Godhood - Cover

Godhood

Copyright© 2008 by Kintar

Chapter 1: Creation and Sorrow

The sudden flare of light startled me. I am sure I would have been blinded in the crimson — yellow burst if I had happened to have eyes. My thought, my conscious mind looked at that light with a mixture of feelings, sensations and not without a little bit of confusion. In mere moments, the harshness dissipated, leaving only the soft warm glow of illumination emanating from a basketball sized globe. It was a swirling yellow and red, like a sun, quietly hovering, as if waiting for something. Peering at the scene, I could make out a disc of dust partials that quickly scattered, rippling away like a drop of water on an infinitely still pond. I could feel the ripple and dust move though my consciousness with a tickling sensation.

I had a reference point now, and with a thought, moved closer in that darkness, curious and amazed. Perhaps I had been moving all along, consciousness floating on a sea of black infinity and only now with this point in the void, could I tell. My mind, maybe my sub-conscious had felt ... heard my desire and willed it into being. It was indeed a yellow sun. Smaller than the one I was used too, but a sun nonetheless. I could feel the heat in my mind, exactly like it would have felt on my Earth. A memory surfaced, and I was feeling that warmth on my face on a sunny day in spring; one of those days where it's still cold, but the light beating down on you is a reminder that winter is gone, and summer will be there in a few short weeks.

I was stunned. Utterly stunned. Questions ran rampant through my brain, or mind, or whatever I had now. I had just created, out of nothingness, a sun. With a tentative, almost caring feeling I stretched out my awareness and wrapped my thought around that sun, soaking in its fire. What else could I do in this void? My thoughts swirled like my home Milky Way Galaxy ... The galaxy ... There was an idea, this void was a dark bleak place. I created one sun, and that was just a close star to Earth; a few more shouldn't be any trouble.

I called in my mind again, "Let there be light!"

But nothing happened.

This time there was no burst of light, no new sun in a distant place. My awareness moved back a bit, confused. It had worked last time. Why not this? Maybe my subconscious really did have something to do with it. Or maybe...

Before my death, I was a big fan of David Eddings and one of his series, he described what he referred to as "The Will and the Word". Maybe this new power, in this place of darkness worked something like that. The words were not enough, it required a power ... my Will ... behind it. Prehaps, in my desperation before, I had unknowingly forced my Will to the surface and my words had activated the power. It really was a good check and balance system, but could Eddings have stumbled on the answer by accident what the cosmos intended by design? Maybe as a normal human, we just didn't quite have the mental Will yet to really activate this wonderful gift, which in reality, may not have been necessarly a bad thing. Our greed and warlike nature would only have been compounded by this ability.

I gathered myself and poured the rest of my being into the word.

"Light!"

And this time I could feel it. My Will gathering and expanding and exploding into a star far off into the distance. I mentally smiled, reveling in this new power.

After that I think I went a bit crazy. It was wondrous, the charging, and then the release of pure power and Will! It was better than any drug, any feeling, any emotion. But that power had a price. A while later I floated there simply exhausted, I had no more Will left to create a tear much less the elements necessary to create a flaming sun.

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