Chapter 1

I snapped the phone closed and tossed it on the bed. I had known all along that the day would eventually come even though I'd hoped and even prayed that it never would.

The email had been sitting on my computer when I woke up and logged on. Email was the only way my family could get in touch with me. The message was from my sister Ellen and all it said was, "Call me Rob; it is urgent." My Tracfone only had four minutes on left on it so I had to go down to the 7-11 on the corner and buy some more time. I went across the street to the IHOP and had some breakfast and then walked back to my apartment to make the call.

My father had collapsed at work, had been rushed to the hospital and had undergone triple bypass surgery. My mother was a basket case and:

"I have a husband and four kids to take care of Rob. I just cannot take on mom and dad and the business on top of that. You have to come home. Like it or not baby brother, your family needs you."

It took me two days to wind up my affairs, load up my car and then I was on my way back to a place that I hoped that I would never see again.

Lori and I had met in high school and had begun a somewhat turbulent relationship. Someone in administration had decided that teaching students some of the social graces should be part of the curriculum so one day during third hour gym class on a day when the boys were to have the pool and the girls the gym it was announced that for the next two weeks gym would be dance classes.

Lori was tall for her age and stood almost a head higher than most of the boys in the class. I was also tall for my age so Lori was paired with me. It did not start out well. Lori was strong willed and she fought me for the lead, but I was just as strong willed and I wouldn't let her have it. It was a constant battle and as a result we looked "jerky" when we danced. Sort of like puppets whose strings were not being pulled in unison. It might have gone on like that for the remainder of the class had we not been informed that our dancing was going to be graded and would be part of our grade for gym class. Lori was a straight A student and she would not do anything to change that so she reluctantly — very reluctantly — backed off and let me lead. We got through the class, Lori's grades didn't suffer and that should have been the end of it.

Lori and I had several classes together so we saw each other almost every day and we talked and were sociable, but all we were were classmates. The school sponsored a dance on the last Friday of every month that school was in session and one day while I was studying at a table in the library Lori came up and asked me if she could join me. After she sat down she asked me if I was going to the dance on the coming Friday and I told her that I had not planned on it. She told me that she wanted to go and had been asked by several guys, but that she had turned them down. She said she felt awkward dancing with boys shorter than she was and then she asked me if I would take her. That caught me by surprise since I had never been asked out by a girl. On the other hand I had never asked a girl for a date either so I really didn't know what to say. I guess Lori took my lack of an immediate response to mean that I was about to turn her down so she said:

"Please Rob. I would really like to go. This will be my first dance."

It would be mine too so after giving it a minute's thought I told her that I would take her to the dance. My dad drove me over to pick up Lori and then he drove us to the school. It was more fun than I had expected and I guess Lori also had a good time and while we were waiting for her dad or mom to pick us up Lori asked me if we could do it again when the next dance came around. I said yes and after that we just sort of drifted into going steady.

Our dating was a lot like our dance lessons started out. I wanted to go to A and she wanted to go see B. I wanted to do C and she insisted that no, we needed to do D. We each gave in to the other enough to keep us from splitting apart and it continued like that all the way up to the eleventh grade.

Things changed when we became juniors. A lot of it was because by then growth spurts had come along and a lot of the boys who Lori had considered too short for her in the past were now as tall or taller than her. Some of it was because Lori was just as strong willed as ever and the rest of it was because I suddenly had responsibilities on my plate. My dad owned the local building supply company and I had to work there after school and on weekends. The store had passed from my grandfather to my dad and my father expected to pass it on to me and so I was expected to learn the business from the bottom up.

It was the job that caused the first break in our relationship. Lori wanted to go to a party on Saturday and I said that I would take her, but then my dad told me that I couldn't go because that was the weekend that we had to do the yearly inventory and I would be needed at the store. He told me that if we 'got at it' we could possibly finish up in time for me to go to the party.

"Possibly?" Lori said. "I'm supposed to just sit at home and wait to see if you can make it? No thanks Rob. You told me that you would take me and now you are saying "maybe" and that just isn't going to cut it. I'll find someone else."

And she did. Two days before the party she called me and told me that Leroy Adams was going to be her date for the night. I didn't much care for Leroy — he was an asshole as far as I was concerned — but if that was what Lori wanted so be it. I wasn't bothered by the fact that Lori was going with someone else because after all, it was my job that got in the way after I told her I would take her.

We made good time with the inventory and we did finish in time for me to get cleaned up and get to the party. The party had already started by the time I got there and I walked in to see Leroy and Lori dancing. Not a big deal; it was to be expected since they came together, but then Leroy spotted me and he smirked and slid his hand down and cupped Lori's ass. Again, to be expected because I've already stated that Leroy was an asshole, but as he did it he said something to Lori and she glanced over and saw me. She moved in closer to Leroy and the look she gave me said:

"So what? I'm his date, not yours."

I'd be lying if I said that it didn't piss me off. I looked away from the two of them and saw Pauline French standing off to the side by herself so I went over and asked her to dance. She smiled and moved into my arms and we danced. Lori could not stand Pauline. I never did know why and right then I did not care. I spent the rest of the night dancing and talking with Pauline and ignoring the looks I got from Lori. I asked Pauline if she needed a ride home and she said yes.

On the way we stopped at the drive in and ordered burgers and fries and just as the girl skated up to us with our order on the tray I saw Lori staring at us as Leroy drove through. She did not have a pleasant look on her face. When I walked Pauline to her door she thanked me for the evening and then she kissed me. On impulse I said that maybe we could do it again and she said that she would like that so I made a date with her for the following Friday.

Normally on Sunday I would call Lori and set something up for that afternoon or evening, but the more I thought about the look she gave me when Leroy put his hands on her ass the less inclined I was to talk to her so in the end I didn't.

Lori and I didn't have any morning classes together so the first time I saw her on Monday was at lunch. I was sitting at a table by myself when she came in, got her tray and went through the line. She paid the cashier, looked at me and then walked over and sat down with Leroy and another guy and girl. Okay, I thought, if that's the way you want it, fine! I didn't look her way for the rest of the lunch period and when I finished eating I got up and left the cafeteria.

My first class after lunch was a class that Lori was also in, but so was Pauline. I made sure that I was talking with Pauline when Lori walked into the classroom and I kept talking to Pauline until Mrs. Abbott called the class to order. I ignored Lori the entire class so I have no idea how she was taking things, but then I didn't really care either. I had two more classes with Lori in the afternoon and for both of them I waited until the last second before entering the room and taking the whichever empty seat was farthest from Lori and then I ignored her. After school I hurried off to work at the store.

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty much a repeat of Monday, but on Thursday Lori got to the cafeteria before I did and was sitting at a table alone. I glanced her way when I left the line and she gave me a quick smile, but I didn't return it and I headed for an empty table on the other side of the room. I ignored Lori for the rest of the day, but when my last class of the day let out I found Lori waiting for me outside in the hall. She got right to it.

"Why aren't you talking to me?"

"I figured that was the way you wanted it."

"Why would you think that?"

"You seem to be spending a lot of time with Leroy and far be it for me to butt in."

"That's not fair Rob. It wasn't my fault that I had to find some one else to take me to the party."

"But the way you danced with him and let him paw your ass was your fault Lori and the look you gave me when you saw me watching was your fault."

"What did you expect me to do with you carrying on with Pauline the way you were."

"Bullshit Lori. I had just walked in the door and hadn't even seen Pauline yet and he had his hand on your ass and when he told you I was watching you deliberately moved in so close to him that you couldn't see daylight between the two of you. And what about that look you gave me when you did it? And what about lunch period? You looked at me and then deliberately went and sat with Leroy three days in a row. You chose Leroy Lori and so I haven't butted in."

"I don't want to argue with you Rob. Why don't we go out tomorrow and put this unpleasant mess behind us?"

"Sorry Lori, but you seemed so wrapped up in Leroy that I asked Pauline out tomorrow night."

Lori got a nasty look on her face. "Pauline? Why Pauline?"

"Why not Pauline? She's a great looking girl and she's a lot of fun. I don't have anything planned for Saturday if you are free" but that was said to her back as she stomped off. I smiled to myself as she walked away. Was I being a jerk? Yes I was, but don't forget that at the time I was only seventeen and "yes, but you started it" was still a part of my vocabulary.

Lori was waiting for me in the hall outside my first class of the day when I got to school in the morning.

"What are we going to do Saturday and what time are you going to pick me up?"

I spent a good part of the morning wondering if Lori was trying to make up with me or just trying to keep me out of the clutches of Pauline. After a couple of dates things were back to the way they were before the inventory weekend.

The night of the junior prom Lori and I surrendered our virginities to each other and for the next couple of months we coupled whenever we found ourselves alone. Then a week before Christmas break Lori hit me with:

"I think we need some time apart Rob. We have been together since the eight grade and I really think that we need to see some other people for a while."