Chapter 5: What a life

They say that confession is good for the soul so here I am about to confess to the black marks on my soul.

At 15...

I lost my virginity, not long after my 15th birthday, to my cousin Kelly. My parents, Kelly's parents and another aunt and uncle were at our house for a BBQ lunch. Kelly was 17 at the time and really filling out in the right places. I even noticed my dad and uncles checking her out as her bikini-clad body dove into our pool. Kelly's father, my uncle Ben, had been going on and on since he arrived about his new home theatre set up and inviting everyone over to look at the quality of the pictures.

As lunch was winding down my dad finally cracked and suggested we all head on over to Ben's and watch his stupid TV. Kelly wanted to stay in the pool and said she had seen enough of the TV. My parents agreed she could stay here and I could stay as well. The cars had no sooner left and Kelly came and stood in front of me, as I lay on my towel trying to hide my erection. I'll admit Kelly had a reaction on me but I was not sure how to cope. I just lay there looking up her legs to her bikini briefs and past her flat mid-section to her hanging breasts cupped in the fabric of her bikini bra.

Kelly held out a hand and I reached out to take it when she gripped my hand and pulled me up exposing the tent of my shorts caused by my erect dick. Kelly dragged me inside and ordered me to my room. She followed me so I could not see her and when we reached my room she had stripped off her bikini. My mouth hung open as I saw my first fully naked teenage girl. "Pants OFF" were her next words and I dropped my shorts to the floor. My hands crossed in front of my dick trying to hide its erect state. Kelly pulled my hands away and let out a low whistle as she got a close up look at my private parts.

She then took me to stand by my bed while she lay down. Kelly explained how she was going to give me a valuable lesson on sex so I would know what to do when I had my own girl friends. First she massaged her breasts till her nipples went hard and stood firm and proud at attention matching the firmness of my dick. Next she moved her hands between her legs spreading them wide. Kelly told me about each part of her love area, giving me several names for each.

She pulled me onto the bed and rolled me onto my back, then she straddled my "boyhood" and lining it up slid it gently into her vagina. It slowly engulfed my dick as Kelly let her weight drop onto me. As soon as she bottomed out she rose again starting up a swaying motion. My whole being was separating, this was not happening to me; my body and brain were in conflict as Kelly bounced her way to an orgasm. Before I really had a chance to enjoy the moment it was over as my dick began unloading cum into Kelly and leaking out all over me.

We were back in the pool when the adults returned but over the next few weeks as the summer holidays progressed Kelly and I had sex about a dozen times. Kelly was always making excuses to come over and use our pool so sex was mostly at my house when we were left alone the adults thinking it was safe to leave us together when they went out.

On one occasion Kelly was giving me a blowjob while my mom stood on the other side of the pool barely ten paces away. Kelly was of course behind the pool bar out of view. Soon though it was back to school as the holidays finished but Kelly just stopped me cold on sex. She no longer came over and didn't call me back. I was almost pleading with her for sex, jerking off just wasn't getting me off with the desired thrill.

One afternoon we were on the same bus coming home and she did talk to me, about how sex was a drug and I was now a junkie, constantly craving the thrill, the high, the rush. She also told me that having sex with a cousin was bad but the excitement level was high and that the badder the level of sex the higher the thrill level and that I would always be looking for a new high. She then laughed at me and got off the bus.

I dated a few girls my own age but never even got close to sex before they were calling me off. Twice I was reported to school officials but when it came to a personal discussion with the school's vice principal I blamed the girls for dressing in skimpy and provocative outfits and having seen our VP checking out the girls himself on several occasions he immediately agreed with me and let me off with a warning.

At 16...

By the time I was 16 I had turned to petty crime to get some easy money to throw at some older girls. Again I was dudded as the girls let me buy them food, drinks, CD's and stuff but sex was out of the question. I got a part time job at the local 24 hr supermarket packing shelves and taking stuff to customer's cars. It was early one Saturday morning and I was having a break and wandering the mall looking in the closed shop windows when I came across Tracey, a young girl who worked at the store on the register.

Tracey was looking at MP3 players in the window of the electronics store. I stopped to make conversation and Tracey let me know she needed some extra cash before payday to get the latest player before the sale finished and the price went back up. She said she would do anything to get the money. I flashed my wallet at her, it was packed with $10 bills, and it looked like a lot of money. I told her if she helped me I'd help her out. She walked with me as we went into the corridors behind the stores and I directed her to just the right place. No one would be in the area till later but I knew that security had a camera down there.

Tracey stopped and when she turned around I had my hardening dick in one hand and a couple of $10 bills in the other. At first she was shocked and against having sex but I told her all I wanted was a BJ to apply some relief to my blue balls. Suck and swallow and the money was hers. Tracey was a young, short, slightly chunky blond. Not fat but big boobed and carrying some extra around the middle. Dressed as she was in a white blouse that stretched across her chest and short black skirt that barely covered her arse I'll admit I had checked her out in the past.

With a few compliments and a little persuasion Tracey dropped to her knees and took my dick in her hand. I held her hair away from her face as I looked around for the security camera. I spotted it up on the wall and saw it swivel and the light flash so I knew it was on us. Tracy stuck half my dick in her mouth and pumped the rest with her hand. A bit of slurping, sucking action, tongue twirling and head bobbing and soon I was shooting my load into her sweet 16 mouth. I held the back of her head forcing my dick in to her mouth until she gagged and swallowed the lot. She sat back on her haunches and looked at me as I tucked myself back in then I dropped the bills on the floor next to her and walked away.

At 17...

A few months later and I scored a job as an apprentice with a local smash repairer and as a part of my initiation they took me to a local nudie bar for a few drinks. Everyone was talking about sex as they ogled the dancing girls and after a few too many drinks I let it slip that I was not a virgin and knew how to fuck women. Lots of laughter later and after several ribald comments a few of the guys took me to a nearby brothel. After much discussion with the woman in charge money changed hands and I was finally paired up with an older lady, dressed like a nurse, who led me away to a room.

She got me to undress and then pretended to give me a physical exam. She put on latex gloves and ran her hands over my equipment. She gave everything a wash as well as probing my butt hole with a long finger. I might have had too much to drink but I responded as I was supposed to and my dick sprang to attention under her handling. She pushed me on to the bed as she stripped from uniform to lingerie and then she was naked.

She lay back on the bed, spread her legs, and told me she was ready. I dropped on her like a ton of bricks and once I had my dick in her hole I went off like a bomb. Thrashing, jerking and pumping I moved the bed around the room grunting like a bull until I shot my semen right into her. Then the adrenalin died and the alcohol kicked in and I passed out still laying across her. I eventually woke up back at the workshop with a hangover and the boss telling me how the woman claimed, "I was a dud in the sack". He could not believe how much money he had paid for so little action and then said that was the last time he paid for my sex.

By now I was literally blowing my paycheck each week on hookers to satisfy my sexual cravings. The kinkier the sex the more I paid but still I felt empty. I started prowling the neighbourhood peering in windows and yards trying to catch woman at their most vulnerable. I was lucky on a few occasions when I was nearly caught but managed to get away.