Introduction

As far as damsel in distress stories go, the tale of Helen's abduction by Paris, son of Priam, and the consequences must lay claim to being one of the earliest.

Although there are plenty who question whether or not she was a willing "abductee" when it came to Priam, she was a serial victim. Before she was married to Menelaus, King of Sparta, she had been abducted by Theseus, King of Athens (yes, the one that slew the minotaur) and the King of Larissa because they both wanted to make love to one of the daughters of Zeus. She had a troubled life, but maybe that's what you have to expect if your father rapes your mother while in the guise of a swan.

This tale is set against the same background but it's not quite such an ambitious tale. It makes no claim to address the great themes of heroism, fate, jealousy, revenge, and lust that the Greek myths explore.

Well maybe lust.

It's just a gallop through the Aegean word and what happens when Freddie Clegg's comfortable Mediterranean base is disturbed by incomers.

So, as far as this story goes, the answer to the question, "Is this the face that launched a thousand ships and burned the topless towers of Ilium?" is...

"No, not really, but she has got a nice pair of tits."

And while there is a Helen in this tale, she doesn't get to see anything of Troy.

Needless to say the events and characters in this story are entirely fictional. No women were harmed in the production of this tale. J