Chapter 2

I could feel him softening and then he rolled off of me, but held me in his arms and kissed me. I was sore down there but I felt good inside, different than I had ever felt before.

"You are so beautiful and so sexy and you felt so good. I have wanted to do this since the first day I met you. You drive me wild inside." He continued to kiss me and run his fingers over my nipples. "I hope that I didn't hurt you too much. It always hurts a girl the first time."

I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to savor this time, my first time. He was playing with me again, playing with my clit. What is he doing? Is he going to do this again? He took my hand in his and placed it on him, around him. It was warm and soft and hard and still a little wet from me. As I held it in my hand, I could feel him getting harder. I squeezed him gently and instinctively pulled on him a little and he sprung to life. He rolled on top of me again and slid between my legs. I moved my knees to his shoulders and this time he slid into me with out trouble. It feels so big inside me, especially as he is pushing in the first time. It's like nothing is supposed to be in there that wide but then he hits my uterus and another feeling starts. Now I can feel him shift his weight again and then he starts to rub my clit with every push inside. He is pushing into me very slowly, and the contact with my clit is almost more than I can bear. I can hear myself moaning now, out loud, not whimpering, just moaning as he is setting my insides on fire again and then I am coming and the electricity is flying through my body and across my vision and he is still pumping into me and then he fires his stuff again and I can feel it clearly now, the heat of his passion, splashing around inside my vagina. My God that feels so good!

We lay, side by side, then for a long time, neither one of us saying anything. It was not long until I hear someone calling our names, as if they were searching for us. Almost panicked, I quickly pulled on my bikini and reached for my bra which ironically was under Brandon. He just managed to pull on his suit as a bunch of our fellow party-goers came over the little hill.

"There you are. We wondered where you two had gone off to."

"It's a nice spot, here. Really kind of private yet close to everything," Brandon replied.

We walked back to the campfire and stood for just a moment in the firelight. Chloe was standing somewhat across from me, almost opposite me. The firelight was sufficient for everyone to see clearly. "Maddy, " she called over to me. "You are leaking. Maybe you should go into the water again and wash out."

I looked at her questioningly, and then she pointed to her thigh, and I looked at mine. I could see a long drip of Brandon's semen slowly sliding down my leg. I had not given any thought as to what happens to his semen once it is inside me, and certainly no one had ever addressed that issue for me before this.

Chloe walked over to me. "No need to be embarrassed. It has happened to all of us here. Just go in the lake, drop your suit and try to flush out as much as you can. Otherwise it's going to drip all night, and you may not be in a place where you want that to be seen. Here we don't care. Every girl up here goes through this, but at home or in a restaurant, well ... you understand. Just go in the lake and flush out."

But I was embarrassed. I was the only one doing this, in full view of everyone. Now everybody here knew what we had done. I walked out into the lake, turned my back to the shore, pushed down my bikini and started flushing myself with lake water. Before I had finished, two other girls had joined me in the lake and were doing the same thing. As soon as I felt reasonably sure that all of his stuff was out of me, I redressed and hurried back to shore to rejoin him and the others.

We were sitting around the campfire, drinking a wine cooler again, when one of the guys asked, "How many girls became women tonight? Raise your hand if you became a woman tonight."

What was he asking? Was he asking how many girls lost their virginity tonight? Was there more than me, I wondered.

"Go ahead, raise your hand," Brandon said.

Slowly I raised my hand.

"All right. Way to go Maddy. That's one. Now who else?"

Becky followed my hand up, and then a girl named Suzanne, whom I barely knew, did also.

"All right. Good for you girls, Becky and Suzanne as well. It's nice to have you as the newest members of our beach party group and we all hope you will make attending a regular habit."

He was looking straight at Becky when he asked, in general, how it felt to become a woman. I am sure Becky thought he was asking her specifically because she answered almost immediately, "It hurt a lot, the first time. He's really big, and I'm really small."

Of course the other guys couldn't let that pass. One of them said, "Actually Becky, he's not very big at all, that's why we call him Needle. You must be really tiny." Everybody laughed except Becky, who blushed like crazy. "How old are you girls?"

Becky and I each replied fourteen, the other girl, Suzanne, said she was sixteen.

"Brandon, you keep pushing the age limit on these girls. One of these days, you're going to get busted big time."

I immediately felt a cold chill run down through my body. What did he mean that Brandon keeps pushing the limit? Has he had other girls out here? How many girls has he slept with? A million thoughts were running through my brain, and none of them made me very happy. Had I just given my virginity to a boy that makes a habit of taking them from young girls? Was this night meaningful at all to him? I wanted to ask him what it all meant, but he was involved in a conversation with several others and I was pretty certain that I didn't want to interrupt him to ask these questions. I saw several couples slip away from the group and return to their apparent love nests in the dark. Soon the sounds of passion could be heard in the darkness. I was no longer in the mood for sex, with anyone. I just wanted to go home. We could talk about things another night. Finally Brandon ended his exclusionary conversation and acknowledged my presence beside him. He asked me if I would like to return to the blanket, but I declined, answering that I just wanted to go home.

Sunday morning came much too early for me. I made my way to my bathroom and immediately ran a tub full of warm water. As I allowed my body to slip into the water, I realized just how very sore I was between my legs. Gently, very gently, I ran my hand down and first touched my clitoris. I winced from its tenderness and moved my hand away quickly. With bravery, I lightly traced my labial lips and could neither feel nor see any tears or scratches, but the tenderness that they exhibited was almost frightening to me. When I finally touched the opening to my vagina, tears came to my eyes. I hurt a lot, everywhere!

I soaked for as long as the water stayed warm and then bravely stood and reached for my towel. When I touched my breasts, I winced from the pain. I saw that I had large black and blue marks around the nipples and recalled vaguely that Brandon had sucked and pulled on them roughly. Very gingerly I put on my bra and panties and then slipped on some jeans and a top. I found that it even hurt to walk. How am I going to move around today without everybody asking me why I am walking funny? As I started out the door of my bedroom, my phone rang. Grateful for the delay, I settled into my chair and answered it. Caller ID told me that it was Becky.

"Are you sore?"

"You can't believe it. I can hardly walk. What about you?"

"I'm not only sore down there, but he really hurt my boobs. They're all black and blue. It even hurt me to dry them after my shower."

"Do you suppose it always hurts this much?"

"Becky, it can't. Nobody would do it."

"Well, the guys would. They don't hurt this morning."

"That's probably true. But I really think it was because it was our first time. At least I am hoping it was."

"Are you gonna tell your mom?"

"Are you nuts? No, I am not going to tell her! If I did, I wouldn't be able to date until I'm thirty."

"Maddy, I am really, really sore. I hope he didn't hurt anything."

"You're not bleeding are you?"

"No, I didn't bleed much, even last night. I'm just sore."

"Then I think it's just that our muscles got stretched really badly."

"Why don't you come over later?"

"Okay. See ya."

Luckily, I was able to slip down to breakfast without Mom seeing how crazy I was walking. I knew if she saw me she would ask, and I wouldn't know what to tell her. I went outside and moved to lounge chairs into position so that we could both just enjoy the warmth without cooking. Becky arrived about ten minutes later. Neither one of us said anything for a long time. It was like we were both sitting there commiserating to ourselves about how sore we were.

Finally she looked around to be sure that we were alone. "I can't believe we did that, Maddy. I can't believe we both did that at the very first high school event that we got to attend that wasn't at the school. We'll never be allowed to date. What kind of reputation will we have now?"

"Yeah, I know what you are saying. But that's not what bothers me most. What upsets me is the comment that they made about Brandon always choosing young ones. How many others has he done that with? Didn't it mean anything to him?"

"I have a feeling Maddy, that we are both dreaming if we think it will ever mean anything to a boy. I know that's really sad to say, but I think it's true. These guys are not going to be in love with us! They are only in love with the idea of having sex with a girl--any girl who is willing."

It was a long time before I replied or before she said anything else. It was a disturbing thought, but I sensed she was correct. I didn't want it to be, certainly, but the longer I thought about it, the more I thought she was right. "So, what do we do about it? I mean, are we going to refuse all boys from now on? From what Chloe says, that may doom us to never having a boyfriend? Are we going to be selective, and if so, how do we choose? I mean, it's not love, so it's just raw sex. How do we decide who we do it with? Or do we do it with almost anybody who asks?"

Once again there was a long period of silence. I mean, I've had algebra problems that were easier to answer than this! I didn't want to be thought of as being easy, and I didn't want to be stuck in my house forever either. As of last night, at least eleven other people knew I was no longer a virgin, and I knew it wouldn't take long for that word to spread through the boys in our school. It wasn't like I could pretend that it hadn't happened. What if Brandon asks me out again? What do I do then?

Becky began again. "I don't think we should sleep with just anybody. There has to be some standard. But we can't fool ourselves that it is love because we both know it isn't. I don't know how we decide on the guy, but I know there have to be some ground rules. Like, it has to be private, not in front of others. And he has to use protection. I don't want to get pregnant."

I screamed out loud. That hadn't even crossed my mind. What if I got pregnant last night? Is that why Becky didn't have to go back into the lake to clean out? "Oh, Becky. I let him come inside me last night, twice! What if I get pregnant?"

"Oh, man. How could you do that? I made Cody wear a rubber both times."

"I don't know where my head was, I guess, but it wasn't there, for sure. I am going to be terrified for a month now."