a complete and obvious parody, btw ... Anyway, he got to the narrator's 10" cock and was outraged! The whole story was a joke, but apparently he missed the punch line. Now I admit I can be a little too clever for my own good. I run some deep thoughts between the lines once in awhile, but generally I'm not half so smart as I pretend to be and most people see right through me. But that was about as obvious as I could get without buying some neon lights, you know?

Read with a purpose. Understand what you're looking at, that's pretty basic, I would think.

Recently I received an email from someone who read my little bestiality guide and really chastised me for not making it clear that the vagina is a rather flexible and amazing device that will in fact allow a fully swollen dog knot to be removed with little or no discomfort to the woman in question. Unfortunately for the reader I'm reasonably sure that I did make that clear in the post, but I understand not everyone can keep up ... especially if they didn't bother to read it. I just ask people, before you complain about something (especially if they're going to be rather snotty about it) to make sure you read what you're concerned about. I don't like embarrassing people because I know how it feels. I embarrass myself all the time and I hate it.

Some would say I'm embarrassing myself right now. Heh! Could be.

I'd also have to say that there is a disturbing lack of common courtesy prevalent in the online community. As some of you may know, I invariably attempt to respond to all emails with a reasonable amount of grace and good humor, but gosh! It is taxing sometimes. Do yourself a favor and practice good manners in correspondence. It offers so many more advantages than being impolite. It even makes you look smart! Correspondence is a lost art in America anyway; I much prefer foreign hate email. But Americans are the ones bent on sending it. Must be the gun culture.

Dogs. Let's go back to them for a second. It's almost impossible to find an accurate bestiality story on the internet. There's one out there, but it's well hidden beneath a really big rock. I myself quite enjoy the fact that fiction allows exaggeration, perfection, and an optimization of circumstances unlikely to be found in nature. I usually try to put a disclaimer in my bestiality stories saying it's written for entertainment only and not to be taken as a factual text or guide. Hopefully people understand that implicitly in a story like "Wishes Come True" ... You cannot read this and have puppies too, unless you're a really smart bitch!

Anyway, the important thing is that the reader must recognize (just as I must) that I'm not one of those authors intent on solely writing "reality based" fiction. I do it sometimes, but I have no rigid self-discipline in my adherence to the physics of the real world. It isn't why I'm writing. I'm lying, that's what fiction is, a really entertaining lie. If I'm lying well enough people will believe it for a few thousand words and come away from it happy to have been fooled. Fictional storytelling is telling a lie without malice ... Unless you're Lord Byron, but that's a whole other topic.

Any questions? And people wonder why I clean out my blog from time to time. I talk too much; always have, always will.


The obligatory note on scores and junk (1)


The long miscellaneous, obligatory blog note thing

Scores: I don't care so long as you score my stories with a clear conscience. I don't lose sleep over scores. If you want to spank me with a 1 be my guest. I've been here for awhile and I've been spanked before. If you want to cheer me up with a 10 that's fine too. Scores are largely driven by genre and story elements/themes and the merits of any given story are subjective in any event. Every reader has a different set of standards and being scored makes as much sense to me as entering my pet goldfish in a shaggy dog contest. There's a punchline in there someplace, but it isn't a very funny one.

Reviews: By all means, you reviewers out there, feel free to review any of my stories. It's always a fun little kick to get that little email "Your story ... has been reviewed" in my mailbox ... I'd review myself if it wouldn't make me seem like a total ass and I often do it anyway. I call those "Author's Notes" and usually don't include them on this site because nobody really cares how I write, only what I write.

Email: Anonymous email is turned on and I won't ever change that. I like email and it means more to me than scores do. I tend to judge the worth of any given story by the amount and quality of email it generates, not by what it scores. "Reasons Until After" is a good example of that. It scores amazingly low for how good it really is, but the amount of positive email was amazingly high. I took a lot of drive-by spankings on that story.

Pen Names: I have a few of them, but not nearly so many as most people assume. Kylie X. is my collection point for interracial stories. T.S.Severe is my folder for transgender stories. Jack Valentine will continue as my author of choice for pedophilia; and Evil Little Sister will be my evil little sister and post Lolita Femdom.

Why? Because I realized that once I reached a hundred stories under the rache pen name it became increasingly difficult to keep track of them, for one thing. Pen names are an organizational tool. It's also amusing to create a persona with a vested interest in the subject matter. Kylie is a very fun person to be while I write and her stories are very much her own. Some people will think I'm crazy, but perhaps some authors will know what I mean.

rache will ALWAYS get the bestiality stories and any story which I think is really good regardless of genre or theme. Again, to reference "Reasons Until After" I posted that as rache and not T.S.Severe largely because I wanted to assure the widest possible SOL audience for it. rache is on a lot more favorites lists than Severe is and that was my reasoning there.

continued next post...

The obligatory note on scores and junk (2)


Are we still going? Good...

Updates: My older stories were not well written as I was still learning the vagaries of the English language. Speaking it is much easier than writing it, let me assure you. A few of them are translations and I really am one of the world's worst translators when it comes to fiction. Technical documents are much, much easier, but who wants to read those? As time permits I will be returning to my older stories and editing them for grammar, spelling, and continuity. I'll inform readers of such updates as they occur via my blog.

Themes: I like to write about anything because that is the greatest advantage to writing fiction. Obviously I have my personal interests, but I do not exclude any theme or concept solely because it doesn't appeal to me. Quite the contrary, the less inclined I am to view a fetish favorably, the more excited I am to explore it. People should not mistake a narrator's enthusiasm or reluctance for the author's, in my stories or in anyone else's. Unfortunately, readers often do and I haven't found a way to discourage that as much as I would like.

I enjoy writing first person more than I enjoy third person. It allows me a greater appreciation for the experience that I'm trying to imagine and convey. Third person, for me, feels very much like cheating and I find it difficult to suspend belief when I read it. Writing third person is very easy. Too easy and I choose not to do it, although there are exceptions that I make for purposes of storytelling, such as the "Tina Vasquez" story I'm currently writing.

Present tense is a tool which I have used, but a difficult one and I think the concept escapes most people. There are far too many poorly written present tense stories out there and they give the rest of us a bad name. I've written articles on this before, so I'll stop now before I really get into "Writing in Theory and Practice" and put us all to sleep.

Avoid second person like the plague! I do and you should too. Unless you're a genuine masochist and even then...

Who am I really: All you have to know is that I'm a writer. I've been paid to do it, but I much prefer writing for free. That makes me a slut rather than a whore, a moody distinction, I agree, but relevant nonetheless. Seriously, amateur writing is a lot less work and I abhor deadlines and teleconferences. The nice to know stuff is that I'm a girl. I'm neither white nor black. I'm wealthy, well educated, and reasonably smart. I live in Asia, enjoy the perks of multiple citizenship, and work with my husband for a non-profit organization that I'm proud to be associated with. I also own three dogs, well ... one of them owns me, actually.

Now you can believe all of that or some of that, or even none of that. It doesn't matter in the least. It won't change what I write and it shouldn't change what you read. The important thing to remember is that like you, I'm a living, breathing person and deserving of your respect and courtesy. I'm here for the same reason you are, to be entertained. Sometimes we will share something which amuses us both; other times what I enjoy won't be to your taste and vice versa. We bear no obligations other than those of strangers in polite conversation and I honestly have no other expectations of you. What you expect of me is entirely your own affair.


Dialogue with an anonymous reader


An email I received:

So many of your stories say to visit your blog for more information about them.

It's really annoying when I DO visit your blog to discover that you've deleted or hidden those older posts.

In between the bipolar times when you create sixteen different new accounts to post from and the times you decide to remove your stories or stop writing, would it hurt you, just for a moment, to consider your readers?

Beyond a doubt, you've written some of the sickest, the worst, and even the hottest scenes I've ever read - different strokes and all that. But either there's several of you, or one of you with more issues then even your average purveyor of filth.

I'm ALL for venting yourself through writing. But all the drama you dump on your readers is extremely unnecessary.

If you want to post stories, post them like a normal story - can you imagine going to the library to get a book, only to find no organization? A three month old newsweek inbetween a vulgate bible and dante's divine comedy? No reader could read anything.

We readers click on your authors page to read your stories, not to deal with the drama, and not to sort through one 16+ "chapter" shitpile of unconnected stories in unconnected genres by disparate sockpuppets you've created to amuse yourself.

We may "just" be readers, but in this B2B transaction it's our job to read and proffer feedback and your job to write AND present the stories in a way we can follow and understand easily. Your unindexed pile of shorts is unfair to us, it's unfair to the stories and it's even unfair to you and the time and effort you've invested in them.

The drama is also unfair to the readers, and the blogpost culling is to me a complete mystery: Why bother to make them, only to delete or hide them, and why bother telling readers to search for posts they can no longer access?

Maybe you like causing people aggravation - your stories make it seem so, even when I enjoy one (or get sick over another), maybe posting stories is just a way for you to vent, but I have to think that with all the extra drama that comes along with your stories, you're increasingly venting to a smaller audience.

I'm writing this not because I have some hate-on for you, but because among your stories I have found some real gems that really get the blood flowing - when you write a story that creeps me out, you really creep me out. But you can also light my fire like almost no other writer can. And it pisses me off to no end that your constant dramas so often get in between me and one of those gems.

I've stopped reading TOny Steven's (I think that's right) Ballpark stories because for all the great writing he puts into the middle of a story, I've never seen a writer so bad at ending stories. I'm now having to give up on reading your stories because I'm not prepared to slog through the latest drama and unorganized mess.

Maybe, as an author, you think it's nice to be such a lightning rod of emotion. But, as a reader, I would think that first and foremost an author would want to have their stories READ.

I guess that's just me.

My reply...

Thank you for reading my stories and most especially for taking the time to email me. I appreciate it very much. I'm afraid I can't apologize for culling my blog. It's my blog and I got tired of looking at it. I like to talk anyway, so it's reasonably safe to assume I'll fill it back up in no time. Or maybe not, it's hard telling with me because I'm really not entirely stable by nature.

As to "Mixed Bag" it is what it is. I'm sorry you don't like the format and I certainly understand that neither you nor any reader can be expected to enjoy all of the stories. That really isn't the point of my little experiment. There's no real drama to it either, I must confess. Writing is much more my escape than it is the source of my discontent. As an escape, however, I do admit that it often suffers as a result.

At the moment there is a lot of stress in my life, which is neither here nor there, everyone gets stressed by school and family, I'm sure. I'm dealing with it as best I'm able and if some of my actions (and reactions) online seem strange or overly dramatic, I sincerely apologize and I can offer no other solution than that you should ignore me.

An email like yours, while potentially helpful and doubtless informative, does little more than push me into a corner. If I may be so bold, I'd suggest you go ahead and give me an email address to respond to next time. Just make one up and use it one time, you have no idea how deep the shadow of negativity is when reading an anonymous email like yours. It leaves me with only a single recourse to dialogue. This one.

Having said all that, allow me to close this letter with a sincere promise that I will make an effort to post something else today. A new Girl Fag chapter maybe, although following so hard upon the teaser ... It spoils the drama.

Best always,


(and her 16 pen names)

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Story tagged with:
True Story / FemaleDom / Humiliation / Sadistic / Caution /