Protection Fer Who? - Cover

Protection Fer Who?

Copyright© 2008 by aubie56

Chapter 1

Shit, that hurt! The two Bushwhackers who had been holdin' my arms had thrown me against the wall of the barn. It's a wonder I wasn't killed, as I just missed a couple of pegs pokin' from the wall where tools an' materials were usually hung. Maybe they aimed fer the empty place, since I wuz no good ta 'em dead.

They grabbed me again an' held me while another of their band pounded on my belly with his fists. By this time, I could hardly breathe, an' I certainly couldn't stand up by myself. The leader turned ta my wife an' said, "If we come back an' that $50 ain't here when we do, we'll have some fun with ya afore we kill ya both. Ya'll jus' keep that in mind. We'll see ya'll in two weeks. But, afore we go, let's see what we'll be comin' back fer." With that, he grabbed my wife's dress at the neck an' ripped down, tearin' it from her body. She stood there, naked, while the seven men laughed.

One of the Bushwhackers said, "Shit, I hope they don't have the money when we git back. I'd shore like a piece of that cunt." They released her an' mounted their horses.

As they were ridin' away, the leader said, "Remember! Two weeks!" They rode away, laughin' an' jokin' at our expense.

My wife, Jane, ran ta me as I lay on the ground, finally recoverin' my breath. "Jeff, did they break any bones?" At least, she wuz smart enough not ta ask if I wuz hurt!

"No, Honey, but they shore did a number on me. I hurt all over. Please get some clothes on an' help me into the house."

"Ta hell with clothes, I'll worry 'bout that later. Lean on me, an' we'll git ya ta bed."

Between the two of us strugglin' ta do it, but with Jane doin' most of the work, I fell into bed, an' she got my clothes off. Once I wuz safely tucked into bed, she put on her other dress. Dammit, she only had two dresses, an' those bastards had ruined one of 'em.

"Honey, ya'll have ta do it, since I can't sit up yet, but our pistols have ta be reloaded. Please reload both my LaMats an' yar Colt. They've been sittin' around too long an' they may misfire. The caps are OK, but the powder needs replacin'. I ain't never goin' out of the house, again, without wearin' both my guns. I could of stood those bastards off if I hadn't been so careless in leavin' my guns hangin' on the peg. I want ya ta wear a gun at all times, too."

"But, Dear, I can't wear a gun when I'm wearin' a dress, an' it's too hot an' sticky this time of year ta wear trousers."

"We'll fix that. Get yar holster an' a couple of belts, an' we will rig ya a shoulder holster." Jane returned in a couple of minutes with the belts an' holster, an' I showed her how ta make a temporary shoulder rig fer her holster. "The next time we go into town, we'll get ya a proper rig, but that should work out fer now."


It wuz two days before I had recovered enough ta resume workin' on the farm chores. Thank God that the plowin' an' sowin' were already done, or we would be in a heap of trouble. As it wuz, I dragged my ass around an' did what had ta be done, but I spent a lot of time restin' an' plannin' what I wuz goin' ta do when those Bushwhackers came back.

They claimed they were collectin' a $50 "tax" from all of the local farmers ta protect us from Jayhawkers. Well, it wuz 1863, an' Jayhawkers were a problem in this part of Missouri, but most people thought that Bushwhackers were just as bad. Anyway, I planned on there bein' some dead Bushwhackers the next time they came around.

Fer one thin', there wuz no way that I wuz goin' ta pay their $50 "tax." Shore, I had about $80 in gold coins hidden away, so I could have paid if I wanted ta, but I shore as hell wuz not goin' ta pay any Bushwhacker ta do my fightin' fer me. Besides, I had no confidence in their "protection." I had my two LaMat pistols, .42 caliber with the attached 18-gauge shotgun, an' I wuz a damned good shot, so I figured that I could take care of me an' mine, if I wuz smart enough ta keep the guns handy.

Normally, I do like most people an' leave an empty chamber in the cylinder fer safety's sake, but I decided ta go one better. The LaMat has nine chambers in the cylinder, so I told Jane ta load all nine, but leave the cap off of the one the hammer wuz restin' on. That way, it couldn't accidentally fire, but it could be brought into use quickly by addin' the needed cap.

Those extra three shots could be a life saver, since most people figure on only six bullets bein' the maximum available before reloadin', so I figured ta catch some fool in some foolishness without much delay.


The sun rose right on schedule that fateful day when our "protectors" were due ta show up. I told Jane ta stay in the house an' shoot through open windows if the opportunity arose, but not ta come outside fer any reason before I called her out. I explained that I expected ta be movin' around a lot this day, an' I needed ta know where she wuz if I needed help. I don't know how much of that white lie she believed, but she did agree ta do what I asked, an' that wuz all that mattered.

We must have been the first on the bastards' list ta visit, because it wuz hardly daylight, an' we had just finished breakfast when they showed up. I had kept all of the stock in the barn over night, just in case, an' I wuz in the barn puttin' away the milkin' stuff when I heard horses approachin'.

I figured that one horse might have been a neighbor visitin', but seven horses wuz another story! I knew that I would have little choice, but either ta pay up the $50, or ta fight. Since I wasn't goin' ta pay, I planned ta ambush an' kill as many as I could in the first few minutes. Anythin' else would just get me killed an' Jane raped before she wuz killed.

There wuz only one road the bastards could use ta approach our house at that speed, so I knew right off where ta find 'em. Good, they were ridin' into my trap, all fat an' sassy. I had rigged up a little fort fer myself, an' I ran fer it as soon as I heard the horses. I planned ta let 'em get inside my gate so I could trap 'em against the fence, in easy range of the front of the house where Jane could get in a few shots if she wuz so of a mind.

The bastards came ridin' in as if they owned the world an' paused at my gate. The leader shouted, "JEFF BURNSIDE, WE'VE COME TA COLLECT THE TAX! COME ON OUT AN' PAY UP!"

I had some extra good luck at this point. One of the gang wuz just barely inside the gate, so I put a bullet through his horse's head, droppin' the animal so that he blocked the obvious escape route. The horse fell so quickly that the rider didn't have the opportunity ta jump free, so he wuz pinned by his leg under the animal. He had lost his gun when the horse fell, so he wuz not an immediate danger, an' I ignored him.

Jane an' I had agreed that I would fire the first shot, but after that, she wuz free ta shoot as many of the bastards as she wished. She opened fire with her Colt Navy an' put a bullet through the arm of the leader. It wasn't his shootin' hand, but it wuz probably a fatal shot if he lived long enough fer gangrene ta set in. Her next shot killed one of the other gang members with a head shot. Damn! That woman could shoot when she had time ta aim.

By this time the rest of the gang, four men, had their guns firin' at the house, an' none had noticed me in my little fort. This gave me plenty of time ta line up my next shot, an' I put a bullet into the belly of one of 'em. They saw my puff of gunsmoke an' turned my way. There wuz a little breeze, so the smoke did not bother my aim, Thank God fer the wind!

They had all started shootin' at me in my fort, so Jane had time ta reload. We had made up some paper cartridges, so it took her a lot less time than anybody would expect fer her ta complete her reloadin'. She now had six shots, an' there were only three galoots left. She started shootin', again, an' nicked one of the horses, which made him rear an' dump his rider on the ground. The horse took off runnin' toward the back of the house with the rider's foot caught in the stirrup. That man's screamin' just added ta the chaos an' confusion.

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