Chapter 3

I played with Seely all evening. When she went to bed, Rita went to her quarters and Pam and I continued our conversation that had been interrupted. "Tony, let me ask you, what have you got out of our marriage? I mean, are you glad you married me nine years ago?"

"Yes I am. I'll admit it could have been better at times, especially lately. Overall I am glad I met and married you. The best thing is you gave me Seely. Our life together hasn't turned out to be like the one my parents had. That was too much to expect and I have been sorrowfully disappointed at times. I suppose if my work hadn't taken me away so much, we would have stayed closer to each other.

"It was my mistake to allow you to take a lover. I wouldn't do that again if I had it to do over. That was when we were younger and now that we are older I will expect you to be mine and mine only. Seely will soon be aware of people and their relationships. You chose a path, but it is now time to make a change.

"I want my daughter to have the same values that I have, but haven't displayed the way I should. I think John has those same values, and maybe even stronger ones. If you choose him, you will be watched closer than I have watched you. Then again he will be with you more than I have been because of my work, and maybe that is what you need.

"I will always be your friend, no matter what you decide. That part of our life won't change and I know we will bring up Seely to be a credit to both of us." I had the feeling that what I had said today was going to influence Pam in some way, and it was her decision and hers only. The evening ended with us still each in our separate beds.

I lay in bed thinking over all the things I had said to my wife. I had given her the choice of whether to choose me or John. Suddenly, the thought crossed my mind that I should have made the break and stated I wanted the divorce. No one would fault me. The way my wife treated me, I certainly had just cause. Well, we would see how it went when Seely went back to school at summer's end. There were some nice women that worked for the same company as I did. I could choose one of them--or--there was always Rita!

Summer was winding down. I began to wish that I hadn't given Pam a whole month to decide. Seely was going to have to go back to school and as much as I hated it, I knew that she would have to stay with her mother. That meant traveling to see her on weekends even if we stayed together. I liked my new employers and I liked being close to Mom. Mom treated me more like a brother than a son. I was always kidding her that she needed to find a man to make love to her and I always was reminded of the fact that my love life wasn't any better than hers. I had the feeling that somewhere, sometime, Mom was going to find someone she could enjoy life with.

Wednesday afternoon I called Pam and said that the company was having an awards benefit. It was a week from this Saturday and everyone was expected to attend with their spouse or boy/girlfriend as the case may be. Pam was very noncommittal, just saying that I would be accompanied. I saw why when the mail arrived at my desk Thursday afternoon. There were two letters, one of them an overnight, the other a two-day. I opened the two-day and found that it contained divorce papers. The other one just stated that Pam would have a suitable date on my arm to attend the awards. She also begged that I meet her a week from Sunday to explain her decision to Seely.

Pam made it clear that she had made up her mind. Okay, so now I knew. I decided I needed the rest of the day off and tomorrow too. I headed home to tell my Mom about it. She was supportive, of course. I said I thought I would head to my old home town and get a lawyer. I wasn't going near Pam so I would get myself a motel room.

I booked in and headed down the block to find a nice dining place. I lingered over my meal and then decided I could stand a drink. I found a pretty upscale lounge and parked myself on a stool at the bar. I guess I was on my third drink when I realized someone was behind me. I looked in the mirror over the bar and saw John Bordon with a couple of businessmen standing there.

"Tony O'Rourk, is that you? What are you doing here?"

"Finding myself a lawyer."

"Hey fellas. I'm going to be talking with Tony a few minutes. I'll see you at the next meeting." He slid onto the seat next to me.

John suggested we get a booth. When we sat down I said, "The loser always buys the drinks for the winner. What are you having?" The waitress brought that round and then the next and then when she wouldn't serve us anymore she called a cab for us. John was practically falling down and I couldn't remember what motel I was booked into. The cabby was getting impatient so I said, "What the hell, take me home," and I gave him my old home address.

I was leaning on both the doorbell and the door when Pam opened it and we fell in. John was totally blitzed and never stirred. I looked up from the floor and poked John. "Hey buddy, our love has arrived."

"What in hell are you doing here Tony? How come John is with you?"

"I think I am here to get a lawyer to save my daughter from the big bad witch."

Rita roused me at daylight. "You better get cleaned up before Pam sees you. She cried most all night, she is so mad about you and John. I've got coffee and a hangover remedy for both of you. Also in the downstairs bath there is a razor and comb. You better use it." Even hung over as I was I could see a smile hidden behind Rita's face. I smiled back.

Pam came into the kitchen breathing fire. "Okay, what the hell is this all about? I thought you were working. I take it you got the papers I sent you. What are you doing here? I didn't think I was going to see you until a week from Sunday."

"Damn it Pam, you aren't the only one with an agenda here. I came into town to get a lawyer. John and I met accidentally and had a few drinks. Too many as it appears. I'm not happy with the way you and your papers reached me. I talked to you Wednesday on the phone. Why didn't you tell me that you had mailed the papers already?

"Another thing, you promised someone will go with me to the awards dinner. Who would that be? You going to hire someone from an escort service? You are still my wife and I expect you to be with me, as long as we are still married."

John spoke, "This is pretty embarrassing for me. I think you better call me a cab so I can leave and you can settle this in private."

"Nah, John, stick around. Pam is about ready to apologize and so am I. Since you are an interested party, you might wait for us to finish this and then we'll have breakfast."

"You're right Tony, I haven't played too fair with you. It is just that I feel so guilty leaving you for another man. I should respect you more than I have. We might as well settle another thing right now as long as we are all here. Who am I going to be faithful to now that you have the papers? I want to be faithful to John, but you still have the right to demand that I be faithful to you. I'm not saying that John and I are going to have sex. I'm just saying I don't want to go to bed with you anymore."

"Okay, I can understand that. That part of our life together is over. I don't care what you do or don't do with John. What about this affair I have to go to? I really need someone and I can't very well take my mother."

"I asked Rita to go in my place. I have even purchased a gown for her to wear. She really is lovely. Would she be an acceptable date?"

"She's your employee. You didn't pressure her did you?"

"No, when I said I didn't want to go she suggested she be my replacement."

"Actually I am honored to have her appear with me. Thank you for getting her a gown."

"Let's have breakfast and then I will see if I can remember where my motel is. As long as you know I am in town, can I move my things here until I leave?"

"It's still your home. I don't want you to feel you can't come here anytime. While you are here we might as well get the telling of our divorce to Seely out of the way. She is at a friend's house for a two night sleep-over. I will call her and see if she wants to come back today or wait until tomorrow. We can tell her then. I'm not looking forward to telling her."

"I'm not either. Let's have Rita handy to console her if it gets too bad."

John made the comment that Pam and I settled our differences in a pretty calm manner. I explained that first of all we were friends. After being married so long we pretty much knew when one of us did something wrong. We would talk it out and then apologize. Looking back I said I never was that deeply in love with Pam and that was why our life together had survived as long as it had. I was sure she would tell him the same thing someday.

"Besides, in my drunken state last night, I remember telling you she had told me that when she was near you, she just wanted to fall into your arms. I knew she wouldn't make a scene."

It started out a little rough when we sat Seely down for our talk. Pam pretty much left what to say up to me. I knew she would, so I was as prepared as I could be. I told her that a father and mother had joint custody over their kids. Her mother and I didn't see why we couldn't continue even though we were not together anymore. Pam and I were still friends and would continue to be.

"I then asked her what she thought of John Bordon. I just said that Pam liked him a lot and I liked him too. Someday your mother might want to live with him. That is up to her. I may find someone to love too. We are committed to making sure you are happy, so even if we live with someone else, we will always think of you."

Seely asked, "What about Rita? I want her to be with me always."

I left this one up to Pam. "Rita will be with you until you are at least fourteen. I have her promise and I am paying her to stay by your side that long. Even if she gets married someday, she will still have a job working for me. She has agreed to this, because she is thinking of you too. Is that okay?"

"I guess."

"Things won't be any different than they have been this summer, and you have been happy haven't you?"

"You are sure you won't stop loving me like you did before Mom?"

"I loved you before, I just didn't show it."

When I talked with my lawyer, I just said that Pam and I wanted to get the divorce over with as soon as possible. Therefore he was to meet with her lawyer and move things forward quickly. I couldn't think of anything to hold us up in court. We wanted and had agreed on joint custody of Seely. Both of us were well satisfied with each of us retaining our individual assets. I admitted that Pam was worth considerably more than I was, but the bulk of it had come to her through inheritance so I wasn't looking to claim any of that. Pam wanted the house. There was no mortgage so after a fair appraisal she would buy me out.

It was up to Pam's attorney to arrange with the court a date to appear before it since she was the one that had filed first. Actually I didn't even have to appear. The meeting ended with my lawyer telling me he would keep me informed and when there were papers that needed my signature, he would get them to me promptly.

Rita prepared a late lunch for me just before I headed home. She promised to be at Mom's house early in the afternoon next Saturday to get ready for the awards dinner. "This is going to be like a first date, isn't it? Will there be dancing after dinner? I hope so. I used to be quite good at Fiesta time."

"You'll probably be a lot better than me, but maybe I can steer you around the floor for a slow waltz." (Actually I was an accomplished dancer. Pam had made me learn when I embarrassed her the first time we went dancing.) Driving home I thought how I had lived in the same house with Rita for three years and never had the urge to get close to her. Now, all I could think of was what it was going to feel like when I held her in my arms.

Monday morning I explained to the head of the firm why I had asked for last Friday off. I said my wife had sued for divorce, but I didn't think I would need any more time as it was going to be amicable. He said if I did need time off, just ask. Then he wondered if I was going to have someone with me at the awards. I assured him I had a female friend that would be with me. My soon-to-be ex had promoted this friend when I said I definitely needed someone. He thought that was nice of her.

I made the comment to Mom that I hoped I was handsome enough for Rita. Mom said I might not have the features of a movie star, but once anyone looked at me, they would see the character my face displayed. That counts with most women. Good old Mom, she knew how to make a person feel good.

Rita appeared at our door early Saturday afternoon. She was wearing her hair covered, telling Mom that she would need some help in combing it out and putting in the pins her hairdresser had provided. She had on jeans and a tee shirt. I had never seen her in anything that hugged her body like this before. I just knew she was going to be the most beautiful woman at the dinner tonight.

We were a handsome couple when we entered the lounge where the socializing was taking place. I wore a tuxedo and Pam had outdone herself in choosing the gown that Rita was wearing. It was a black, lacy cocktail gown that set off her figure. No skin showed anywhere as she wore net arm length gloves and the collar came to just under her ears. I had pinned a corsage on her. A bright red rose, surrounded by orchids, rested just above her left breast. A cluster of three orchids pinned to a band over her head adorned her hair. The effect was electrifying.

When I presented Rita to our host, the head of the firm, he said to his wife, "This is our newest employee and his date for the night, Tony O'Rourk and Rita Morales."

"You are lovely, dear. Do enjoy yourself tonight."

We started mixing with my co-workers. This was a large firm and I hadn't met many of those employed here yet. We had many offices in other countries and those representatives were here for the dinner. Suddenly a man came rushing up to us exclaiming, "Rita Morales, is that you?"

"Hi Raoul. I haven't seen you in years. I didn't even know where you lived." Rita turned to me in explanation. "Tony, this is a cousin of mine. We grew up together."

Raoul introduced his wife and we made plans to sit at the same table so he and Rita could talk family. He whispered to me. "I was madly in love with Rita and I was the one that got to kiss her on her sixteenth birthday."

Rita overheard this exchange. "Tell him the rest of it, Raoul."

"Well, I guess I got my face slapped pretty hard."

"And then?"

"Then she came and said she was sorry and let me truly kiss her."

I looked at Raoul and said, "I envy you the experience." Rita flashed her eyes at me and smiled.

Dinner was long and the speeches that went with the awards were too. Finally the dancing started. I didn't think I was going to ever get to hold Rita. Raoul asked the live band at one point to play a set of ethnic Mexican dances. I sat with Raoul's wife through the first dance and let Rita and her cousin show off. I asked Nita, his wife, "Do you dance these too?"