A Taste of Betrayal... A Taste of Forgiveness
When she came home, I was asleep, having worked late the night before. I heard the back door slam and it woke me.
She came into the bedroom quickly. I really didn't notice what she was doing as I tried to get my wits about me. The bedside clock said 9 AM.
"You're home?" I asked dimly.
"The car died on the interstate on the way to work," she replied. "It wouldn't start, so I called the dealership and they sent a tow truck. They were so nice, and even gave me a loaner to drive while they find out what's wrong. Since I was so close, I thought I'd come home and get something I forgot, but now I've got to run to get to the office, I'm already so late." She waved and ran out the door.
I lay in the bed for a few minutes, thinking. Something was wrong. Something in her manner, something I couldn't put my finger on.
She had car trouble ... but didn't call me. She came home to get something ... was already late to work. No I love you, no kiss on the way out the door.
I'm detecting a disturbance in the force, young Skywalker.
I slowly walked into the living room, sitting down heavliy in my chair. Something was going on. What could it be? I knew I could find out ... but at what cost?
She had betrayed me once, in the early stages of our relationship. Just picked one day to move out without my knowledge, deciding she would leave and not tell me why ... but I happened to come home before she could get away. She told me it wasn't working, she wasn't getting what she needed, she wanted to be back with her kids, this was the best way, to just leave and get it over with.
A sneak thief caught in the act of betrayal.
She had done it once again after we reconciled. She left her computer on one night. She always shut it down, it was her habit ... but this night she left it on. I had just come in from my primary job, and was getting ready to go out to my part-time job. I sat down at my desk, and saw her IM screen was up. Her old dom had sent her a message. "Maybe you should just tell him to get lost," it said.
Betrayal! my heart screamed. I searched the IM history, and it was all there ... all her little digs, spilled out to man who once famously told her to get lost because she was late to a restaurant because she got lost. We had been back together less than three months, had been struggling with bills and family and kids and ... I, apparently, was not good enough, and she was running me down to all her friends.
I walked back up to the bedroom, and stood in the doorway, looking at her. Maybe something in the intensity of my stare woke her. She opened her eyes and started, seeing me standing there. She asked what was wrong.
"You have one chance," I said to her. "I read what you wrote to Michael and your other friends. You can either be mine, or I will go back home to Virginia and you can forget about us. I gave up everything I had to be with you, to move here. I struggled and persevered, and now ... working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week to get things caught up ... taking in your son so he could get into college ... making sure you are taken care of and loved ... you can even THINK about leaving me again? Because you want to be fucked and beaten more often than I can sometimes provide?"
"I am leaving now. If you want to be with me, be here when I get back. If not, leave. But if you ever disrespect me again like you have over the last two weeks, you wont have to make a choice. I will be gone the next day, and you can go straight to hell as far as I am concerned."
She stayed, and we later married ... and I collared her in a ceremony the same night as our wedding.
But she started getting unhappy again. She posted a collarme profile, saying she wanted to be a slut and more to the right dom. She didnt say anything to me about it. At first it mentioned me. Over time, that changed, too.
And now, this morning. The taste was there again. That bitter taste in my mouth.
The taste of betrayal.