Chapter 4: Dusk

We were a little family for six months. Yvette and I opened a joint bank account to save for the wedding and a house. I likely could have paid for them outright - and certainly, the family could have - but Yvette wanted our lives together to start on our joint footing. I couldn't argue the logic. I was wrestling with my own inner demons as I realize slowly that while I did want to move back to Reedville when I graduated, I didn't want to work for the fishery. The problem was that I didn't know what I wanted to do. Something around water would be nice, but there aren't a lot of jobs for a full-time swimmer.

So, I admit, I was more distracted and probably more short tempered than usual.

Our living arrangements had settled in nicely. Yvette and I shared a room on the left side of the house. Alex used the guest room on the right across from Granddad's. Yvette got used to Granddad and Grandma Rachael's infrequent but usually unscheduled visits - often with Caesar and Willow in tow. Vette adored Caesar and Willow almost as much as they loved her. I loved watching her with them and imagining her with our kids.

Sitting in the backyard with her and them running around, I stretched out and put my head in her lap. "Hey?"

She gave me a peck on the lips. "Hay is for horses. What?"

"When are we gonna pick uh date for this wedding and have a pair of those of our own?"

"Well, after we both graduate..."

"In six years?"

"I want to finish my doctorate first, yes."

"We can get married now. I can wait for kids for a couple years."

"I want a real wedding, not five minutes in front of a judge."

I sat up. "OK, so we'll have a real wedding. But there's no need to wait until we graduate."

"There's also no reason to rush." She glanced away from me "Caesar! Get down off of that. Don't make me come over there." I looked over my shoulder to see him climbing down from the tool shed. "I don't know how he even gets up there," She murmured before, turning back to me. "Nothing will change when we get married except our insurance rate and that would go down if you'd slow down."

"I like fast cars and fast women." I looped my arm around her and pulled her down on top of me. She yelped and laughed.

"Peter! Behave or I'll call for help!"

"Yeah? From where?"

"Willow!" she yelled with a big grin, "Caesar! Help me tickle Uncle Peter!" I heard the running, squealing, from across the yard. Moments later, I was on the bottom of the pile as three set of hand tried to find my ticklish spots. Fortunately for me, only one of them knew where those were.

She deflected the date discussion every time it came up with the same logic. Since nothing will change - we already live together, we're already having sex, we're not having kids 'til after graduation, there was no need to get married. I had a need. I wanted to.

I will admit, as well, that that did not make me any more patient on the subject.

During summer semester, Alex went home. I wanted to, but decided instead to take a summer class or two - largely because that was what Vette was planning. I did leave a standing invitation for anyone in the family who wanted to come hang out for a few days. Beth came through with Darrell. We got trashed in the back yard one night laughing about the fact that two rural white kids found love with two urban black kids.

"He know?" I asked her. She knew what I was asking.

"No." She took another swallow. "I'm not tellin' him either. What about Vette?"

"Everything." I cleared my throat. "You should tell him. That's not the kind of thing he should find out by accident."

"It's not the kinda thin' he need ta find out."

I started to speak - to order her to tell him - but I stopped and swallowed the words. Beth never was my sub and it wasn't my place to tell her what to do.

"You two need some alone time," Darrell poked his head out of the back door, "Or can uh brothuh join you?"

I liked Darrell; I waved him over. In all honesty, in other circumstances, I would seriously have pushed the idea of a four-way. But Beth wanted our relationship in the past and Vette was still a bit hesitant when it came to new sexual experiences. Suddenly, I wished Alex were there.

But Darrell was - is - a nice guy and he made Beth happy. From what she'd told me, he was the only one who'd managed to make her 'Happy', so he'd actually have to be physically abusive for me to say anything bad about him. Vette joined us and the four of us talked quietly on the back lawn.

After, I took Vette back to our room and kissed the back of her neck. She groaned softly, "Oh, bed now. Sleepy. Sex, morning."

"Sex now. Then sleep. Then sex morning." I slipped my hands under her shirt and massaged her truly mammoth breasts. I loved her breasts. They're real - not pert, not firm but soft and pendulous and pillow-like. Touching them made me want to kiss them. I peeled her shirt off.

"Peter, stop." She pulled away from me, "Jesus! No wonder you sleep with everyone you meet. You're insatiable!"

"OK, A, I'm not insatiable - I just love you. And B, I do not sleep with everyone I meet."

"So I didn't see you leer at Darrell?"

I had to grin at that, "OK, yes, I did check out his ass. What, you don't think he's uh good lookin' guy?"

She pulled a nightgown over those luscious tits, meaning that I was unlikely to get lucky tonight. "That's not my point." I striped and climbed into bed with her. She turned off the light, "You really need to look into this. You're not just highly sexed, Peter, you're highly over-sexed."

"What does that even mean?"

"You keep two lovers on call at a time. Doesn't that seem a little excessive to you?"

"No, it doesn't."

"No?" She turned the light back on. "What is the longest you have ever gone without sex?"

"Vette!" I reached over her to get the light but she blocked me. "Oh, come on. I have no idea. Come on, it's late. If we're not gonna fool around, then let's get some sleep."

"How long?"

"I don't know." I stopped and thought about it. "I'm guessing you mean longer than a day or so." Then I really thought about it. I honestly couldn't remember going a week, a full week without have sex of some kind. "I don't know, probably a week and before you moved in. OK?"

"Not OK. You know the average couple has sex 2-3 times a week. You try for daily."

"So? You don't let me daily so we're probably about average."

"Yes but you have Alex - which is a sexual outlet for you, don't say he's not - and you're with him 2-3 times a week, which means you're really 4-6 times a week or almost daily."

"I do not like where this conversation is going. Nor do I appreciate the implication that I'm some kinda sex manic. You want me ta back off, fine. Sorry."

She shook her head. "You'll just turn to Alex more often." She put her hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. "Look, this isn't about me or Alex. It's about you and why you seem to crave so much physical attention. I mean, I know your Mother..."

"What the hell? This is about my Mother?"

"Peter, calm down. I don't mean she did anything to harm you..."

"What, is this analysis now? My Mother is uh hell of uh woman an' it's a wonder she didn't slit her wrists before I was born. If I got uh problem, it ain't 'cause uh her."

"OK. OK! Your Mother's a saint. Sorry I said something." She smacked the light switch and rolled away from me leaving me plenty of space.

I couldn't sleep. I didn't crave physical attention. And yet, even as I was thinking that, I wanted to turn around and hold her. I thought it was because I loved her and even when we argued, I wanted to hold her. I didn't think that was unusual but I fought the urge. I passed a rotten night.

I was irritable most of the next morning. I was irritable most of the next month when Yvette decided to cut me off just to see if I had an addiction or a habit.

I spent a lot more time at the gym. In fact, I took a part-time job as a lifeguard when I learned they were looking for one. As an added bonus, a couple parents asked me to teach their kids to swim. It was a lot of fun and I seemed to be pretty good at it.