Chapter 3

Later that night Nikki was asleep laying next to me but I myself could not find dreamland. My mind raced with questions and doubts. I had seemingly completely accepted Nikki's explanation and I had morphed from a totally devastated man having learned that his future wife had cheated on him into a devoted, loving husband and the return to a blissful marriage in what ... a matter of moments?

Well not so. A couple of things still troubled me but I didn't think mentally beating up Nikki any more than I already had would gain me the answers I needed, so I had taken on the role of the fully understand and forgiving husband ... but just for the time being.

After my talk with Nikki I had made up my mind on a couple of very, very important things otherwise Nikki would not be laying beside me in this bed right now. She would be out in the gutter with a suitcase in her hand. You see, you come to know a person that you deeply love and has been your best friend for ten years, so yes; I now truly believed that both of the girls were indeed mine. However I would let Nikki herself follow through with the paternity tests. And Yes, I now also believed that Nikki has been completely faithful to me from the time of her fall nine years ago to this day. If I didn't believe either one of those two things ... well, I explained that didn't I.

What still troubled me was; although I understand that college kids do some really stupid things, especially those in difficult circumstances, knowing Nikki of today as well as I do, a respectful and dignified, wife and mother with good morals I find it difficult to believe she would submit herself to such degrading acts willingly. Doing so is completely out of character for her. Especially considering she knew that the session was to be posted on the Internet. Could the twenty year old Nikki I didn't know quite as well really allow herself to be taped doing such things knowing it would be put on the Internet? Hell, fear of discovery alone should have been enough to prevent it, even if she had agreed to do it before she met me, and taken some money upfront. Nikki had told me that Mike had blackmailed one of her roommates named Megan Connelly. Did Mike also have something on Nikki and he was using it to blackmail her? And just because the university shut down the porn site, how that could make the whole blackmail thing just go away was beyond me. Or did it just go away? I needed to ask Nikki if she knows what Mike had on this Megan Connelly to blackmail her with. Yes indeed, something stinks in Slotsylvania.

Another thing is Tom Vance sending the disk; If Tom was intimidated by Nikki's threat to file sexual harassment charges, and every indication is that he was, then what could have been his motivation to send me the DVD disk six months later? Based on that, could Mike have sent the disk? If so what was his motivation? It seemed to me that both Tom and Mike had nothing to gain and much more to lose by sending me the Disk. So who in the hell sent it?

Now the big number three; does Nikki know the answers to these questions and is she knowingly avoiding telling me? I knew that by just thinking about question number three does bring up the issue of trust. Do I trust Nikki? Before receiving the disk the answer would have been; completely and without reservation. But now, after learning of her omission to tell me about Facial Cruelty I wasn't nearly as certain. To my knowledge Nikki had never out and out lied to me. Yet, one definition states that 'to lie by omission is to remain silent and thereby withhold from someone else a vital piece of information. The silence is deceptive in that it gives a false impression to the person from whom the information was withheld. It subverts the truth; it is a way to manipulate someone into altering their behavior to suit the desire of the person who intentionally withheld the vital information; and, most importantly, it's a gross violation of another person's right of self-determination.' That, Nikki had most assuredly done; lied by omission. She claims to have done so merely to protect me from being hurt. Ah, if only it were that simple. And I hoped with all my heart that it was. But, what was that about Slotsylvania?

Yet, even with my complete trust in her at question I absolutely believed Nikki has been faithful to our marriage vows, and I am also just as certain that the girls are mine, but an important piece or two of the puzzle are still missing.

I had specifically approached Nikki about the idea of fucking over Tom and Mike in order to get her reaction and she had come through with flying colors. She told me she would stand by my side from getting them fired, all the way to cutting their nuts off. Huh, didn't sound like a woman that one or more of these men had something on and she was afraid would come out. Then what?