Chapter 31

“We went out to the bar and handed the little bags containing our valuables to the bartender. He put them in a drawer under the bar. Mr. Graham pointed out my tables and even let me practice. He told Tanya and one of the other women to sit at one of my tables and I practiced taking their orders. I also practiced getting felt up. Both of them were wearing huge grins as they groped me the way the male customers would soon be groping me while ordering drinks.

“I tried to be flirty. But I’ll be honest. Even when it was just two of the other girls I was scared to death. I was shaking like a leaf while I took their orders and stood there letting them grope me like a couple of horny men. When I tried to give the bartender their orders only seconds later I realized I had no idea what they asked me for. It was a good lesson. I learned to ignore the hands and concentrate on the words.

“In the next few minutes before the club opened I had a chance to meet some of the women who worked there. They didn’t seem at all surprised by my obvious youth. Some of them weren’t much older. I learned it wasn’t even unusual for runaway girls my age to go to work there. Some waited tables, some danced. Some did it all, and I do mean all. It was just a question of how much abuse you thought you could take. The more shit you were willing to put up with the more money you could make.

“But I wasn’t planning on getting rich. I just wanted to survive until I was old enough to get an honest job.

“It was probably only ten minutes later that the music started. It was so loud at first that it hurt my head. The first couple of nights were hard on my ears. I was surprised my ears didn’t start bleeding but I guess I adjusted to it after a while.

“Men started coming in and taking seats closer to the stage. My tables weren’t near the stage so I got to watch the dancers dancing and the waitresses interacting with the men. It was scary to see all those nearly naked women walking around as if dressing like that in public were normal. They let all those guys feel them up while taking their drink orders and they just smiled and flirted as if they enjoyed it.

“It was the middle of the week so it wasn’t crowded. After a while I began to wonder if I was going to get any customers. I wasn’t anxious to get groped by complete strangers. But our money came from tips. If I wanted to earn a living I was going to have to put up with the abuse.

“It was a long time before anyone sat at one of my tables. Finally, after nearly an hour, four older men in business suits came in and sat at one of my tables. They were already pretty well oiled.

“I went over to the table and smiled. They saw right away how nervous I was. They asked my name. Naturally I was too dumb to make one up. Then they asked my age. I told them I was twenty-one. They knew that was a lie. I could see it in their faces.

“They thought it was hot when in answer to one of their questions I admitted it was my first night and they were my first ever customers. They didn’t take it easy on me, though. They had their hands all over me while I took their orders. It was a good thing I was given a few minutes to practice before we opened. I was able to force myself to concentrate on what they were saying and not on what they were doing.

“I served them their drinks and I was surprised when I made twenty dollars in tips for serving four drinks. Twenty dollars may not sound like much to you but it’s a lot of money to me. Suddenly the hands were a little more bearable.

“They were my only customers for a long time so I was able to keep them satisfied. They got a little more aggressive each time I came to their table. They never exceeded the limits Tanya spelled out for me at the start of the night. They never tried to kiss me or stick their fingers inside of me. But they worked right up to the only two things that were forbidden them.

“All four of them played with my boobs and teased my nipples. I thought I was going to hate it when Tanya was telling me what to expect and I realized this was going to be a part of my job. But when it started I was actually a little concerned about how good it felt. I know it sounds bad. I probably shouldn’t tell you this. But I was afraid if they kept that up I’d end up doing something I really didn’t want to do. I hated it that the discovery came at the hands of four dirty old men in a strip joint but I quickly learned how much my body likes to be touched.

“They also worked their fingers inside my little G-string and rubbed my pussy or traced the thin string that ran between the cheeks of my ass and ran the tips of their fingers around my ... well, you know. I couldn’t stop blushing when they did that. But I even found that arousing. It was even more embarrassing because I watched the other women and they acted like they didn’t even notice the fingers exploring their bodies. I sure as hell noticed!

“It wasn’t long before I saw a lap dance taking place nearby. It was Tanya with a kind of cute younger guy. And it really looked like she was having fun. She straddled his legs and rubbed her body all over him. I knew she was wearing one of those little G-strings. But from where I was standing it looked like she was naked. My four customers were watching her, too. We watched until I was almost positive Tanya had an honest to god orgasm. I was watching her so closely I don’t even know how the guy she was rubbing on reacted.

“Tanya stayed there in his lap and they talked for several minutes while he ran his hands over her. I was distracted by one of my customers calling me closer. He reached out and pulled me up next to him by getting a firm grip on one cheek of my butt.

“I bent closer to ask him what he wanted. I was slowly becoming better able to cope with the loud music. But it was still too damned loud. It varied by what song was playing. But usually it was hard to hear unless you had your ears right up to someone’s mouth. The guy asked me if I would do that for him.

“Hell! I didn’t even know how much they charged for a lap dance! To be honest, though, I was tempted. Watching Tanya very nearly having sex with that guy was very exciting. But my heart rate was returning to normal and I started thinking a little more clearly. I smiled and told him I wasn’t ready for that yet. He was disappointed. But he made up for it by pawing me for a while.

“Eventually a man came in alone and sat at my other table. But those first four men occupied almost all my time until the club closed at two in the morning. They turned the music off at closing time and it was like I could finally breathe again!

“I spent the next few minutes while my customers finished their drinks fending off offers of large amounts of money to come to their hotel with them. First it was all of them, then each of them one at a time for increasing amounts of money. But I smiled and made it clear I wasn’t that kind of girl. They were disappointed. But eventually they seemed to accept it when I told them I didn’t do that sort of thing. Even though they were pretty drunk they never lost their tempers or got out of control.

“Tanya showed me how to get my tables cleaned off and put the chairs up. Then we got our valuables from the bartender and put our street clothes on. I went to the shelter. Tanya had a ‘date’ with the guy she gave the lap dance to.

“The people at the shelter don’t like it when girls come in that late. I got some dirty looks. But they didn’t say anything. They eventually started to tolerate it since I was working at the club six nights a week. But they never failed to make it obvious how much they disapproved when I returned there early every morning to get a place to sleep.

“After a few days they started bugging me about contacting Social Services and making a more permanent arrangement. The shelter isn’t supposed to be a permanent home. I never said I wouldn’t. But I didn’t. I didn’t dare. I knew it was illogical. I knew the odds were I’d be better off in a foster home or an orphanage. It would have to be better than getting groped in a strip club every night. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t bring myself to trust the authorities to take care of me. Not after my previous experiences. I had an illogical fear they’d send me back to Florida. I think I’d come to believe it was Florida’s fault I had to do all the things I’ve done since my mother committed suicide. My logical mind tells me that isn’t right but I still feel that way.

“I wasn’t happy about what I did that night. I felt very dirty. But I made almost two hundred dollars for serving drinks and letting four old guys feel me up. If I couldn’t get an honest job I knew that at least I could feed myself this way.

“I showed up at the club the following night in time to get my uniform on and get my tables ready for the evening. I only just put the chairs down when the bartender sent me to Mr. Graham’s office in the back. I was afraid I was going to have to suck his cock again. But there was another man in his office with him. When I went in he tossed me a t-shirt with the name of the club on it. He told me to turn it inside out and put it on.

“After I put the shirt on the old guy with him took my picture and I signed my name on a blank driver’s license. I took the shirt off and went to work. Before he left an hour later he handed me a driver’s license that proved I was twenty-one years old.

“I still looked like I was fifteen in the picture, though. No one who didn’t want to be fooled would be.

“I opened a savings account the next morning using my fake ID and deposited most of my money. It was really foolish to be carrying around thousands of dollars, especially in the dangerous environments in which I was spending my time.

“I worked there for almost a full year. Not long after I started working there I made friends with one of the other waitresses. She offered to share her apartment with me after I’d been there a month in exchange for half the rent and utilities. She wasn’t much older than me and I thought I knew her pretty well by that time. I knew she wasn’t taking men home and she knew I wasn’t going out with any of the customers.

“I did eventually perform a few lap dances. But I didn’t do it very often. And only if I thought the guy was cute and I had been flirting with him for a while. I finally had a place to live. I could stop eating all my meals in burger joints and sleeping in the shelter.

“Everything came crashing down around me last night. They close early one night a week. It was only midnight. But I was late getting out of the club. I was feeling kind of depressed and after I got dressed I suffered a minor breakdown in one of the bathroom stalls off of the changing room. I had an unexpected attack of self-pity and suddenly I just couldn’t stop crying.

“It took me a few minutes to pull myself together. By the time I was ready to face the world all the other girls had gone home for the night. I grabbed the old backpack I still use for a purse and started to leave.

“The guys out front thought they were alone. Do you remember that guy I told you about? The man who was sitting beside Mr. Graham when I first got hired ... the guy that felt me up and then fucked Tanya while I was doing what I had to do to get the job? It turns out he’s the owner of the club, that club and a dozen others all up and down the east coast. It also turns out Mr. Graham got caught skimming money from the club’s profits. The owner, Mr. Califaro, found out and took exception. I walked out into the club from the changing room just in time to watch him shoot Mr. Graham to death.

“I was too stupid and too shocked to run. I stood there with my mouth gaping open like a moron while Mr. Califaro and the two goons he brought with him stared at me.

“Before I could move one of the goons grabbed me and turned to his boss. Mr. Califaro shook his head and said to the goon, “What a fuckin’ waste! Shit!” Then he told him to get rid of me and Mr. Graham’s body. They dragged us both out the back door and threw the body into the back of a big SUV. The goon who was holding onto me pulled me into the backseat. The other guy drove while I was forced to suck off the guy who was about to kill me. Not just once. The ride up hear took hours. I must have spent at least two hours with his cock in my mouth and he probably managed to get off three or four times. It never occurred to me to keep track. Halfway up here the two goons traded places.

“I had no idea where we were going. Come to think of it, I still don’t know where I am. I couldn’t see the time but I know it took more than a couple of hours to get here. It was probably closer to four hours. It was hard to tell, though. Time passes so slowly when a couple of gorillas are trying to drive their cocks into your throat.

“Except for the brief respite I got when they traded places I spent the entire trip with my head in their laps and their cocks in my mouth. I hurt all over by the time they turned off the paved road and drove down a narrow dirt road somewhere around here. Not even a road, more of a path, actually. They pulled me out of the back of the car and slapped me around for a few minutes until I curled up on the ground waiting to die. But they made the mistake of ignoring me while they disposed of poor Mr. Graham’s body. I gathered that before they killed me the plan was to bury him in a shallow grave and then spend a few happy hours raping me.

“They started wrestling him out of the back of the SUV and I took off like a bat out of hell. They emptied their guns at me as I ran between the trees. But it was dark and there were lots of trees. They didn’t even run after me until their guns were empty. By then I was out of there.

“I hid for a few minutes until I was sure they weren’t going to come into the woods looking for me. When I thought it was safe I circled back around. I slowly snuck back up to the clearing and watched while they buried Mr. Graham. Then I listened while they discussed what they were going to tell their boss about me. I heard them decide to tell Mr. Califaro that I was dead.

“They didn’t have the nerve to tell him they let me get away. But they weren’t going hunting for me in the woods in the dark, either. Like me, they were city people. They were uncomfortable in the woods, especially after dark. They were anxious to get back to town. They tossed my backpack into the woods, got in the SUV and drove off.

I probably would have stayed there and cried for a while. That was what I wanted to do. But all of a sudden it was scary quiet. I started thinking ‘lions and tigers and bears, oh my!’

“I’m not someone who has spent a lot of time in the woods. It was dark and I was scared. I didn’t want to get eaten by a squirrel or a rabbit or Bambi or anything. It took me a few minutes to find my backpack. Then I started walking out to the main road.

“When I reached it I realized I didn’t even know which way was back toward civilization. There didn’t seem to be any homes or businesses anywhere. I dug my cheap watch out of my backpack and discovered it was just after four in the morning. There wasn’t a car on the road. Of course, if I saw a car I probably would have ducked into the woods.

“The first sign I saw of another human being was your driveway. I didn’t have any idea where it would lead. But there was a mailbox by the road so I took a chance. I didn’t even realize until I came out of your driveway in front of your house that there’s a lake here!

“I rang your bell and knocked but there was no answer. I sat down and leaned back against your door and cried for a little while. I was just about to go to sleep there when I saw that fake rock with your key inside of it. You really shouldn’t use that.”

I found myself agreeing.

“I let myself in. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have. But I was tired and scared and I swear I wasn’t going to take anything. I’m not a thief.”

I smiled reassuringly and said, “It’s okay. I believe you.”

“I figured this must be some rich person’s vacation home and I’d be safe here for a day or two until I figured out what to do. I took a shower and borrowed an unopened toothbrush. Then I went to bed.”

“It was the strangest thing. When I awoke I somehow knew I wasn’t alone in the house, even before I smelled the coffee. I got dressed and came downstairs. I saw a nice man who wasn’t upset with me and who didn’t try to rape me when he found me in his bed. I’m not accustomed to meeting nice men. I appreciate what you did for me.”

I shook my head and said, “I didn’t do anything for you.”

She smiled her angelic smile and said, “Yes you did. You didn’t get upset. You gave me coffee and a delicious omelet. You let me explain, and probably bore you to death. But most of all you haven’t tried to take advantage of me. That’s a new concept for me.

“Or is that next on the schedule?”

I laughed and said, “I’m retired. I don’t have a schedule anymore.”

Suddenly the numbers clicked in my head. I looked at her and exclaimed, “Wait a minute! You’re only sixteen?!”

She smiled and answered, “Not according to my driver’s license.”

Christ! I’ve been thinking she’s in her early twenties!

Her smile grew wider. She knew what I was thinking and she said, “Yeah. Amazing isn’t it! And technically I’m still a virgin!”

I sighed and said, “I have the strongest desire to give you a hug and tell you that your troubles are over and everything will be all right now. But I imagine another strange man hanging off of you is the last thing you need.”

Her eyes filled with tears. The smile disappeared and she said, “Actually, I could use a nice hug from a good man right now.”

I got up and helped her to her feet. We held onto each other for several long minutes while she cried softly in my arms. I feel so bad she has been forced to live the horrible life she just described in so much painful detail that I felt like crying with her. The system has failed her miserably.

For nearly half her life she has been mistreated, abused, molested and taken advantage of. In that moment I resolved to do whatever I can to make it up to her. I can’t give her back her childhood. But I can let her know that the entire world isn’t the world she has been living in since before her mother was hounded to death and failed by the system. I can show her that sometimes good things happen to good people.

I waited until her crying was significantly diminished. I lifted her chin and kissed her cheek. Then I said, “I’m going to make it up to you. You’ll be safe here. Your life has just changed.”

She wiped her tears on her arms and smiled up at me. She said, “You’re sweet. But you don’t owe me anything. You let me sleep here and you let me get that story out of my system. I think it really helped to talk. I’ve kept everything bottled up inside of me for so long.

“Thanks for listening. And thanks for not judging me. You’re a very nice man. Meeting nice men is a new experience for me. But you don’t have to make anything up to me. You didn’t do anything to me to make up for. It’s nice of you to offer. But I’m uncomfortable enough about what I’ve taken from you already.”

I smoothed her luxurious long blonde hair down on her head and said, “It’s okay. I need a hobby. And I’m enjoying your company. Now, how about if I make us a light lunch and we go for a relaxing ride on the lake?”

She looked into my eyes for a minute and then she smiled and said, “I’d like that. And while we make lunch, maybe you can explain why a guy who isn’t much older than me is retired, if I’m not being too nosy.”

We went inside and I made BLTs while I told her about my wife and the business I still own but in which I no longer take an active part. She refused to believe I’m in my mid-thirties. Maybe she was just being nice. Either way, she’s a lot of fun to be with. I feel younger just being around her.

I couldn’t believe what a wonderful sense of humor she still has after all she’s been through. And I continue to find it impossible to believe her education stopped at the fifth grade. She has an incredibly broad range of general knowledge. She seems better informed than most of the educated adults I met on a daily basis before my wife was killed and I became a recluse.

It was a little early to bring it up so I didn’t. But I think someone with an inquiring mind like hers would really benefit from a college education. It’s something we’ll have to discuss later.

We ate lunch and then we had to find her something to wear. The only articles of clothing she had when they dragged her out of the club last night were a blouse and the pair of jeans she was wearing. It turned out that I have nothing appropriate for her to wear on the lake. Since I’m the only one here I don’t have a lot of women’s bathing suits lying around. She finally suggested that I lend her a t-shirt and she’d wear it like a cover-up.

She went into the bathroom and put it on over her panties. She came back out a minute later with her cute little butt just barely covered. She was actually blushing! I thought that was amazing after the life she has lived and the story she just told me. And it was incredibly endearing. Even after all she’s been through she’s embarrassed about being dressed in such a revealing outfit.

I smiled and said, “You look beautiful. Now please go back in there and put your clothes back on. We can drive over to the little town on the other side of the lake and get you a bathing suit and anything else you need until we can go shopping for a more complete wardrobe for you.”

She smiled and said, “I’m just being silly. So many men have seen me naked and had their hands all over me. It’s different with you. You’re nice. I like you. I care about what you think of me. But I don’t want you buying me anything. I have some money. I just have to sneak into town and get it without anyone I know seeing me.”

I nodded and said, “And we will. But not for a while. Unless you want to get involved with turning Califaro in to the cops and testifying at his murder trial I suggest we stay out of the city for a while.”

She looked sad and said, “I feel bad about Mr. Graham lying out there in a shallow grave.”

I asked, “Does he have a family?”

She shook her head.

“Then no one will miss him. Dust to dust. He won’t rape any more young girls. I don’t feel sorry for him. He was a thief and a child abuser. Let him rot.”

She looked at me funny and said, “That’s kind of cold. I wouldn’t have expected that from you.”

I guess it does sound cold. But it’s how I feel about the son of a bitch. I shrugged and said, “I have a different perspective than most people. I don’t believe in funerals or burials. Funerals are for the living. From what you’ve told me I gather there are no living people who would be interested in attending his funeral.

“I believe in leaving the planet pretty much the way you found it when you got here. When my wife died she was cremated. Her sister took her remains back to Ohio to be with her mother’s ashes. It was what my wife would have wanted. When I die I’ll be perfectly happy to end up just like Graham. There are already enough tombstones in the world no one ever visits and there are thousands of people dying every day.”

She thought about that for a moment and then said, “You know, I never thought about it that way. I suppose you have a point.”

Then she took my hand and said, “I apologize. I shouldn’t have rushed to judgment like that.”

I squeezed her hand and replied, “Of course you should. You don’t owe me any special consideration. Challenge me when you think you should. Make me explain myself. I’ll understand. I don’t think like most people about a lot of things. And I’m well aware that the way I feel about funerals and graves are scandalous.”

She pulled me out of the bedroom and said, “Come on. You can enlighten me out on the lake.”

I pulled her back into the room and said, “Andrea, I don’t want you to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. That lake isn’t going anywhere soon.”

She brought my hand up to her lips and kissed it. Then she said, “I had a moment to think about it. If we went somewhere and you bought a bathing suit for me, would I be more or less exposed?”

I laughed and said, “Maybe that’s my devious plan.”

I finally gave in. We went out on the back deck and took the steps down to the boat house. I have a small powerboat there. It’s a small lake and anything larger than my twenty-eight-foot runabout would be too much boat. But I much prefer to take out the canoe or a kayak.

I handed her a life vest and helped her get into it. I tossed one into the canoe for myself and helped her into the front seat. I showed her how to get comfortable and then I opened the boathouse door. I got in and started paddling along the rugged, deserted shoreline.

This little lake is a long way from just about everywhere. There’s a very small community on the far shore serving tourists and the few residents in the area. And there is one restaurant that I have found halfway around the lake on the eastern shore. But there are very few homes along the shore. That was one of the things that attracted my wife and me to this place. It’s so quiet.

As we moved away from the shore she looked back at my cabin stuck up there on the side of the hill. She said, “I didn’t realize how beautiful your house is, or how large. You can’t tell from the front. Have you lived here long? It looks new.”

I explained that actually I’m not entirely moved in yet. I still have some things from the final load out in the car. Then, with some surprisingly probing questions she got me to explain some of my other less popular philosophies.

I found it increasingly difficult to think of this girl as being sixteen years old. She’s so mature and she actually gives a lot of thought to things that most people don’t. They just accept whatever the conventional wisdom is on whatever subject and give it no thought. I have found that as a general rule our species is not nearly as analytical as it claims to be. She continued to amaze me as the conversation got deeper. Each of her responses was reasonable, intelligent and well thought out.

We paddled around for just over an hour. We were both enjoying the hell out of it but we can’t stay out on the water all day. I turned around and paddled back to the house at a leisurely pace.

While she went upstairs and got cleaned up I unloaded the rest of my things from the car. Then I took a shower and changed clothes.

I insisted on taking her shopping and then out to dinner. She’s uncomfortable with the idea of me buying her any clothes. But she can’t go back to town and get her old clothes from the house she was sharing with the girl from the club. Not yet. No one in the city can be allowed to know she’s still alive. It will be two or three weeks before I think it may be safe to go in and close out her bank account. So with no other options available to her she reluctantly gave in. She was forced to accept my offer of new clothes.

It took me a while to convince her I’m having fun shopping for her. I am, though. It’s a lot of fun. She enjoyed it, too, once she relaxed a little. She’s been getting all of her clothing from thrift stores. When I asked she was unable to remember the last time she bought an item of clothing that hadn’t been owned by someone else first. These are probably the first new clothes she’s gotten since her mother died.

We ended up buying enough clothes for her to get by for a couple of weeks. But there are only a couple of boutiques in the small tourist town by the lake. We’ll have to fill out her wardrobe in a larger town somewhere. I suppose we’ll have to drive down to Middlebury in a few days. It’s unlikely we’ll run into any of the thugs from Burlington there.

After we spent a few hours shopping we went to the nice steakhouse I discovered on the shore of the lake. Andrea stood staring at the place as I came around the car to escort her inside. She looked at me nervously and said, “I’ve never eaten in a nice restaurant. I’ve always had to be too careful with my money. I hope I don’t embarrass you.”

I smiled and put my arm around her shoulders affectionately. I said, “You must be crazy. I’m proud to be seen with a beautiful girl like you.”

She gave me that “Yeah, right!” look.

I turned to face her and put my hands on her shoulders. I looked her right in the eyes and asked, “Do you really not know how pretty you are?!”

She looked at me for a long moment and finally replied, “I’m not so ugly I break mirrors. But I’m plain not pretty. It doesn’t matter, though. No decent man is going to want me, or at least he won’t want me for anything but sex when he finds out about the terrible things I’ve done.”

I had an easy response to that. I didn’t even have to think about it. “I would. If you weren’t half my age I’d be making a major play for you. You’re beautiful and intelligent and sweet despite being so terribly victimized for so much of your life.

“I’ve been astounded at how well you seem to have come through the abuse you’ve suffered. Believe me, Andrea. You won’t have any trouble attracting a nice man your age. Hell! I’m jealous already.”