One Man's Fantasy
Caution: This Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Heterosexual, Cheating,
Desc: Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Just a fantasy.
Everyone has fantasies. Some are sexual, some are financial and some are about fame. One guy's fantasy might be to be the quarterback that leads his team into the Super Bowl and another guy's might be to be to pitch the only really perfect game — 27 batters and 27 strike outs — in the World Series. I used to work with a guy whose fantasy was to find a lamp at an antique store, rub it and have a genie appear so he could wish for a ten inch dick. And of course everyone fantasizes about what they would do if they hit the 217 million dollar Power Ball lottery.
My fantasy was to be stranded on a deserted island with porn star Kristal Summers or be walking down a street and have a car pull over and a voice call out "Hey you!" I turn and see Kristal looking out the window smiling as she says "I want you to be in my next video." Or a knock on my door some night and when I answer it I find Kristal standing there. "My car broke down in front of your place. Can you help me?" Or ... oh well, you get the idea.
I found her one night while I was surfing porn sites on the Net and one look at that face and she had me. I have downloaded 11 videos of her and I am constantly looking for more. I spend more time on the computer than is good for me, but I don't have anything else to do. No, that isn't really true. There is a lot I could get out and do, but I have lost the desire to do any of it. If I left my computer and ventured out I would run into friends and friends being what they are they would try and cheer me up. Tel me that it was probably for the best and some would try to play matchmaker and fix me up with "this girl who is absolutely perfect for you."
And that is what I am afraid of. Another girl who is perfect for me. I've already had two girls who were "absolutely perfect for me" and between the two of them they managed to rip my heart out.
The first one was Annalise. A five foot two inch blond bombshell. At 36x23x34 she was a walking wet dream who stunned the hell out of me when she walked up to me at a party and said:
"The idiot who brought me to this party is a real drag. How about you take me out of here and we go find some place where we can have a few drinks, dance a little and get to know each other."
I might have been a little tongue-tied, but I wasn't stupid and I offered her my arm and we left the party, We went to the Starlight Lounge and drank, danced and talked and I found out that she was 24, a legal secretary, lived alone in an apartment on Sudsbury Avenue and that her favorite color was blue. She had no hometown loyalties; her favorite football team was the Cowboys, favorite baseball team was the Bluejays, the Red Wings were her hockey team and she had absolutely no interest in basketball.
"Those ugly tattoos they cover themselves with are absolutely disgusting."
She liked opera, ballet, classical music, bluegrass and hated 'rap' music. I wanted o ask her why she picked me, but I was afraid to. She might have said:
"I don't know, but now that we are here I don't think that it was such a good idea."
No sir! I didn't know why she picked me, but I was going to ride with it as far as it would go. I drove her home, asked for a date and she said yes. Three months later we were living together and a month after she moved in I proposed. The seven months we lived together before the wedding were glorious. Annalise was a good cook, fun to be with and a tiger in the bedroom.
The week before the wedding I had a bachelor party and her girlfriends took her out for a bachelorette party. Mine was predictable. Some drinking, some card playing and about eleven o'clock a stripper arrived. She was fairly good looking and her dance and the lap dance that followed were okay, but didn't do a thing for me. Why would it? I had 'sex bomb' Annalise at home. I was asleep when Annalise got home and she was dead to the world when I got up to go to work in the morning.
Two days later I received an envelope in the mail at work and when I opened it I found five things. A note that said "Are you sure that you want to marry this?" and four photos of Annalise being enjoyed sexually by at least six different men. In one picture she had a cock in her mouth, ass and pussy and in another she had her hand — left one with engagement ring showing — guiding a large cock into her mouth.
I took a personal day and left work and when Annalise got home from work that evening she found everything of hers boxed, bagged and waiting for her outside the front door. She still had a key though and when she came in I was sitting at the kitchen table sipping a beer and working a crossword puzzle. She didn't bother with a "Hi Honey" just asked me why her stuff was outside. I slid the envelope across the table to her and she opened it and looked at the contents and then at me.
"This doesn't mean anything honey. It was a last fling before I settled down into marriage. It has nothing to do with my love for you. It was just something that I wanted to try while I still could. There was no way that I would ever do it once I was married so I cut loose while I was still single. It is nothing baby. Just a last hoorah before I take myself off the market."
"It might mean nothing to you Annalise, but someone who was at your orgy with you hates you enough to send me these pictures. That means they hate you enough to send them to God knows who. I will not go through the rest of my life having people look at me and say "There goes that poor sucker who married that slut who does gangbangs." I will not go through life watching guys who have seen those photos try and get you to sneak off with them and most of all I will not go through life wondering if and when you might do it again."
"I would never do it again. I love you baby and I know you love me."
"You're right Annalise, I did love you and I probably will for a long time after you are gone, but I can tell from the expression on your face in these pictures how much you are loving it and I'll never be able to believe you won't want to do it again and I will not go through life waiting for that shoe to drop."
"I'm the best thing to ever happen to you Robert and you are going to throw me away over nothing?"
"I've already said it Annalise; it might mean nothing to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me. I'm sorry Annalise, but after seeing these pictures and seeing how much you seem to be enjoying it I'll never be able to trust you not to do it again and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend my time checking up on you every time you have an unexplained absence or go out for a night out with the girls. We are history Annalise. Please go so I can start crying in my beer."
"Please Rob, don't make me go. I love you."
She stared at me for several seconds and then she turned and left. I heard later that she quit her job and moved out of town.
I sulked for about six weeks and then friends being what they are they began trying to cheer me up and the matchmaking began. I was introduced to some very nice and very lovely ladies and while I enjoyed the company of some and the beds of a few I never met one that had that 'spark' jump between us.
I went to a barbecue given by John and Marie Cochran and when I got there it 'just so happened' that there was a woman who had come alone and would I take her under my wing and see that she met everyone? She was a good looking lady and pleasant company, but while I might date her a time or two there was never going to be anything special and we both knew it. She had ridden to the party with a friend who had since left and I was asked to give her a ride home. I saw the hand of John and Marie in the whole set-up, but by then I was used to my friends trying to fix me up.
I drove Sue home and walked her to her door. I was surprised when she rang the bell and she told me that she had walked off and left her keys on the kitchen table.
"It's okay though. My roommate's car is in the parking lot so I know she is home and can let me in."
The door opened and I found myself looking into the eyes of Sue's roommate and my knees went weak. I've mentioned the lack of a 'spark' between me and some of the others my friends had fixed me up with, but there was a definite spark that jumped between Sue's roommate and me. I have no idea what the expression on my face looked like, but Sue looked from me to her roommate and then back at me and then said:
"Joan, this is Rob. Rob, this is my roommate Joan and I'll just get out of the way and leave you two alone."
To shorten the story I asked Joan out, she said yes and several months later I proposed and she said yes again.
Six years of what I thought was a perfect marriage came crashing down the day I came home from work early. They had shut the office down because of a gas leak scare in the building and had sent everybody home. Joan's car was I the drive which I thought was odd since she didn't get off work until five. I knew as soon as I walked in the door what was going on. How could I not? The "Fuck me, oh God yes fuck me" was loud enough to be heard two blocks away. I walked up to the bedroom and saw a naked Joan with her legs up on the shoulders of Jake Winters who was Joan's supervisor at work. He was driving his cock into Joan and her hands were on his ass pulling him to her. Her eyes were closed and she was moaning "Fuck mefuckmefuckme.'
My first instinct was to go in the room, pull him off Joan and stomp his balls into mush, but then I remembered what had happened to a guy I bowled with. He caught his wife on his bed with her lover and he ended up in jail charged assault. Since his wife had invited the man into the house and it was her house also the man had every right to be in the house and my bowling buddy had no right to physically assault the man regardless of where in the house he had found him.
I didn't want jail in my future so I hurried downstairs and got the digital camera and the video camera and tri-pod. I quietly went back upstairs and set up the video camera in the hallway and focused it on the action on the bed. Then I went into the room. I got eight shots before they noticed me and then there was the mad scramble to separate. Jake was married and he knew he would be in deep shit if the pictures I'd taken ever got to his wife so he came after me to get the camera. He was so intent on getting the camera that he neglected to keep the family jewels protected and I drop kicked his nuts up into his throat. Then I kicked him a couple of times in the stones (if nine can be considered a 'couple') to make sure he stayed down. I grabbed him by the feet and drug him downstairs and out the front door. I left him lying on the lawn and then I went back into the house and called 911.
I went back to the bedroom to confront Joan, but she as in the shower. I was sitting on the bed ignoring the doorbell, the knocks on the front door and the flashing red and blue lights coming through the bedroom window when Joan came into the room.
She looked at me, took a deep breath and said, "Sorry you had to see that."
"So am I. You mind telling me why?"
"Curiosity finally got the best of me."
"Care to explain that?"
"Let me get dressed first. You probably should go down and answer the door."
I opened the door to find two cops standing there and they wanted to know what happened and told them. They said I needed to go down to the station with them and I told them I be down a little later on, but at that moment I had some personal problems that I needed to address. One of them said"
"I'm afraid I must insist that you accompany us now."
"Insist away" I said, "I'll be there when I get there" and I closed the door in their faces and threw the deadbolt.
I went to the phone and called my boss, told him what had happened and asked if he could recommend a good lawyer and he gave me a name and a number. I called the guy, gave him the story and told him I would be going down to the station after I talked with my wife. He told me to call him just before I left the house and he would meet me at the station.
I went back to the bedroom and Joan was dressed and was packing a bag. "Okay" I said, "You're dressed. Do I get my explanation?"
"I told you. I was curious."
"His cock and how it would feel."
"You were curious about his cock?"
"For the last couple of years Jake has been trying to get in my pants and I've always kept him at arms length. The girls in the office who had given in to him all gave him rave reviews. They said he had a huge cock and really knew how to use it and that I was missing the chance of a lifetime if I didn't give him a shot. Finally curiosity got the best of me and I had to see for myself."
"From the sounds I heard when I walked in the front door it is obvious to me that you found the stories to be true."
"I'm sorry Rob, but it was the most amazing sexual experience of my life. His cock is just short of eleven inches and he touched me in places that I didn't even know I had."
"The most amazing sex of your life? You had to tell me that? Now I get to live the rest of my life knowing that I can't get the job done. Thanks a lot."
"I didn't mean it that way honey. You always have gotten the job done. Jake was just different. It was all about cock size and what bigger would be like."
"How long has it been going on?"
"Today was the first time."
"And if I hadn't walked in on you I'd have been getting sloppy seconds for the rest of my life and would have never known."
"No you wouldn't. A little while longer for sure, but not the rest of your life. Jake usually only stays with one girl for three weeks or so and then he moves on to someone else."
"Then what? You go looking for your next big cock so you can have more amazing sexual experiences?"
"No I would not have. Jake satisfied my curiosity and after he moved on I would have gone back to being a faithful wife. I love you honey and I never expected you to find out. The last thing in the world that I wanted to happen was to lose your love. I thought I could have my little fling, satisfy my curiosity and then life would go back to normal and you would never have known."
"Well Joan, I hope it was worth your marriage because that is what it cost you."
"Of course it wasn't worth my marriage Rob, but I can't undo what I have done. Water under the bridge I guess. Unless there is a chance you might be able to overlook my little mistake?"
"Sorry Joan. No way I could live with you and not remember what I saw on that bed every time I walked into this room."
"I'll be back this weekend to get the rest of my things." She picked up the suitcase and headed out of the room. She stopped at the doorway and turned. "I love you Rob; I really do and I'm sorry for this."
I heard her car start up and I went to the window and watched her drive away.
I went to the phone, called the lawyer, described myself to him and told him I was heading for the police station. As I turned the corner at the end of the block my rear view mirror showed four cop cars coming down the street and pulling up in front of the house. A bunch of cops spilled out and moved toward the house, some moving around to the back. I guess it must have upset them when I declined their invitation and closed the door in their faces.
I met Marvin Fastner in the parking lot at the police station and handed him the video camera and told him what was on it. He vied the tape on the small viewing screen and smiled. I told him about the four cop cars at the house, but he didn't seem concerned.
The police were not happy with me. I kept my mouth shut and let Marvin handle it.
"My client' actions are totally understandable. Had he not remained in the house his wife could have used his absence to remove valuable property. In fact she could have stripped the place bare. The officers did not arrest my client; they merely asked that he accompany them to the station and he was within his rights to decline their invitation."
The next item was what I had done to Mr. Winters. According to the police I had no right to do what I had done. It was a civil matter and should have been pursued through the courts. I had no right to physically attack Mr. Winters and I was going to be charged with assault and battery. Then Marvin played the video that showed Mr. Winters coming after me.
"My client was well within his rights to defend himself."
Then the cops brought up the fact, backed up by my own tape — that I had used excessive force after putting Mr. Winters down. At that point I spoke for the first time since entering the station.
"Get real here. Winters is six foot three and maybe two hundred and thirty pounds. I'm five ten and a hundred and seventy and only an idiot would take the chance of letting Winters get up and come after him. It was sheer assed good luck that I was able to put him down in the first place. Giving him a chance to get back at me would have been criminally stupid."
Then Marvin said, "If the government wants to waste its money taking this to trial we wouldn't mind at all giving a judge and jury a chance to have their say in the matter."
The matter was allowed to die quietly as far as the police were concerned.
The matter didn't die quietly as far as the other participants were concerned. Following Marvin's advice I sued Winters for alienation of affections; I sued his employer for not enforcing the provisions in their company policy and procedures manual about relationships between supervisors and subordinates thus allowing Winters to have his way sexually with his female staff. My pictures found their way to Jake's wife and when the dust settled Jake and Joan were unemployed, Jake was divorced and after Marvin took his cut I was $212,609.42 richer and with an ex-wife.
The downside was that I did not trust women anymore so I stayed away from them. I was still needing sexual relief and the Net and my right hand took care of that need. It was while I was taking care of that need that I found Kristal Summers. For the next two or three months I played and replayed all of the downloads I'd made of her videos. Some of the sites not only had videos, but picture galleries and I printed off pictures of her and papered the walls of my den with them. And I fantasized and fantasized and fantasized.
One day as I was watching one of her videos I was watching some guy fuck Kristal and I thought "There is one lucky son of a bitch. He is actually getting paid to have sex with that Goddess." She was getting paid to have sex with him. She was getting paid to have sex with every man she had sex with in every film she made. I had over two hundred grand sitting in the bank so why didn't I use some of that money to see if I could get her to have sex with me? I would have to put some thought into it. I couldn't just go to her and say "How much to let me make love to you" because that would be illegal. It would be 'solicitation' on my part and if she said yes it would be prostitution on her part. I had to stay away from that.
Maybe if I offered to pay to be the leading man in her next video? Might work, but did I really want to be in a video where God alone knew who might see me. I could just imagine the uproar if my family were ever to find out. And to be brutally honest there was no way my modest sexual equipment could match up to the studs Kristal played with in her films. Don't need to go there. No, I needed to find some other way.
I thought about the problem for a couple of days without coming up with a good idea and then out of the blue a comment by a co-worker gave me a thought. Jack Duncan has a social function to go to and he needed a date. The problem was that Jack was gay and didn't know any girls. We all knew of Jack's proclivities, but none of the people at the function he was going to knew about his sexual preferences and he didn't want them to know. Sally Ingram told him that all he had to do was call an escort service and hire an escort for the night. Tip the girl well and she would hang all over him, say whatever he asked her to say and make it look like she was the love of his life. Jack went right to the phone book, made a call and then took the rest of the afternoon off to go down to the escort agency.
Why wouldn't that work for me? I wondered how much it would take to get Kristal to be my escort for a week or two if I could even get her to consider it. It might work if I played it right, but to make sure I played it right I would need information — lots of information. I decided on a plan of action and then I stopped and stepped back to re-evaluate. It would be costly. I knew that it would not be cheap so the question became did I really want my fantasy bad enough to spend whatever it took to make it happen? Then I asked myself how often was someone able to make their fantasy come true. In the end the decision was simple.
"Fuck it; its only money."
And, my fantasy would be paid for courtesy of Joan and Jake.
The first order of business was to hire a detective agency. I asked my attorney for a recommendation and then called and made an appointment. The information I needed wasn't necessarily hidden, but I'm sure that some of it was not exactly public, but I knew that even if I could find it it would take more of my time than I wanted to spend so I decided to give the job to the professionals.
I met with the man at the agency and told him what I wanted and he said "no problem" and I gave him a retainer and left. Three days later they called me and gave me what I had asked for.
- Kristal was not married and had no current boyfriend.
- Agent's name and telephone number.
- Kristal was paid on the average of $2500.00 per video.
- Kristal made $156,670.00 last year off of nine videos, adult product endorsements and dancing at topless bars on celebrity's nights.
- And most important to me — she had no history of drug use and from what the detectives had been able to find she had never used drugs.
I already knew from what I'd found on the Net that her real name was Krista Grabowski; that she had been born on September 1, 1972 which made her thirty-seven and that she was five foot six and one hundred and five pounds arranged 34D x 24 x 33.
Armed with the information I called Kristal's agent, told him I had a business proposition for Kristal and asked him for an appointment. When he asked what kind of a proposition I told him that all I could tell him over the phone was that it was legal and would pay $8000.00 a week for a minimum of three weeks and could possibly go for as long as six weeks. Even at 10% his commission would be a minimum of $2400.00 so I figured that he would at least give me the appointment so we could talk about it and he did.
I flew to Los Angeles, took a cab to the address that the agent gave me and then I laid it all out for him.
"I want to hire Kristal to be arm candy for me. I know it is an unusual request, but I am willing to pay handsomely for it. It would be for a minimum of three weeks, but it could go as long as six weeks depending on whether or not she has other contractual obligations. I'm offering $8000.00 a week plus all expenses. It is a good deal for her. I know she makes about $2500.00 a film and makes about two a month so what I am offering is more than she would make for the month. I need to make one thing perfectly clear here. There is no sex involved in this. All she has to do is be seen with me, be seen staying with me — in the spare bedroom of course — and to act as if she is crazy about me. Shouldn't be too hard. She is an actress right?"
"I'm not sure that she will even go along with the idea, but before I even approach her on the idea we need to talk money. It might be true that she only makes a couple of films a month and your figure of $2500.00 is low by the way, but she has other income from personal appearances and other activities."
I had come to the meeting knowing that I was going to have to dicker and my $8000.00 offer was just to open the ball. I came into the meeting prepared to go as high as $15000.00 a week and after a half hour of haggling we settled on $12000.00 a week. All that was left was to put the proposal to Kristal and see if she would go for it. I told him that I would be at the Beverly Wilshire and would await his call.
The call came at six that evening. "She is not opposed to the idea, but she wants to meet with you. She has reserved a table at Spago's for eight. Try not to be late. She is a stickler when it comes to punctuality."
I took a cab to the restaurant getting there twenty minutes early and then I walked around sightseeing until five minutes before eight. I was led right to her table and she rose to greet me and offered me her hand. I surprised her and kissed it in the Continental manner and then we sat down. I looked across the table at her and could not believe that I was that close to her. Hell, I couldn't even believe that I'd touched her hand.
There were a good half dozen Hollywood beauties in the place that you have seen in the movies and on TV shows, but in my eyes Kristal's beauty put them all to shame and I wasn't the only man in the room who thought so. I saw male eyes constantly looking our way and I was pretty sure that they were not looking at me. Kristal was obviously amused at my discomfort and so she took pity on me and opened the conversation.
"I'll tell you up front that I probably won't do what you want, but I was intrigued enough by the proposition that I just had to sit down and talk with you. Jerry tells me that you want me to be what amounts to your escort for three or more weeks and you are willing to pay me $12000.00 a week to do it. Do I have that right?"
I nodded a yes and she said "Why on Earth would you do that when you could get a girl from an escort agency for a third of that amount?"
I figured that I had one shot at it and I figured that the best way to go about it would be to tell the entire story. Who knows, maybe she would be sympathetic and do what I hoped she would do out of pity. I told her about Annalise and Joan and that soured on women I'd retreated to my computer. I told her the effect that she had on me when I found her on the Net and about the fantasies that followed.
"And fantasies is all that they would ever have been had it not been for the money I received from suing Joan's lover and their employer. Then I got to thinking about the fact that you got paid to perform and the men in your films were paid to perform so why not use that windfall money to see if I could live out my fantasy."
"That's the part I don't understand. Jerry said that you said there would be no sex involved. You are willing to pay $12000.00 a week to live out a fantasy; a fantasy that you say revolves around sex with me, but you say no sex. That just does not compute."
"I know, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that if you agreed to do it, to spend the three weeks with me, having sex would cheapen the experience. To be blunt, that would make it no better than hiring a prostitute for an evening. I want more than that. I want the memory of having spent three weeks with the most beautiful woman in the world. I want the memory of walking into the auditorium to attend the symphony with you on my arm and dancing the night away with you at The Pit. I want to remember you sitting next to me at the ballgame and sitting across from me as we have dinner at Antoine's. I want the pleasure of seeing you walk out of the water at Lake Andrews with the sun behind you as you walk toward me. I could go on, but I think you get the idea."
"And it wouldn't hurt you at all to have all your friends and your ex-wife see it happen would it?"
"I honestly had not thought of that, but yes, it would be an added benefit."
"If I were to agree to your proposal what would be the mechanics of it?"
"In addition to the weekly sum I would pay all of your expenses and that includes any shopping that you might do while you are with me. I have a three bedroom condo and you will have your choice of rooms to sleep in. I only have two weeks of vacation coming so one of the weeks you would be there I would have to work so I will furnish you with a car to use while I'm at work so you can go shopping or sightseeing or whatever. Those are just some of the things I've thought of. I'm sure that you might think of some others and all you need to do is tell me and I'll do my best to make it happen."
"Mind you I'm not saying yes, but when do you want this to happen?"
"It depends entirely on you and your schedule."
"Jerry said it might go more than three weeks?"
"I told him three and maybe as long as six."
"Why the maybe?"
"I said three to six before we talked money. I didn't know if I would be able to swing more that three until I knew what it would cost."
"I can go six, but that would depend not on me but you. I have no idea of whether you would be able to stay that long. Even if you were to agree to do it you may not even want to stay the three. My position has to be one of "I'll take what I can get."
"Again, I'm not saying yes, but I'm not saying no either. I'll have to sit down and talk things over with Jerry. I need to see what other commitments I have coming up."
I didn't see how she did it, but she made some sign or other and the waiter magically appeared. "The veal scaloppini here is excellent" she said and I understood that the business part of the meeting was over.
I flew back home knowing that I had come as close to my fantasy as I was ever going to get. I'd met my Goddess; I'd kissed her hand and enjoyed her company for dinner. When you got right down to it I'd gotten more out of the deal than I'd any right to expect. It was time to get on with my life.
A week after I'd returned from LA I received a phone call from Kristal. Not her agent, but Kristal herself.
"I've decided to do it, but not the way you want. I've checked out my calendar and I do have some open time, but I don't have any three week blocks that don't have something that I simply have to do. If you are willing to break the weeks up — a week here, a week there — we can work something out. Does that sound like something you might be interested in?"
Talk about your silly questions. "Hell yes" I said. "When?"
"Jerry will call you and work out the details. Now look, this is important. Jerry doesn't know I'm calling you and you can't let him know that I have. He will tell you what I just told you, but then he is going to tell you that in order for it to happen you need to sign an employment contract and a waiver. The waiver will be written in a bunch of legal gobbledygook that you won't understand and Jerry will explain it away as an industry standard that prevents authorities from coming after us for prostitution. What it actually will be is a document waiving all of your rights to the story idea."
"The story idea?"
"Yes. Jerry was joking with a producer about your visit and the producer thought it would be great idea for a film."
"You bet. The producer thinks it will make a great movie and make some big bucks, but you won't get a dime of it if you sign that waiver. The employment contract is the same deal. Jerry will say that it is what prevents us from being charged with prostitution and that is true enough, but part of the employment contract states that all ideas and other things developed while under contract becomes the property of the company."
"But if I don't sign won't Jerry stop my fantasy from happening?"
"No sweetie. The producer wants the idea and is after Jerry to get it for him. Jerry will want to get it for free, but he will deal if he has to. Jerry also represents some main stream actors and he will want to stay on the good side of the producer."
"I don't understand. It is an idea or at least a thought that thousands of people have had."
"Yes sweetie, but you brought it out into the open. You talked to an agent about it. You talked to me about it and who knows who else you might have discussed it with. You made it a legitimate idea and if they made the movie without you signing off on it you could sue. A suit like that in this town could run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars and the producer does not want to chance that kind of money or the possible adverse publicity. I know it sounds weird but people are always suing someone over the use of "their" idea and a good portion of them either win or settle for decent money out of court."
"Why are you telling me this? Aren't you cutting your own throat?"
"No sweetie; I'm only being used as a tool in this. I'm being used as a way to get you to sign the waiver."
"But if there is big money to be made in the film aren't you costing yourself a bunch of change?"
"What it is sweetie is that the producer makes main stream films and no way is a porn actress going to get anywhere near the project. I may make a few bucks as an un-credited technical advisor, but someone like Catherine Zeta-Jones will be the star and the male lead will be someone like Brad Pitt. It will be a romantic comedy about some country bumpkin who hits the lottery and then comes to Hollywood to make his fantasy come true."
"How would you be a technical advisor?"
"What will happen is that Jerry will have me keep a diary of everything that you and I do and that diary will form the story line. In the end the boy and girl will discover that they are in love and live happily ever after. But for it to work you have to sign the waiver or be on board with the project."
"Be on board? What does that mean?"
"It means you negotiate a deal."
"What kind of deal?"
"That is up to you sweetie. Just know that if you play your cards right your fantasy is a sure thing. Got to run sweetie. Take care and remember that you haven't talked with me."
Make a deal? What did I know about making deals with a Hollywood agent? I was going to have to fake it, but to fake it I would need to know more that I did. My brother John worked for an advertising agency and he occasionally had to work with some film people so I gave him a call and asked him to meet me for lunch. I could talk to John about damned near anything. When I was eighteen and he was nineteen we double dated with the Anson twins and he did Bev on the backseat while I was busy doing Barb on the front. The following weekend it was me in the back with Bev and John getting down with Barb. My first threesome was with John and Carrie who was his girlfriend at the time. There weren't many I could talk with about my fantasy, but of those I could John was at the top of the list.
I met him at Mario's and over lunch I explained my problem and he, bless him, had the solution.
"I'll talk to Andy Nelson this afternoon. He is the guy who handles coordinating all of the film work that we do. I'll get the name of an agent from him. When this guy Jerry calls tell him that you talked about your fantasy with me. Tell him who I work for and that you told me your fantasy and that I said it sounded like it would make a good movie. Tell him I put you in touch with Andy who gave you the name of an agent to call. Tell Jerry that you haven't had a chance to call the agent yet and then like your lady said it will be up to you to make a deal. Word of advice bro. Take his first offer, triple it and go from there."
"But I don't really want anything but the time with Kristal."
"He doesn't know that. Deal to get more weeks with the babe. Cut what you have to pay and have more to spend on her. Maybe get him to pick up expenses like airfare. Don't know brother mine; you need to figure it out. You know what you want so do what you think you need to do to get it."
He called me that night with the name of an agent in Los Angeles and then I waited to hear from Jerry.
It was two days after Kristal's call that Jerry called me. The conversation went just as Kristal had predicted and when Jerry got to the part about signing waivers and employment contracts I told him that I would have to hold off on that.
"You know we won't be able to move forward on your proposed arrangement with Kristal until we have these papers signed."
"I know, but I found out that I might have some other options available."
I told him about talking to my brother, my brother bringing Andy into it and Andy giving me the name of an agent in Los Angeles.
"So you are saying that this guy who works with your brother sees a movie in this?"
"Well, he does work with film crews when making commercials and he is exposed to a lot of Hollywood types. He thinks it might have possibilities and he suggested that I give an agent a call. He gave me the name of a guy he has dealt with. Myron Eubanks; know him?"
"We've met. You know, he might be onto something. The more I think about it the more I can see that maybe there is something there. But hey, why call another agent; you already know me. I'll fax you the forms to fill out making me your agent. I'll shop the idea around and see what we can come up with. You need to know that as your agent I get 15% off the top."
"Okay, fax me the paperwork and I'll sign it and get it back to you. Now what about the deal with Kristal?"
"I talked with her a couple of days back and I think we are a go."
Then he went on to explain that I wouldn't get my three weeks in a single block, but if I was willing to split them up I could get the six that we had talked originally talked about.
"We just need to work out the details. Her first open week is the week after next."
Two days later Jerry called me and told me to submit my idea to him as a proposal. "Your brother's friend has good instincts. There is some interest. Make it look like a screen play if you can."
What the hell did I know about screen plays? I had however done enough outlines when I was in school to know how to outline an idea. I took what Kristal had told me and changed it around enough so it wouldn't sound like I was repeating something that I'd heard.
My hero was hung up on Kate Hudson and collected her photos, saw all of her movies, read everything written about her in People, US Weekly, Star' In Touch and other magazines like that and in general was obsessed with her (much the same as I was with Kristal). He had a rich uncle who died and left him a ton of money so he decided to head off to Hollywood to see if he could use his new found wealth to get close to his fantasy woman. He located his fantasy woman's agent and offered him fifty thousand if he would arrange for our hero to work with her in one of her films. The agent took the money, called in a favor and got our hero a bit part in one of fantasy woman's films. Then the agent laughingly told a bunch of people about 'the idiot' who paid just to be near fantasy woman and fantasy woman overheard, felt sorry for our hero and made an effort to spend some time with him on the set.
She invited him to a party at her house and he went and had a good time. He asked her for a date and she said yes and they had a good time. Romance bloomed. Then the busy bodies got involved. "You are ruining your career." "Your public will never stand for you getting together with a loser like him." People started doing things to 'save her from herself.' Things like deliberately scheduling her for things when they knew she had a date with him. Things like leaking phony stories to the gossip press about her 'secret romance' with (fill in the blank with the name of the male Hollywood star of the moment). Things like leaking to gossip columnists that she only spends time with our hero to camouflage her romance with the male star of the moment.
Our hero hears all of this and his heart is broken and he leaves the Left Coast and goes home to Hicksville to lick his wounds. A couple of weeks later there is a knock on his door and he opens it to find fantasy woman standing there. She rushes into his arms and they live happily ever after. Or not.
I faxed the outline off to Jerry and then waited to see what would happen next.
What happened next caught me completely by surprise. It was a week after I'd faxed my outline to Jerry. It was a Saturday night when the phone rang and it was Kristal.
"My flight leaves here at 3:06 pm tomorrow and gets into Denver at 6:21. You going to pick me up or should I cab over to your place? If I have to cab I'll need your address."
I was stunned into speechlessness.
"Rob? Are you there?"
I finally managed to get my wits about me and said, "I'll be there to pick you up. You won't be able to miss me. I'll be the one with the big goofy grin who won't be able to stand still."
It didn't really hit me until after I'd hung up the phone. My silly fantasy, my ridiculous pipe dream, my stupid off the wall idea was going to happen. It was really going to happen.
I was at the airport when United flight 748 arrived, but because of all the dumb Homeland Security bullshit I couldn't meet Kristal at the gate, but I told her that I would be outside waiting. She came out the door and all eyes were on her as she looked right and then left and spotted me. She walked up to me, put her two suitcases down, put her arms around me and gave me a kiss that made me weak in the knees.
"Happy to see me?"
"Oh God yes."
"Well then lover, let's get out of here and start our week."