Chapter 4

"His head it felt heavy as he came across the land..."

Derek woke up feeling unusually rested. The fact that he had slept on the couch trying to make room for Lily didn't really matter. And the fact that he had only slept for four hours didn't matter either. He couldn't help but smile. It was the first time in years that he had slept without nightmares.

He had suffered from night terrors for ages. It was the price for being a cop. But he had slept soundly holding Lily in his arms and didn't even feel tired as he did every other morning. Lily, his talisman. He smiled again. Apparently, sleeping with a beautiful brunette put him in a good mood.

Funny how all the psychologists he had talked to over the years had never suggested that as a cure. Not that they hadn't tried to help him. They had but they couldn't. They were so focused on finding something hidden in his past, some kind of trauma in his childhood. And when they couldn't they always prescribed pills that he never took. He didn't blame them for trying. It was their job to be certain that he wouldn't shoot anybody he wasn't supposed to. Derek knew that carrying a gun meant that you had too much power in your hands. And he was too responsible to use that power recklessly.

Suddenly it dawned on him. Last night he had shared the couch with a woman and he hadn't touched her. He wasn't so sure that he liked the realization. He flexed his sore muscles cursing under his breath. Where was Lily anyway?

Lily was feeling embarrassed. She wasn't used to crying or being comforted by men. Allowing others to hold her was always something difficult for her. When she was just a little girl she begged her parents for a hug or some kind of affection but although they loved her they were really uncomfortable expressing their feelings. They used to consider emotions a weakness and she grew up that way. Someone would say that they were cold but she knew better. Lily's parents loved each other deeply as well as their daughter. They just didn't know how to show it. And she never learned how. To that day she seldom let anyone take care of her. Even in drama school she had trouble with the exercises that required falling with your eyes closed and hoping that your partner will catch you; trusting someone that much was beyond her.

That was why facing Derek after spending the night in his arms was difficult and why hiding in the tiny kitchen seemed like a good idea. Until Lily heard someone coughing behind her and almost dropped a mug full of steaming coffee on the floor.

She turned around putting a hand on her chest trying to force her heart to calm down. "You scared the hell out of me!"

Derek grinned. "Good morning." He took the mug from her and she felt her insides melt as his fingers briefly touched hers.

"Did you sleep well? I'm afraid I didn't leave you much room ... The couch is small and I..."

Derek interrupted her awkward apology with a laugh. "You seem to be in a good mood," she told him.

"I am," he replied still smiling.

"I should cry more often," she joked.

"No," he corrected her looking deep into her eyes. "I should sleep with you more often."

Lily stared at him speechless. "But since this is not going to happen any time soon I should probably find another woman to sleep with on the couch," he went on.

She didn't like the way the conversation was heading. If he was attempting to make her feel jealous he didn't know who he was dealing with. "And how can you be so certain that it won't happen again?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Because you are looking at me as if I am a criminal who's about to pounce on you. So I guessed that you didn't have as much fun as I had. Sleeping," he explained but making it sound as if they were talking about something else.

She really didn't like the way the conversation was heading. "Anyway," she said changing the topic, "I have a rehearsal today."

"Where?" he asked taking a tentative sip.

"At the theatre. Where else?"

She sat as far away from him as possible. Derek didn't seem to notice but gave her a hard stare. "Out of the question," he said.

Lily felt her temper rising. "I didn't know that I had to ask for your permission."

"You do. So get used to it."

He could be such an asshole when he wanted to. "And why is that?" she asked humoring him.

"Because last time you were there someone tried to kill you. That's why. And because I don't have the time to come with you and babysit you."

She got up from her chair so fast that the coffee was spilt all over the table. "Excuse me?" she asked in a high-pitched voice. "I don't need you to look after me Derek. I don't know what gave you that impression. Ok, so someone tried to hurt me-"

"Kill you," he corrected standing in front of her.

"Whatever. And I admit that I was crying last night but that doesn't mean that I need a sitter. And no one, not even you, the powerful inspector can stop me from doing what I want. Never forget that Derek."

Her little speech had made things worse but it made her feel a lot better. Derek took a step closer so that her breasts were almost touching his chest. It made her feel uncomfortable and he knew it. "Lily, someone is trying to get rid of you. Your best friend was murdered and you are in danger. But above all, I am responsible for you. For your safety. And no matter what you say I won't let anything happen to you. When I close this case you can go and get killed if you like. Until then, you will do as I say."

Lily heard the tone of command in his voice and his need to protect her. But she was never an obedient person and the fact alone that he was forbidding her to do anything infuriated her. "I'm going anyway," she announced.

"No." A simple word but she wasn't listening.